Who Are You?
by baruka athena
Summary: -Darksper- Bella meets a mysterious cowboy with gold and red eyes in her new school and is immediately intrigued. Will she accept the offer he is making her? AU/OOC Rated M language/lemon.
1. Chapter 1 The Cowboy

**AN: This story was originally a oneshot submitted for the Show Us Your Dark Side contest, but I'm extending it. I've made some minor changes to make it fit the multi-chapter fic I have in mind (and to get rid of some inconsistencies).**

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**Show Us Your Dark Side Contest**

**Title:**Who Are You?

**Penname:**Baruka Athena

**Summary:**-Darksper- I felt his eyes burn on my body as I walked through the crowded cafeteria, disturbingly beautiful eyes, liquid gold with hints of red. I had never seen eyes of that color before and I was immediately intrigued. Rated M for language and lemon.

**Disclaimer:**Sadly, I don't own anything…

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**Chapter 1 - The cowboy**

**BPOV**

I felt his eyes burn on my body as I walked through the crowded cafeteria, disturbingly beautiful eyes, liquid gold with hints of red. I had never seen eyes of that color before and I was immediately intrigued. As I joined the line at the food counter, I casually overlooked the lunch area. Oh, he was definitely still looking at me. Our eyes connected for a millisecond and a jolt of electricity coursed through my body which made me shiver in delight. I turned round facing the lunch lady and wondered who that boy was. Or rather who that man was, he looked so out of place in a high school cafeteria.

He was wearing a black shirt, jeans and cowboy boots, which would have looked foolish on all the guys in school, but were fuck hot on him. Oh yes, I had been checking him out in my fourth period Spanish class. He was sitting right in front of me and I hadn't seen his face until he stood up and turned when the bell rang. Our eyes had connected and he was giving me the once over, thoroughly eye-fucking me. I couldn't say I minded, the guy was gorgeous. His messy blond hair framed his face perfectly and his eyes burned with an intensity I had never seen before. He was tall and lean, but clearly muscular and I found myself imagining his strong arms holding me up against a wall and his full lips crashing on mine. I shook myself from my fantasy and was about to introduce myself, being the new girl in school could come in handy sometimes, when he just took off. He walked out without saying a word to me and left me standing there like a complete idiot.

I took my lunch tray and walked towards an empty table as far away from him as possible. His eyes followed me around again and his looks shot right to my core. Fuck, how could it be that he had this effect on me simply by looking at me?

I started eating my pizza and kept casting sidelong glances at him, finding out he never took his eyes off me. He never even touched the food in front of him and I was starting to get a little uncomfortable. But not as uncomfortable as I was going to get. A guy from my biology class had joined me at my table and was trying to chat me up. He was cute, but his whining reminded me too much of my ex I left in Phoenix. Edward freakin' Cullen the third. Why I had stayed with him for so long, I didn't know. He was a controlling, whiny bastard that treated me like a doormat. Glad I got rid of that fucker.

Now my good mood was officially gone because of this douche bag Mike Newton, who obviously thought he was the man of the school. I would have told him to piss off a long time ago, if I hadn't noticed what his presence was doing to my golden eyed cowboy at the other end of the room. His expression had become brooding and his hands were balled to fists. That had to mean I was getting to him as well. So I kept chatting with Mikey-boy, just to annoy him. When the bell for fifth period rang I saw him rush off in the corner of my eye and I told Mike bluntly he was wasting my time. Didn't make a friend there.

The day wore on without further sight of that beautiful stranger. Classes were annoying, as always and I knew already how much this year was going to suck. Suddenly the decision to move to Forks, Washington, to get as far away as possible from my ex-boyfriend sounded ridiculous to me. Although that was not the reason I had told my mother, I had said I wanted to spend some time with my father. Any excuse would have been fine with her, she actually wanted to be alone with her new boy-toy.

After my last class, I had to make a quick visit to the secretary to sort out my new locker and then this day would finally be over. I longed to go home and draw a hot bath. Much to my annoyance it took the lady at the desk ages to find my locker and combination and by the time I was ready to go home, the school was deserted. Walking through the empty halls gave me the creeps. I had this feeling there were eyes lurking in the dark corners. Girl, get a grip, I scolded myself. You're not six anymore, there's nothing hiding in the dark. Oh, how I was wrong…

I was dragged into an empty classroom and a strong, cold hand was covering my mouth so I couldn't scream. My attacker pressed me up against a wall and held me immobilized by pressing his hard body into me. I was frantically trying to get away, kicking, scratching and biting, all to no avail. Blood was rushing in my ears and a red veil shrouded my vision. Suddenly he grabbed my chin and forced me to look at him. When I recognized his red and golden eyes, all my rage and fear was instantly replaced with lust. It came crashing over me in waves, stronger than any emotion I had ever felt before.

"If I release you know, do you promise not to scream?" he asked in a deep, velvety voice that sent shivers down my spine.

I nodded and he slowly removed his hand from my mouth, but still kept his body pressed to mine. The amount of desire that was flooding me now, made it hard for me to stand and I trembled a little. It seemed like he was waiting for me to make the first move, but I'm not one to give in easily. I stared into his eyes that were, by some strange effect of the light, getting darker and darker by the second. It took them a minute to turn pitch black and now his eyes were looking straight into my soul.

_Fuck me_, I thought and I dove in head first, not able to contain myself any longer. The moment my lips touched his, he attacked my mouth with every bit as much passion as I felt burning inside of me. Our tongues tangled together and I moaned in his mouth at his sweet taste. His hands raked over me and my desire increased to the point where my legs were giving out from under me. Without breaking our kiss, he lifted me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. His hard cock was pressed into my center and I twisted my hips so I rubbed myself against him.

His hands found there way to my breasts and he was massaging them feverishly. He must have been frustrated by the amount of fabric that was covering them, because he walked me over to the teacher's desk, sat me down and tore my shirt and my bra from me in one quick movement. This should have made me angry and violated, but it was motherfucking hot and I felt myself getting wet for this man. He inhaled deeply and fixed his eyes on mine. He leaned closer to me and whispered in my ear: "Not yet, darling."

He moved his kisses to my exposed chest and I leaned back on my elbows on the desk fisting my hands in his hair. He sucked and nibbled on my nipples and my need for him to go lower and remove my pants was growing exponentially. I moved my hands down his chest, and lower, trying to unbutton his pants. As soon as he realized what I was doing, he grabbed my hands and held them above my head, pinning them do the desk with one hand.

"Don't be impatient," he said in a whisper. Then he commanded: "Keep your hands right there until I say you can let go." The authority in his voice was so clear, I didn't even think about disobeying.

I was lying fully stretched across the desk now, arms stilled above my head, lower legs dangling off on the other side. He was standing next to me, piercing me with his strange eyes, roaming my body with his hands. Each time his fingers passed my exposed breasts, I arched my back to press myself into his hands. He chuckled at my eagerness, but didn't reprimand me.

"Close your eyes," he ordered and for a moment I could imagine him in an army uniform. I complied willingly and shudders of anticipation were racing through my body. He started kissing me again and trailed his kisses from my mouth over my neck to my collarbone. By the time he reached my nipple, I was aching for him so hard, my hands lifted from the desk. Immediately his attention to my nipple stopped and he slammed my hands back down, growling: "I told you to keep your hands right there. If you move again, I will have to tie you up."

Again, that should've scared me, but somewhere deep inside I wanted him to tie me up. But the tone of his voice kept me from going against his wishes. He waited for me to stay still and started sucking on my nipple again. His tongue felt cold, but I thought it was because I was on fire. Suddenly he stopped.

"Don't move," he told me and I stopped squirming under his touch.

Suddenly I felt a sharp pain right above my left nipple and I gasped. He shushed me and covered the painful area with his mouth and started sucking. The coldness of his mouth soothed the sting immediately and I was getting curious about what he was doing. I peeped through my eyelashes to find out what was going on. When I saw him, my eyes popped open. He was sucking on my breast and one drop of blood was slowly rolling to the side.

He caught me staring and jerked his head back, lips covered in my blood. The sight of him was so hot, I wanted to attack his mouth. But I remembered his command not to move my hands and stayed motionless. He looked angry at me that I had opened my eyes and that turned me on even more. Fuck, what was he doing to me? I guess he realized how aroused I was, because he moved his mouth closer to mine and I licked my lips.

"I like you, Isabella," he whispered. "I think I'll let you live." The words had barely left his lips when he disappeared. One moment he was bending over me, the next he was gone, leaving me hot, wet and extremely frustrated. I grabbed my ripped clothes and tried to dress again. Luckily I had left my coat in my car so I could cover myself when I got home. That night was spent in the hope of seeing him again. And if I did, I would make sure things ended differently.

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I had been in Forks one week and I hadn't seen my cowboy – as I now called him – again. My body ached for him and I had to relieve my tension manually every night, which wasn't nearly satisfying enough. The need to feel his hands on my body again was slowly killing me and by the end of the week I was frantic. I was beginning to think I was hallucinating when I saw him in a flash at the other end of the hallway. Since my classes were done for the day, I rushed after him, wanting him to finish what he had started. When I reached the place where I last saw him, I caught a glimpse of him walking onto the parking lot. Damn it, why wouldn't he just stay in one place? I ran to the doors as fast as I could, opened them and casually strolled outside, meanwhile scanning the entire lot. He wasn't hard to find as he stood leaning against a shiny black Corvette. He immediately saw me and nodded for me to come over.

"Get in," he said, stepping into the car himself, leaving me a choice. Either I would get in the car with him, not knowing where he'd take me or I would stay in the parking lot and this could be the last chance I had for talking to him. Of one thing I was certain. He was no student in this high school. So I wasn't giving up on my one chance and I got in. He sped off before I could speak or even buckle up. We drove in silence for about half an hour when he turned in what looked like an empty service road. As we pulled up to a huge mansion after a couple of minutes, I realized it was a driveway. He motioned for me to get out, grabbed my hand and led me into the house. It was empty, but well kept. I could have marveled about the design and decorating, but I only had eyes for him. All thoughts I had about confronting him with his sudden disappearance and the questions I had were erased from my mind. The only thing I wanted was for him to fuck me senseless.

He led me into the kitchen and started fixing me a drink.

"What's your name?" I asked him as he handed me a gin tonic.

"Jasper."

"Why have you brought me here, Jasper?" I asked, boldened by his response, sipping from my drink.

"To give you what you want."

"And what do I want?"

Instead of answering he moved closer to me. He picked me up and put me on the kitchen counter. He gently parted my legs and went to stand between them. He took my gin tonic from me and put it next to me on the counter.

"Me," he whispered and I flung myself at him. That single word had turned me on more than any of his actions did. We kissed feverishly and I wanted to take control. To my surprise he let me take of his shirt and unbuckle his belt. But that's where it stopped. Just like before he ripped my blouse from me and his hands moved up my thighs, underneath my skirt to rip off my panties as well. He pushed me back against the cabinets and started sucking on my neck while he pushed two of his fingers in my wet folds. I groaned loudly when he began rubbing my clit. I grabbed his cock through his pants and he growled, but let me. I snaked my hands inside his boxers and took his big dick in my hand, slowly moving it.

"I want you inside me," I groaned, but at that instant he pulled out his fingers and put his hand over my mouth.

"From now on you only speak when I tell you to speak," he growled and waited for me to nod.

He released me and took his cock in his own hand. He looked deep into my eyes and thrust forcefully into me. I moaned, but didn't speak and he didn't stop his thrusts. His dick was doing wonders inside me and I felt my orgasm fast approaching. His grunts had turned into growls and I felt he was nearing the edge as well.

"Who are you?" he growled into my ears and I moaned "Isabella."

Again he asked "Who are you?"

"Isabella."

"Who are you," he asked a third time and as my orgasm made my body shudder, I screamed:

"I'm yours!"

After that the world went dark…

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**AN: Thanks for reading. Please let me know what you think of it...**


	2. Chapter 2 The Vixen

**AN: By popular demand I'm extending my oneshot. Hope you enjoy it!**

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**Chapter 2 – The Vixen**

**JPOV**

"I'm yours!" she screamed, as she clenched down on my cock and with a few swift thrusts I was spilling inside her, a low growl erupting from my chest. The need to make her mine was all-consuming and I gritted my teeth to prevent me from sinking them into her neck. No, not this one, she's special. I would give her a choice...

Her body fell slump against mine. To my surprise the girl had fainted in my arms. I wondered if I had been too rough with her? She was merely human after all, and it wasn't my normal behavior to have sex with them.

I pulled out of her and zipped up my pants with one hand, while holding the girl up with the other. I swung her over my shoulder unceremoniously, taking her half shredded blouse in one hand and sped off towards my room. There I gently lowered her down on the bed and tried my best to redress her. Her breathing was returning to normal and I suspected she would be coming to soon. I took the time to admire her features once more. She was absolutely stunning. She had the body of a goddess, perky tits, not too big, but not too small either, a flat stomach, an ass a man ached to squeeze and legs that kept coming. And that was as a human. As a vampire she would be damn near perfect. But I wouldn't force that on her. Not when I wanted her to be truly mine.

To think it was mere chance I had chosen that school to find my snack. I really was a lucky bastard to have found her. Although I mostly fed of animals, I occasionally had a young girl or boy to quench my thirst. It lessened the bloodlust to a more manageable level, so I could be a part of the human world. And while I was roaming the halls of the school I stumbled on this treat. I had followed her into what apparently was her Spanish class and sat right in front of her. The boredom that was radiating of her made me feel lucky I've never been or ever will be in high school. And then I turned round to face her… The second she laid eyes on me her lust sky rocketed and I nearly took her right then and there. Fuck me, was she a little vixen.

She was stirring now and her eyes fluttered open. Her gaze locked with mine and she calmed down instantly.

"Jasper," she whispered, "what happened?"

"You fainted, Isabella," I said and sat down on the edge of the bed. She blushed and I could feel how embarrassed she was.

"Fuck, that never happened to me before," she mumbled under her breath. I could barely suppress a chuckle and she noticed. Immediately her temper flared and she glared at me. That didn't scare me in the least and I grinned at her. Now she snorted at me and started to get up from the bed, smoothing down her skirt and blouse. I watched her in amusement, she surely was a feisty one. She took a few steps and swayed from standing up too fast. I had her in my arms before she had a chance to fall down, our faces only inches apart. I wanted to make a witty comment, but the words got stuck in my throat when I looked into her gorgeous brown eyes. The need to make her mine once again awoke in me as I was hit with a massive wave of lust radiating off the woman in my arms.

"Don't move," I commanded as I sat her down on the edge of the bed. I kneeled down between her legs and started unbuttoning her shirt. Goosebumps arose on her delicate skin when my hands brushed over her naked flesh and a jolt of electricity went straight to my dick. It took almost all of my control not to ravish her right her on the spot. I could still feel the pull that made me want to claim her, but I knew I had to take my time if I really wanted to make her mine. I slid the shirt over her shoulders revealing the most delicious set of breasts I had ever seen, pushed upwards in black lace. My control slipped a little and I ripped the bra from her body. I expected some sort of offended feeling from her, but her desire for me only increased which in turn made my cock twitch. The girl liked it when I took control.

I had just fucked her hard and fast. This time I was going to let her squirm before I took her hard and fast. I started sucking on a pert nipple and she fisted her hands in my hair. Paying an equal amount of attention to both nipples, I sucked and nibbled, while my hands roamed her stomach and thighs. I pushed up her skirt and caressed between her legs. The scent of her arousal hit me like a brick wall and I had to fight extremely hard to control my bloodlust. I focused on keeping my mouth attached to her tit and not biting down too hard.

Once I regained some control I sat up and looked at her. She knew she wasn't supposed to speak and she bit down on her bottom lip. Good girl. There was a fire in her eyes though that told me she was in fact a bad girl and she wanted me to ravish her. I could feel it in her emotions, she was getting impatient. She would be a handful this one, even when tamed.

Faster than she could register I removed her skirt leaving her fully exposed in front of me, but she didn't even flinch. I felt a little confusion, but no fear and it was all drowned by the overwhelming desire that was radiating from her. I gazed down on her wet sex and my cock twitched. The scent she emitted was heavenly and I licked her slit from bottom to top. She moaned softly as I took her clit in my mouth and started licking it carefully. It didn't take me long before I had her squirming underneath me just like I wanted her. One of her hands was still fisted in my hairs, the other was in her mouth and she was biting down hard on it. Before she was able to make herself bleed, I pulled her hand out of her mouth, saying:

"You can scream if you want to, darling."

And scream she did. It was the most wonderful sound I had ever heard and I wanted to bury my dick inside her so hard, my hard-on tore straight through the fabric of my jeans.

"Get on your hands and knees, Isabella," I ordered her with a growl and she sat down on the edge of the bed just like I wanted. The sight of her ass and dripping wet sex was more than I could take and I positioned myself behind her. I gripped her hips tightly and plunged in, probably leaving hand shaped bruises when I was done. She wasn't as tight as before, which gave me time to take it slow. I kept up a steady pace until she was starting to groan. That's when I let my inner beast go and I started pounding into her hard and fast, but this time making sure she would stay with me until the very end. With my unnatural speed, it didn't take me long to make her come and while she was screaming out my name, I released inside her.

She was panting heavily when I pulled out and she dropped on her stomach in an attempt to catch her breath.

"Fuck me," she muttered in the pillow.

"I just did, darling," I chuckled behind her.

"Don't be a smartass, handsome, women don't like that," she smirked as she turned on her back to look at me.

Hmm, being dominated during sex certainly had no effect on how she was outside the sack. I had to remember that if I wanted her to become my equal. I started putting on a new pair of pants and I assumed she would be dressing as well, but she stayed sprawled all over my bed, smirk still in place. She had to be the most confident woman I had ever encountered. She just got thoroughly fucked by a fucking vampire and she had the guts to lie there as if she was in her own bed, not the slightest bit of insecurities in her emotions. There was only after-sex glow and curiosity. She was going to be the death of me, no doubt about it.

So we held a bit of a staring contest, she naked on my bed, I in front of her with only my jeans on. Just as I wanted to order her to get off the bed and get dressed, she spoke up.

"So, cowboy, are you going to tell me what the fuck you are and what the fuck I am doing here?" she asked. "Besides from giving me what I wanted and apparently making me yours," she added as an afterthought.

That caught me a bit of guard and she knew it judging by the smugness on her face and the confidence in her emotions. I decided to be honest with her. For the first time in over one and a half century I was going to tell the truth to a human.

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**AN: So this was the first time ever I've written from a guy POV, all feedback is welcomed...**


	3. Chapter 3 Ancient History

**Chapter 3 – Ancient history**

**BPOV**

He was staring at me with those strange red and golden eyes, only now I knew how they got to be that color.

Vampire…

The word kept echoing through my head as if it wanted to elicit some kind of response. And would it have been any other person who claimed to be a vampire, I'd probably laugh my ass off. But with Jasper, I knew he wasn't kidding. The story he told me was far too detailed and horrific to be anything but true. Unfortunately. I couldn't begin to imagine what those wars did to him.

He told me about his time with the Confederate Army and being turned by Maria. I listened while he told me only a fraction of the horrid things he did under her reign, but it was enough to make me sick. At one point he even wanted to stop talking, because he didn't think I could handle it. That made me angry; I'm not a fragile person and I wanted to know everything. So he went on.

When he was telling me about Peter and Charlotte and how they had managed to get him out of Maria's grip, I was inwardly cheering. Somehow it made me happy to know that he had friends that cared about him and that he found it in him to leave all the madness behind. He continued the story with the years he and his two vampire friends lived as nomads, surviving on random human prey. While he was talking, I was wondering how it was possible that he never found another woman, vampire or human, to share his life with. I asked him, but he fell silent. It looked like he was contemplating telling me another one of his secrets.

"Listen, Jasper," I started, feeling uncomfortable with having asked the question, "if you don't want to tell me, then don't. You've already told me so much shit; I have a hard time wrapping my head around it as it is. But I want you to know that I can handle it, how fucked up it might be."

He chuckled softly. "I have no trouble believing you can handle it, darling," he said, grinning crookedly. Then his eyes seemed to lose their focus and his expression became pained. During everything he had told me, not once had he looked this pained. It was something big, at least big for him, he was about to tell me. Finally, he focused back on me, ready to tell me something he clearly dreaded to tell.

"I am hesitant to tell you this part of my history, because I like the way you look at me," he admitted and his statement confused me. If what he told me before this didn't change the way I looked at him, surely nothing could. But he seemed to think otherwise.

"Vampires heal from every wound, except from ones made by vampire venom. During my time with Maria, I was responsible for handling the most erratic newborns, keeping them under our control. I have been bitten many times and I have the scars to prove it. My whole body is covered in them."

He looked at me expectantly, but to be honest, I had seen him without his shirt and I couldn't remember seeing a single scar.

"I didn't see your scars earlier, when we were having sex."

"You didn't?" he asked surprised. "I mean, I know I turned you around, but you kept staring at me afterwards and I was sure you would have noticed something. All women I've had sex with were quite repulsed by them."

"Human or vampire?"

"What?"

"Were they human or vampire, these women?"

"Vampire."

"Am I the first human you've had sex with?"

He nodded. That surprised me, but at the same time it was quite flattering. It made me feel special. Made me feel like I wasn't the cheap slut I was often perceived to be. But that wasn't exactly relevant at this moment, so I shared my conclusion with him.

"It must a vampire thing then, only vampires can see your scars," I stated.

"I wish that were true," he sighed, "you just haven't looked close enough." He seemed so sad and so determined that I was going to be repulsed by him, I desperately felt the need to show him otherwise.

"You're a fucking god, Jasper," I said as I stood up from my chair and walked towards him, "scars or no scars…"

I approached him slowly, never taking my eyes of his face. The confident smirk that was permanently plastered on his face was faltering a little and he let me back him into a chair. I straddled his lap and began studying his face. Once I knew what to look for I could clearly make out the scars. All along his jaw line were very faint lines visible, forming crescent shaped biting marks.

"May I?" I asked and he nodded again.

With one finger I traced one of the markings. It was hardly noticeable, but now I had felt one, I was certain I could recognize others. So I let my hands roam the exposed skin of his neck, behind his ears, to the back of his head. Everywhere I touched, I felt scars, not a square inch devoid of a reminder of what he had gone through. And even though it was horrifying, I couldn't feel sorry for him. He had been to hell and back and that had shaped him into the person he was now. And it was this person that I was attracted to, not a hypothetical version of him, killed ages ago.

Since he didn't stop me feeling him up, I wanted to explore more of his body. I started unbuttoning his shirt while I looked back into his eyes. They were red and gold before, but they were getting darker now. At first I thought it to be a trick of the light, but when I shifted a bit, looking at a different angle they stayed dark.

"They change color," he suddenly said as he slipped out of his shirt.

"What does it mean? Why do they change now and not before?" I had this urge to know everything about him that there was to know.

"Two things make them dark," he explained, "sex and blood."

And suddenly I realized I had seen it before, that first time we met, only one week ago. When his eyes had turned completely black and he looked into my eyes, I had been unable to contain my overwhelming horniness and I had just attacked him.

"I like it when your eyes are black," I whispered and lowered my head to his collarbone. There I started tracing one of his scars with my tongue. I followed a trail of scars all over his chest, stopping to nibble at his nipples before wandering further south. I slid off his lap and positioned myself on my knees between his legs. I licked his belly button and then down until I was stopped by the edge of his pants. I could already feel his wood strain his pants and I wanted to set him free as soon as possible.

I started undoing his pants, when there was suddenly a flash of movement and he sat in front of me, completely naked. Damn vampire, that was fucking hot. A wave of heat went straight to my core and I felt myself getting wet. He inhaled deeply, taking in my scent, and his eyes if possible turned even darker.

Very slowly I looked down from his face, over his chest, six-pack to his proudly erect dick. It was the first time I saw it, instead of feeling it inside of me and he looked perfect. I already knew it fitted perfectly, but to see it made my panties drip. He was long, but not too long, about 8 inches and when I wrapped my hand around it, my fingers couldn't go all the way round. A little precum was gathered at the tip and I licked it off slowly. The small amount of venom in it tingled on my tongue and numbed it, but it was a nice feeling.

I trailed the length of his cock with my tongue before I took him in my mouth. When my lips wrapped around the head, a low rumble came from his chest and the vibrations made me quiver. I sucked the head meanwhile jerking him off with my right hand. Then I started dipping my head lower and lower over his cock 'till the head hit the back of my throat. That made him moan out loud and I continued deep throating him agonizingly slow. After a while he couldn't take my teasing anymore and he took my hair in his hand to set the pace. I've never been a fan of mouth fucking, but with Jasper doing it, it was the hottest blow job I've ever given. When his movements were becoming more erratic, I grabbed his balls in my hand and gave them a squeeze. That made him shoot his load and my whole mouth went numb as I swallowed his creamy liquid. I couldn't even tell what his cum tasted like. It made me giggle and he quirked his brow at me.

"My tongue is numb from your venom," I explained, barely containing my giggles.

He looked dumbstruck for a few seconds and then a smile crept up his face. He started laughing and it was literally music to my ears. Hearing his laughter seemed to make everything alright and I know it sounds like a terrible cliché, but it did make the world a brighter place and I laughed along with him. When we were done, he pulled me on his lap and kissed me, slow and deep until the feeling returned in my mouth.

He wanted to return the favor and started undressing me, but I stopped him. I had to admit I was still a bit sore from earlier and I had wanted to do this for him, no strings attached. He understood and apologized for hurting me. It was kind of cute coming from such a dominating personality and I felt myself getting drawn to him more and more. Instead of having sex again, Jasper decided I should have something to eat and drink, so he ordered me a pizza.

While I ate, he told me more about what his life looked like at this moment. He, Peter and Charlotte had a couple of houses spread out over the entire continental USA and they moved a lot. He tried to maintain an animal diet, but every once in a while switched back to humans to alleviate his bloodlust. The other two vampires preyed upon sick and old people and had to feed much less than him. It was actually pretty disturbing to realize that he would've killed me if I hadn't been drawn to me the way he was.

"So what are you planning to do with me?" I asked when I was finished eating. I took a sip from my glass of water gauging his reaction. I had been thinking about this ever since he started telling me his story. I didn't think he would have told me all this if he planned on letting me go home, just like that. But somehow I couldn't care about my father, school, Forks, if only I could be with Jasper, then I would be happy. Or at least happier than I've been in a long time.

"You've already figured out that I can't let you go home, knowing what you know. What you don't know, is that Charlotte had a special gift. She can erase parts of people's minds. So if you tell me now that you'd rather go home and never see me again, then we'll take care of that and you won't even recall seeing me in school."

"And what if I don't want to forget about you?"

"Then I propose this: You come with me and leave Forks behind without once glancing back. You'll get to meet my friends, learn about our lives and then I'll give you another choice…"

"What choice?" I whispered, suspecting he was going to offer me the choice of a lifetime.

"After you learn everything there is to learn about us, exactly one year from this day, you'll get to choose whether you stay with us and become a vampire."

Fuck me sideways. Becoming a vampire… staying young and beautiful for the rest of eternity. It was something every woman thought about at least once. But I already knew it wasn't all rainbows and butterflies. I had remembered that much about Jasper's story. Of one thing I was absolutely sure at this time; there was no way I was letting him go. Screw Forks and screw school. My dad would be looking for me, but he had not once shown an interest in my life, so why would I take him into account. No, my choice was made.

"I'll come with you," I said, my voice steadier than I suspected it to be. Jasper had been watching me intently and his posture became slightly less tense once I made my choice. He wrapped me in a cold, hard, but gentle embrace and whispered in my ear: "Darling, the things I will show you…"

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**AN: Hi everybody, first of all, thanks for the wonderful reviews, that makes me write so much faster. **

**Second: Go and check out the Everything's bigger in Texas Awards hosted by Jasper's Darlins (http://jaspersdarlins(dot)blogspot(dot)com)**

**My collab with Kaitsa (Believe by Paradise in Me) is nominated in the Jasper's 180 category. Please go and vote for it!**


	4. Chapter 4 Peter & Charlotte

**Chapter 4 – Peter & Charlotte**

**JPOV**

I had sent Isabella home with my Corvette to take care of all the loose ends. She would pack her things, leave a note for her father and then come back to me so we could start our journey. It proved to be harder than I thought, letting her go. During the day she spent with me, a connection had formed and the moment she was out of my sight a strange empty feeling came over me. If I didn't know better, I would have described it as being loneliness. I shrugged it aside and buried this feeling somewhere deep inside. I wasn't some pansy ass wimp whining over a girl. She was mine and I simply wanted my belongings with me at all time.

There was another reason I had sent the girl off. Peter. He was due home every minute now and he wouldn't be thrilled to find a human in the house. It had been the three of us, Peter, Charlotte and I, for over a hundred years now and to say he wasn't fond of humans, was a bit of an understatement. Hell, I wasn't fond of humans until I met Isabella and that was only six days ago. I had no idea how to explain what had happened between her and me. At first she was a snack, then she was a great fuck, and the next moment I wanted to make her one of us? That didn't make any sense at all.

"Motherfucker, what have you done?" Peter burst through the door, his rage slamming into me like a brick wall.

"I hope she's not somewhere bleeding on the carpet," Charlotte added to that, her anger reflecting Peter's.

I stood quiet and let them fume for a couple of minutes, all sorts of insults thrown at my face. I would let it slip this time, because the situation was exceptional. But when their rage died down, I would make it perfectly clear to not ever question one of my decisions again. This was not a democracy we were in. I was and always will be in charge. Not that I ever had to lay down the law, usually we were all on the same page, but this time would be different. I felt it in their emotions.

"Where is she?" Peter asked me as he approached me. "I can smell her all over you."

"She's fine. I've sent her home."

"What?" he gasped. "Does she know about us?"

I nodded and I felt his anger with me increase exponentially. "What were you thinking?" he yelled in my face and took another step closer to me. I closed the distance between us with one step, now standing face to face. It was then he realized he made a mistake and backed down a bit. Charlotte grabbed his arm and pulled him back, her anger replaced by worry; worry for what I could do to her mate when I lost my temper.

"Are you ready to listen to what I have to say or are you going to continue to shout at me?" I asked in a deceptively calm voice and felt a touch of fear mingle into his emotions.

I waited a couple seconds for Peter's internal struggle to be over and when I felt his surrender, I whispered: "I thought so."

"Fine," he spoke through clenched teeth while crossing his arms in front of his chest, "why don't you tell me exactly what has been going on since we left, sir?"

The 'sir' stung. I was in charge, but they were still my friends, my only friends, so I backed off a bit as well. Their postures relaxed when I sent a wave of calm their way. It was my manner of showing them I wasn't mad at them anymore for getting in my face like that. If we had been human, I would have asked them to sit down with me, but we never were around humans long enough to adapt to any of their behavior. In result, the three of us just stood there like statues, our eyes the only things that were moving.

"What do you know already?" I started, referring to Peter's talent of knowing shit as he called it. Charlotte and I had named him Merlin, but he would kick our asses when he heard us using it; ever since he saw Star Wars he wanted to be called Yoda, but it never stuck.

"Too fucking little, that's what I know," he stated and I could sense he was disturbed by that. "I know someone has come into our lives and shit's about to get fucked up."

"Fucked up how?" It was a bit unsettling to hear Peter; the more upset he was, the more he started to swear.

"I don't know yet. All I know is, some big motherfucking changes are coming and you know we don't do well with that."

The changes part was certainly going to be true. We just have to see about how we're going to handle Isabella's presence.

"Now that I've smelled the human's scent, some of the pieces of the puzzle are falling into place," Peter was muttering as much to himself as to Charlotte and me. "It's definitely a young girl, probably a brunette; I know your taste, Jasper. I can smell her all over you; that means you've nailed her. Didn't think you had it in you to fuck her without draining her. That tells me there's something about her, something special."

He was deep in thought for a couple of minutes and I felt his emotions shift from concern to surprise and then… giddiness? What the hell?

"It seems, my dear friend," he said to me, a huge shit-eating grin on his face, "it seems you have found your mate."

I was so shocked at his words I couldn't say a word. My feelings were mirrored by Charlotte whose mouth was agape, looking at Peter like he was the second coming.

"What?... How?... Fuck this," I finally managed to choke out.

"This can't be Peter," Charlotte voiced my thoughts, "mating only happens between vampires and she's human."

I was still trying to wrap my head around what he was saying. Isabella, my mate. I had to admit there was a certain pull between us, but to say she was my mate? That couldn't be true. Charlotte had once described to me what it felt like to be mated and this wasn't it. Peter's next words shook me out of my musings.

"If she turns into a vampire, she will be your mate."

Charlotte snorted. "Are your mad skills telling you that, Merlin?"

Peter snorted right back at her and turned to me. "I bet you are already planning on turning her," he said eyeing me intently. He knew I was hiding something big and I figured now was as good a time as any to tell them about the proposition I had made Isabella.

"Don't freak out on me," I started off and realized that was a bit of a mistake when I was hit with a wave of what I could only describe as 'freaking out'. After I had sent them a massive dose of calm, enough to keep them sort of sedated for a while, I continued. I told them that I had asked Isabella to come live with us for one year and that I would let her decide after that whether or not to join us.

To my surprise they handled it just fine. That had probably something to do with Peter's earlier statement about the girl being my mate and all. Suddenly I felt some resentment coming from Peter and I frowned at him.

"What were you planning on doing when she declines your offer to become a vampire? You can't just let her fucking live after that."

"I was hoping your wife might help me out with her gift if it comes to that." Charlotte had the amazing ability to wipe people's minds. She could erase single events or entire days, weeks or months. It was a gift we used regularly on a small scale, when a human witnessed something he shouldn't have, but not enough to get him killed. We were killers, not monsters.

"No!" Peter stated and I was shocked by his level of determination.

"Why not? It's not like we haven't used her gift before."

"Not like this. I won't have it."

"Peter, it's okay. I'll do it for Jasper," Charlotte interrupted softly while rubbing his arm in a soothing manner.

"No, you won't Charlotte. He doesn't understand. I'm not going to let you."

I was thoroughly confused by their exchange and my temper was starting to flare again.

"Would one of you tell me what the fuck is going on? What's the damn problem?"

They changed knowing looks which make me seethe even more, although I did manage to hold on to some semblance of control. In the end, it was Peter who started talking.

"When Charlotte erases a person's mind, the memories don't just vanish into thin air, Jasper. She absorbs them and they become her own. Normally that wouldn't be a problem, human memories are not that interesting, but this is something different. You are asking her to take in an entire year of a woman's life, a woman that will be deeply in fucking love with you not to mention you'll be fucking her deeply. I won't have that. My wife has been through enough."

He crossed his arms in front of his chest in a very unvampirelike gesture and I was quite sure he suppressed a huff. I did understand where he was coming from now. It would be pretty awkward if Charlotte remembered screwing around with me even if she didn't actually do it herself. On the other hand, I was absolutely certain it wouldn't come to that. Isabella would let me make her a vampire. Each second she was gone made the hole in my chest bigger and I couldn't help to hope it was the same for her. But what could I say to make Peter change his mind? He's fiercely protective of his mate, not to mention all out mister dominant when it comes to her. Luckily Charlotte stood up for herself for once. She walked up to me and took my hands in hers.

"I'll do it for you, Jasper, if it's what it takes to keep her with us for now," she spoke in that honey voice of hers that she normally reserved for her husband. "I wouldn't want you to give up on your mate to spare my feelings."

We looked in each other's eyes and I could feel her love for me flow freely between us. Still that didn't compare with the love that filled the air between her and Peter, when she went to hug him and for the first time in a hundred years I was jealous of them and wanted what they had.

The roar of the supercharged V8 engine of my Corvette alerted us to Isabella's return. The other two vampires stared at me in disbelief at the sound of the approaching car.

"You've lend her the Corvette?" Peter bellowed so loud the windows nearly shattered. "I don't even get to drive it and I have vampire reflexes."

I shrugged and went outside to the front porch to welcome Isabella. And to make sure those two fuckheads inside didn't scare her, not that I thought she scared easily. I told them to stay inside and I could feel Peter's anger while Charlotte tried to calm him down. I guess now I had to lend him the Corvette as well. Damn it. He was the least trustworthy fucker in any car, let alone with over 600 horsepower under his ass.

Come to think about it, it was kind of strange that I just let her take my car, my baby. I had never let anyone so much as touch it and now an 18 year old human girl was driving it? What have I been thinking? At that point I knew I should have been worried about my car, but I still couldn't be. That girl sure fucked me up alright.

She stopped the car right in front of me and I opened the passenger door to get her bag while she got out the other side.

"That was one smooth ride," she exclaimed enthusiastically, "I almost kept her for myself."

"Her?"

"A car as beautiful as that is definitely a girl," she smiled putting into words exactly how I felt about my baby. She walked round the car and when she came into full sight, I had to suppress a groan. Her ass was wrapped in a tiny jeans skirt which made her legs look like they were miles long and her black shirt was unbuttoned showing a red lace bra. That was certainly not helping my self control. I could already imagine her in snakeskin boots with my cowboy hat riding my cock. I must have been projecting a little bit, because her lust spiked as well and she practically attacked me again, just like she had done that first time we met. She jumped into my arms and thrust her tongue into my mouth. Had I been human, she would have knocked me over, but apparently she was quite comfortable with me being something entirely different. She wrapped her legs around my waist, wanting to get as close as possible and now I wanted nothing more than to take her on the hood of the Corvette, but I knew I couldn't. I heard Charlotte and Peter snicker at Isabella's eagerness from inside the house and I gently disentangled her legs and put her on the ground. She was pouting slightly and I bent towards her sucking her bottom lip into my mouth for a second before letting her go.

"Don't pout at me, darling. There are two friends of mine inside I want you to meet."

She nodded and breathed in deeply. I could feel some anxiety coming from her, but she didn't let it show and I admired her greatly for it. She smiled at me as I offered her my arm and together we entered the house. Peter and Charlotte were waiting in the living room. They were seated on the leather couch to give, probably to not come off as too threatening. The moment they laid eyes on Isabella I knew I was in deep shit. I was hit with a massive dose of lust coming from both Peter and Charlotte. They stood up from their seats and started stalking towards my girl. When I started growling they immediately stopped and looked at me apologetically.

Isabella realized something was off and I could sense her confusion about the situation. For her it had simply seemed like they were coming towards her to greet her and then I started growling like an animal. I had to tell her about my empathic ability soon, but I was afraid about how she would take it.

Peter was the first one to recover and he put forth his hand for Isabella to shake.

"Nice to meet you, my name is Peter," he said with a goofy grin.

Isabella smiled back at him warmly, shaking his hand. "Nice to meet you to, Peter. Jasper has told me a lot about you. I'm Isabella."

"Hmm," he answered, letting go of her hand when I started to growl again low enough for her not to hear, "that's a long name. I think I'll call you Bella. That suits you better."

She shrugged and then nodded. "Bella… I like it. You can call me that."

Next she turned to Charlotte who was still emitting a serious amount of lust towards her.

"Hi Bella, I'm Charlotte, Peter's wife."

They didn't shake hands, but just stared at each other in an awkward silence until Isabella leaned forward to hug Charlotte. It was the most insane move I had ever seen a human make towards a vampire and Charlotte was momentarily stunned. Then she returned the gesture and both women shared a long hug. When Charlotte sniffed my girl's neck and whispered how nice she smelled, I thought it would embarrass Isabella, but I was shocked to the core when she in turn sniffed Charlotte's neck. They broke their embrace and looked at each other curiously.

"You smell nice too, Char," Isabella said with a smirk and when I felt some lust creep into her feelings as well I'd had it. I threw her over my shoulder and rushed her off to my room before she had the chance to even notice.

"What the fuck, Jasper?" she cried out when I threw her on the bed.

"Shut up and listen," I growled at her standing at the foot of the bed. This was not the way I wanted to tell her about my gift, but it needed to be done now and I needed her to listen to me. She crossed her arms in front of her chest, but luckily didn't say anything. I could feel her temper rise though and I sent her a little calm which wasn't helping much.

"I need to tell you something, Isabella, something important." Way to go, Jasper, be overly dramatic.

She nodded and I felt her relax just a little.

"Some vampires have gifts, abilities, you could call them supernatural powers or something," I started, but then didn't know how to continue.

"So, you're trying to tell me you have some kind of gift?" she pried.

"Yes, I can sense people's emotions and control them too if I want to," I said waiting for the disbelief to kick in on her side. The girl surprised me again when I felt none of that. Instead, she was getting angry again, but not simply angry, she was seething inside with an intensity that slapped me right in the face.

"You knew what I felt all along and it took you this long to tell me?" she screeched so loud the glass in the window actually resonated.

"I wasn't planning on telling you so soon. I didn't want to spook you," I spoke in what I thought to be a soothing tone, sending her relaxing vibes.

"Stop trying to calm me down, asshole," she yelled again getting up from the bed. "Why are you telling me now?" she suddenly said in a much calmer tone, her anger turning into suspicion. When I didn't answer right away, she got right into my face and stabbed my chest with her finger.

"Is it because I thought Charlotte is a hot piece of ass?"

I growled and kissed her hard. She melted into my touch and all her anger and suspicion turned into passion. A passion that was only for me. She had never been sexier than when she called me out on my bullshit. I knew rationally I couldn't be mad at her for lusting a little after Charlotte; the woman looked absolutely incredible. But Isabella was mine and mine alone and when it comes to my possessions I'm a controlling bastard.

I slammed her into my bedroom wall and lifted up her legs so she could wrap them around me.

"You're mine, Isabella," I growled into her ear. She shuddered underneath me and the scent of her arousal permeated the air around me.

"Then claim me," she said huskily and at those three words I almost sunk my teeth into her neck. It took all my strength not to bite her and instead I ripped her panties off from under her skirt and I dropped my own pants. With one swift thrust I was sheathed inside and I started pounding into her relentlessly. I knew she probably would be sore all over, but I couldn't care and by the sounds she was making, neither could she. The amount of passion she was feeling was overwhelming and I kept sending it back to her amplified with mine. We reached our highs quickly and while I let out a feral roar, she screamed out my name in ecstasy. She was panting heavily when I slid out of her and put her back on her feet.

"That was fuckhot," she sighed. Then, she kissed me gently and walked right passed me.

"I need to take a shower," she said and walked right into the bathroom, leaving me standing in the middle of the room like an idiot.

"Get me some dinner, would you, I'm starving," she said with her back to me. She slipped out of her clothes and shut the door in my face.

This girl was going to be the death of me.

* * *

**AN: This has been a hard chapter producing, but it's finally finished. If things aren't perfectly clear, don't hesitate to ask. **


	5. Chapter 5 Damaged Goods

**Chapter 5 – Damaged Goods**

**BPOV**

Standing under the steaming hot water of the shower, I could finally feel the exhaustion settle in. I had been awake for 30 hours and hadn't eaten anything since lunch yesterday at school. It had only been about twelve hours since Jasper asked me to stay with him, yet my old life felt like it was already years behind me.

I reveled in the heat of the water that was enveloping me, letting it flow over my hair, my neck and my back. The warmth was a relief for the soreness from being slammed roughly into a wall by a vampire. Hell, I would have been sore if a human did that to me. But I didn't mind; it was a good kind of sore.

I was getting a little hot again when I thought about Jasper thrusting his dick inside me. What that man was able to do to me, I couldn't quite grasp. His dark and dominating nature was getting to me in a way no man had ever done before. Not that I was all that experienced. My previous relation with Edward started off as a story of a forbidden love between a high school junior and her young and sexy English teacher, but had rapidly developed into a nightmare. He had turned into a smothering, controlling bastard, alienating me from my friends and mother to the point I had only him left in my life. There had never been any physical abuse, but emotionally he had often turned me into a quivering heap with his snide comments and his arrogance. Of course he knew more of the world than I did; I was only freaking sixteen at the time. But somehow I had found the strength to break free of him and escape unscathed. It had made me stronger, an independent woman, and older in a way. From that point on I hadn't felt my age, not that I was jaded, I just didn't fit in with people my age anymore.

Thinking of my past, it was strange that Jasper had this effect on me and I was starting to question myself a little. What was I doing? The man was obviously fuckhot and he wanted me badly, I could tell that, but was I on the verge of repeating my mistakes of the past? Would he turn out to be just as controlling as Edward? I had said that I was his, but that didn't mean I was some sort of possession and I had to make that perfectly clear. On the other hand, Jasper's honesty was a part of what drew me to him, looking past the physical attraction. Where others would have sugarcoated, he told me what he was and what he had done even though at some point he expected me to run away screaming. And that was what made me decide to stay.

After about fifteen minutes, the water was turning cold and with a sigh I finished my shower. There was a large fluffy white towel waiting for me on the towel rack and I silently thanked Jasper. I decided to simply towel dry my hair and brush through it to get the remaining knots out. With the towel wrapped around me, I stepped back into the bedroom and found my bag with my only worldly possessions on the bed. Instead of going for the sexy look to drive Jasper crazy, I opted for something more comfortable this time. I put on a pair of washed jeans and a t-shirt. No bra, maybe I could drive him crazy a little bit. Bending over to get my jeans on turned out to hurt my back a lot and I took a mental note to go easy on it next time I felt the urge to be claimed.

I made my way downstairs carefully and went to the kitchen to get something to drink. To my surprise there was already a bottle of water, a glass and some ibuprofen waiting for me on the counter.

"Uhm, thanks, I guess" I said into thin air and I heard a chuckle from behind me. I turned around to see Peter leaning against the door frame, arms crossed in front of his chest, a slight smirk on his face. I took two pills and swallowed them down with the water, while I tried not to take my eyes of the vampire at the other end of the room.

"How did you know I'd be needing that?" I asked him as I hopped on the counter, cursing my bruised ass in the process.

"Well, I have this gift too," he started and sat down on the kitchen table. "I know shit. That's my special ability."

He looked so absolutely full of himself I couldn't help but burst out into laughter. "Bullshit," I said, when I had stilled the giggles, "you just heard us have sex earlier and must have thought I'd be feeling it by now."

He had looked offended at first, but then he started laughing himself. "Okay, you're right. I did hear you two and that's exactly what I thought. I was trying to impress you with my skills, but that seemed to have failed miserably."

When we were done laughing, I had to wipe away my tears and catch my breath. "No seriously, do you also have a gift like Jasper?" I asked him and then realized Jasper probably wasn't in the house. Where the hell was he?

"Jasper and Charlotte are shopping for food for you, just as you requested," he answered my unspoken question and I quirked my brow at him. "And to answer your real question, my gift really is knowing shit."

"What do you mean, knowing shit? Are you like a walking encyclopedia of something?"

"Not shit like that," he huffed and I had to suppress I giggle. I probably hit a nerve there.

"I can't really explain," he continued, "sometimes I know what's going to happen, sometimes things happen and I know why…" He stopped talking for a moment as if to gather his thoughts. "For instance, when Jasper brought you home, I immediately knew you would cause some major changes for the three of us. It just came to me."

I nodded. I thought I understood what he meant. "So you actually did know I'd be in pain when I came downstairs?" I asked and he smiled relieved.

"Yes, actually I did. But simply logic would have brought me to the same conclusion. So it's hard to explain how it works. I don't even know how it works."

I thought I understood what it was and I tried to shine my light on it. "It seems like you're extremely intuitive and have a knack for tying things together logically so that it seems to others that you have this uncanny ability. Am I right?"

"In part," he said and I could see in his eyes he was truly interested in what I was saying. "That explains part of it, but I already knew something was up before I even knew you existed. What's the explanation for that?"

"I'm drawing blanks now," I said and we both smiled. "Maybe you do have a gift. If vampires exist and one of them is some sort of empath, you can be Yoda, I don't care."

When I said the name Yoda, his whole face lit up like he was a kid in a candy store. "You and I are going to get along just fine," he said and somehow I knew he was right. Talking to him came natural to me and I felt at ease around him, despite the fact he could kill me any second to drink my blood. I really needed some time to adjust to the whole vampires exist thing.

Peter noticed I was getting uncomfortable in my current position on the counter and suggested we sat down on the couch in the living room. He was handing me cushions and a blanket to make me as comfortable as possible and it was really sweet and endearing. When I was all set up, he gave me a remote and opened a cabinet on the far wall that contained a gigantic flat screen TV. I started flipping through the channels as he settled down on the other end of the couch, careful not to disturb me.

--~--

I must have fallen asleep, because I suddenly awoke to the sound of voices coming from the kitchen. I opened my eyes and realized Peter wasn't sitting on the couch with me anymore. I sat up slowly and stretched my sore muscles. I could identify the voices as being Jasper and Peter's and I strained my ears to hear the conversation. They were talking too quietly for me to understand, but from the tone of their voices I could make out they weren't too pleased with each other. When I stood up from the couch, they abruptly stopped talking and before I had time to blink they were in front of me. That would take some getting used to.

"Go on, tell her," Peter said to Jasper. He looked extremely pissed off, while Jasper was fidgeting like a school boy. He was looking down at his feet, fists clenched by his side and I had no idea what all this was about. Finally, his eyes met mine and I could feel anger and guilt radiating towards me.

"Why didn't you tell me I hurt you?" he asked, but it sounded more like an accusation. I was momentarily stunned. Was this about him slamming me into the wall? As I was gathering my thoughts, Peter was shooting daggers at Jasper and I wondered what that was all about.

"I'm sorry I hurt you," Jasper blurted out and Peter gave him a nod, a hint of a smile playing at the corner of his mouth. He gave me a wink and then he was gone.

Jasper walked up to me and as gently as he could, wrapped me in his arms. Resting my head against his chest, I was suddenly aware that he didn't have a heart beat. He had told me before, but actually noticing it was kind of unsettling.

"Why are you angry?" I asked him.

"What do you mean?"

I took a step back so I could look into his eyes again. "Just now, when you first looked at me, I could feel you were angry and feeling guilty."

"I must have been projecting, sorry," he said, dodging the question.

"You haven't answered my question, Jasper," I said, maybe a little harsher than I intended and I saw the anger return in his eyes.

"I was angry with you because you hadn't told me you were hurt. Instead you sent me away and end up letting Peter take care of you."

"I'm sorry. Next time you do something that hurts me, I'll certainly tell you. And then you can clean up your own mess."

We stared at each other for a while, not saying a word, until we were interrupted by the growling of my stomach.

"Let's get you some food," he grinned and led me to the kitchen where Peter and Charlotte were already waiting for us. He squeezed my hand reassuringly and I knew he wasn't mad anymore.

"A sandwich or a hot meal?" Charlotte asked when I entered and I decided on a sandwich. I was going to go to sleep afterwards anyway, so a light meal would go better.

While I was eating my lettuce and turkey sandwich, I watched the three vampires in front of me. It was obvious they had been together for a very long time. Their every move was gracious and in perfect balance with the other two. At the same time the whole scene was a little disturbing, because certain of their movements were too fast for me to see and other times they were as still as statues. And the entire time Charlotte was babbling on and on about absolutely everything. She tried to include me in the conversation, but they were talking so fast about topics I knew nothing about, I just smiled and nodded.

When Jasper brought up the impending move, I started paying attention again. They were discussing properties that would be fit for human inhabitation, but were also remote enough to not raise suspicion about their vampire lifestyle. My only input was that I wanted to go some place warm. In the end, the choice was between Texas and California. Peter and Charlotte were in favor of California, because they could find enough scum in the major cities to sustain their feeding habits. Jasper had already shared with me that they fed on humans, but only on the sick and dying and occasionally on criminals. It still bothered me that they were talking so casually about the loss of human lives. On the other hand, you wouldn't go tell a lion to go eat grass or leaves or something. It was part of my decision to live with Jasper and I was going to have to deal with it.

Jasper preferred to move to Texas, since it was where he had lived as a little boy. He hadn't struck me the type as being sentimental, but during the argument that followed it was clear he wasn't going to concede whichever argument Peter brought up. The atmosphere in the kitchen was getting more and more tense as Jasper and Peter kept arguing. Jasper's posture changed from a relaxed stance leaning against the table where I was eating, to a rigid, military-like attitude that showed me the man he used to be. His eyes were hard and fixed on Peter, his voice deeper and full of authority.

"Fine, have it your way then," Peter growled in frustration, "we'll move to Texas."

Charlotte put her hand on his arm in a comforting gesture, but he shook it off, too angry to let his wife in. She had stayed out of the whole discussion and I realized they functioned with a strict hierarchy. Jasper was the boss, the Major; Peter was his second in command, able to offer his own opinion and Charlotte was a simple foot soldier; she would have to listen no matter what. This revelation made me wonder what my place would be. Charlotte seemed quite happy in her role, but there was no way in hell I was going to lose myself again for a man, even if it was a man like Jasper.

"Wow, Major, doesn't Charlotte have any say in this?" I said trying to stand up for her, but his reaction wasn't what I expected.

Jasper turned his head towards me very slowly. His eyes were dark and terrifying and I had to try my hardest not to look down at the floor when he looked into my eyes. In a blink he was towering over me, baring his teeth, while his hand had my jaw in a death grip.

"Don't ever call me that again, Isabella," he threatened through clenched teeth, "do you understand?" His hold on my jaw was extremely painful as he was waiting for me to answer. Everything in me screamed to tell him yes, but I didn't. I had been in this situation before and I knew my reaction would be crucial. If I didn't stand up to him now, I would never be able to in the future. And then I would end up like the shell of a person I had been with Edward. I really believed Jasper wasn't that person. He just didn't know how to handle a woman.

"Let the fuck go of me. Now!" I hissed and I registered the surprise in his eyes. He obviously wasn't used to people standing up to him.

"You are hurting me. Stop it."

He blinked once and then his grip loosened. Very slowly, as if it cost him a great deal of effort, he removed his hand from my jaw and instead he grabbed the edge of the table. I could imagine his fingers leaving red marks that would turn into purple bruises in a couple of hours.

"Damn, I'm sorry," he whispered when he saw the marks and I felt his sincerity when he looked into my eyes again.

"I never meant to hurt you, Isabella."

He closed his eyes and took a couple of deep breaths. When he opened them, they were back to their normal honey color with specks of red.

"The last man that called me Major had his head ripped off in less than a second," he said, like it explained everything, but for now I was glad with the apology.

"It's okay, Jasper," I said as I grabbed his hands. "It's okay for you not to like something I say."

He nodded at my words and seemed relieved.

"But don't ever fucking hurt me again. If you so much as lift a damn finger at me intentionally I'll be out of here so fast not even your vampire speed can stop me. I'd rather be dead than abused by any motherfucker ever again."

I didn't mean to tell him this much, but the words kept on pouring out of my mouth against my will. He looked at me in awe and surprised me by pulling me into a hug. Suddenly I was flooded with love and happiness and I knew Jasper was trying to cheer me up. The tears that I had successfully held at bay moments earlier were now flowing freely as I snuggled closer into his chest.

"I need to know I'm not making a mistake by giving up my life and coming with you," I sniffled against his chest. "If you're not the man I thought you were, I need to know now while I can still get out."

"I promise I'll try to be the best man I can be for you. I've always been a selfish bastard, but I don't want to be like that anymore." And as an afterthought he added: "And if I ever hurt you again, Peter has permission to kick my ass."

"Yes sir," Peter answered and he and Charlotte left the kitchen after giving me a wink.

That made me giggle and all my insecurities were washed away. Jasper was probably just as much damaged goods as I was and I knew I had to talk to him about why he had grabbed me, but for now I was content in his embrace.

When I looked up at him, I saw my feelings reflected in his face, confirming even more that I was doing the right thing. He kissed me softly to show me I had nothing to fear from him anymore. My body started reacting to him instantly and I deepened the kiss. It was hard to believe I wanted him again, but as his hands moved down my arms, I was starting to get wet again. He growled against my mouth and pulled me tight against him. His strong, hard arms against my back made me wince in pain and he backed away immediately.

"Fuck, did I hurt you again?"

"I'm fine. We're just going to have to find a position where nothing touches my back."

"Are you sure?" he asked, concern etched in his features. "We don't have to do it now. I'm not a sex addict. I can wait until you've recuperated."

I shook my head and looked around for another option. It would be easier on me if I had control so I lead him to the couch.

"Strip," I told him and he was naked before I had seen him move. Next time we did this, I'd have to teach him undress more slowly. I'd love to see him take his shirt off and see his pants slide down his hips. He sat down on the couch and watched me take my clothes off.

"Take your dick in your hand and start touching yourself," I ordered while removing my panties. It was incredibly sexy to watch him jerk himself off in front of me. But I couldn't wait to feel him inside of me, so I straddled his lap. Very slowly I slid down over his shaft, a moan escaping my lips when he was fully sheathed. We shared a sensuous kiss before I started moving at a gentle pace. He didn't try to take control once, but was groaning along with me pretty quickly.

I rolled my hips against him a little faster and I felt my orgasm approaching. My movements were getting erratic when he took over, firm but gently. I screamed his name as my climax washed over me, followed closely by a loud growl when Jasper came inside of me. He held me as I panted against his chest, utterly spent from the exertion and the emotional turmoil. I felt myself drift away, wrapped in his arms, his cock still buried in me and I realized I was as close to happy as I had ever been.

* * *

**AN: I apologize for any spelling mistakes, my beta is having some RL problems and I dedicate this chapter to her. **


	6. Chapter 6 Whipped

**Chapter 6: Whipped**

**JPOV**

As I lay on the bed next to this sleeping beauty, my emotions were raging out of control. I felt… happy, for the first time in my life, but at the same time guilt and disgust were eating away at me. Guilt for the pain I had caused her and disgust for the monster I was. At the same time, there was the ever present bloodlust, tearing through my dead veins. The need to consume her blood, that tasty blood, was overpowering now that she was sleeping. It would be too easy to just take a sip of her, scratch her flesh with my nail, producing a few drops and swipe them away with my tongue. I had done it before, that day in the school. While I commanded her to stay still and not look, I had made a tiny incision and drank greedily from her. Why I do it that way, I still don't know. I guess I like to play with my food. And it was a good thing I did, because I would never have kept Isabella alive otherwise. When I had caught her sneaking a peek at me while drinking from her, I felt her lust skyrocket. That confused me so much, I didn't kill her right away. And I ran. I ran for five days until I realized I had to see her again and confront that pull I felt towards her.

She was tossing and turning in her sleep, muttering what sounded like curses under her breath. I was in doubt whether to drown her in lethargy or shake her from her nightmare. In the end, I didn't have to make a decision. She threw her arm around me and relaxed instantly, her breathing evening out. Meanwhile the sounds from downstairs were getting louder as Peter and Charlotte were packing our stuff. We would be leaving for Texas once the girl woke up. Considering the amount of time she had spent awake, she would be out for a couple of more hours. I scanned her emotions thoroughly and when I was convinced she wouldn't have another nightmare soon, I disentangled myself from her embrace. The bloodlust was getting dangerously high, so I had no choice but to leave her and hunt.

Downstairs Peter was already waiting for me with directions where to go. I was still in doubt about hunting animals or humans, but he knew. Always fucking Merlin. He scowled at me like he knew what I was thinking, but he was no mind reader. He just knew how much I disliked his gift sometimes. Without a word I took the roadmap from him and saw he had marked a retirement home not far from here. Great, nothing better than drinking from some old hag that tasted like parchment. It couldn't be helped. I didn't have the time to scout a tastier victim without raising suspicion and getting back before Isabella woke up. I ran off thinking about what I would do with her beautiful body when I got back to erase the kill from my mind.

* * *

Sneaking into the home was no challenge. The nurse at the front desk was easily dazzled with my southern charm, I didn't even have to manipulate her emotions. What is it with middle aged women and young men? Do they really think there is any possibility of ever getting us into their beds?

I wandered down the halls, gauging the emotions coming from every room, until I found what I was looking for. I opened the door quickly and closed it again behind my back. Despair was thick in the air, mixed with a touch of acquiescence; the lady in this room was dying. Two bright blue eyes focused on mine with an intensity I didn't expect based in her emotions.

"I've waited a long time for you, young man," she croaked, her voice barely above a whisper. She lifted her hand a fraction of an inch, edging me closer. I wasn't really surprised; she probably thought I was her long lost great grandson or something. Like I could ever resemble a human.

"I didn't expect death to be so pretty," she sighed, taking my hand in hers. Now I was surprised. Did she know what I was?

"Don't look so surprised, son," she said with a smile. "When you've reached my age, you know when your time has come."

The irony of that statement wasn't lost on me, but I reckoned it would be easier this way. Her despair was already being replaced with acceptance and longing. I bent over her and looked into her eyes one last time. She gave me a small nod, like she actually knew what I was going to do and I sank my teeth into her neck. The taste of her blood was tainted with drugs and old age, but it was still better than any animal I could pick. It made it easier to stop before she was entirely empty. I sealed the wound with my venom – for which I needed her to be still alive - and waited for her heart to stop. This way, the scar would barely be visible and the doctors would feel no need to do an autopsy. Without a second glance, I left the room and the home and ran for my Isabella. The new blood coursing through my veins would keep the bloodlust at bay for at least two weeks, much longer than any animal could sustain me.

* * *

Driving in my Corvette seemed less comfortable for Isabella than anticipated. It was a sports car, made for speeding round a track, not for going at a snail's pace across badly asphalted roads. The suspension of the car was hard and every bump in the road rattled through her body. Not that she was complaining, but two hours in the drive, I could sense her discomfort. Her back was still hurting despite the painkillers and the way she braced herself at every sudden movement confirmed my suspicions. She was in pain. At the next gas station I pulled over and made her switch with Peter. His Range Rover would be far more comfortable than my car. And that way she could get to know Charlotte a little better. She didn't complain and I felt her gratitude. She kissed me lightly on the lips and sashayed away. She glanced back over her shoulder and saw me checking out her ass, just like she planned.

"You're whipped, man," Peter snorted as he punched me on the arm. "I like her," he added with a smile and I felt his genuine affection for her. He accepted her in our little coven and that meant a lot to me. The fucker smiled his knowing smile at me and I resisted the urge to deck him. Things were as they used to be. But why did I feel a tinge of jealousy when I saw Isabella get into the car with Charlotte?

I tried not to eavesdrop on the girl's conversation, but I couldn't help myself. And that bastard Peter wasn't helping either. He was listening just as intently as I was. Most of the time Charlotte was talking. She told Isabella where we had been living, what we did to pass the time, talked about what books she liked and which movies she wanted to see. It turned out they had a comparable taste in music and movies, but were kind of the opposite where it came to books. Charlotte was hung up on the classics, Shakespeare, the Bronte sisters, Austen and mostly romantic shit I greatly despised, whereas my girl seemed to have a more adventurous taste. A smile crept upon my face as she named some of all time classics like Dumas' Three Musketeers and Verne's Twenty Thousand Leagues Under The Sea. She even surprised Peter when she named his favorite book, Lord of the Rings.

What surprised me most during her conversation with Charlotte was her maturity. I knew she was only eighteen, but she could pass for a woman twice that age when you heard her speak. Peter noticed it as well and we briefly discussed it, wondering what life had thrown her way to make her like that. She'd made a slip yesterday when she mentioned being abused and we figured that might have something to do with it. The thought of some random guy taking advantage of her made a red veil drop in front of my eyes. Peter's cough alerted me to the fact I was speeding and gripping the steering wheel so tightly my fingers left impressions in the leather. I took a few breaths and relaxed as much as I could. Charlotte's next question made me stiffen all over again.

"So Bella, are you really eighteen? You sound much more mature than that."

She sighed and I felt her reluctance to share her story with Charlotte. That pleased me in a way, because I wanted her to tell me first, not Charlotte.

"Let's say I've experienced more of the world than most girls my age," she admitted. "Books and movies have been a way for me to escape from this world when I felt the need to. If I wasn't too much of a sissy, I would have done drugs or something, I guess."

That statement made me growl. The idea of her as a junkie was burning into my brain, but the thought of her needing drugs to escape from her life was even worse. I felt like murdering someone, I just didn't know who. But I was bound to find out eventually, of that I was sure now.

Charlotte had changed the topic to something lighter in the car behind us and she was asking the girl after her favorite food. It brought her mind out of the dark place she was in moments before and I could feel her emotions become a little less burdened. I did realize that some of the darkness that was present inside her wouldn't disappear overnight. And that darkness needed to be gone before I was ever turning her, otherwise she would be just as tortured as I was.

We drove at a record pace, covering the 2700 miles in les than 38 hours. We had to stop a little more than expected due to bathroom breaks, but we made up for it by speeding a little. Isabella spent the last leg of the drive in my car sleeping, utterly exhausted. She had tried staying awake chatting to Charlotte, but succumbed to sleep eventually.

"Wake up, darling, we're here," I whispered in her ear while unbuckling her seat belt. Her eyes fluttered open and she smiled when she recognized me, no fear present. She gave me a quick peck on the cheek and got out of the car. She stretched and I heard her sore muscles resist and her joints snap. The road trip had been harder on her than she had let me believe and that made me frustrated. I had asked her only two days earlier to tell me if I hurt her and here she was again, hurt. She must have realized what the look on my face was about, because she stepped up to me and gave me a hug.

"You really don't remember what it's like to be human, don't you?" she said and I felt an undertone of amusement. My perplexed expression made her laugh and she caressed the side of my face as she looked into my eyes.

"To be human is to be in pain, Jasper," she told me and there was pain in her eyes I couldn't erase. At the same time my dead heart leaped at the sound of my name on her tongue. Yes, I was whipped. Peter's chuckle at my realization irritated the crap out of me, again, but I let it slide. Once we were on our own one of these days, I would get back at him. For now, I had other things on my mind. For instance, showing this incredible girl that there was pleasure as well in being human. I scooped her up in my arms and rushed to my, no our room. I could unpack later, when she was asleep.

* * *

**AN: Sorry for the long wait. My beta's back on track though, yippie :). Hope you enjoyed it.**


	7. Chapter 7 Going Places

**Chapter 7 – Going places**

**BPOV**

The Texas house was beautiful, beautiful and huge. It consisted of one floor with two wings, in a U shape, with a courtyard in between. There were four patches of brilliant green lawn – how they managed that in the blistering heat of the Texan sun, I didn't know – divided by cobblestoned walkways in the form of a giant cross. Each path lead to a wing and the one facing south went towards the stables. In the center of the courtyard, where the walkways converged, there was a fountain almost big enough for me to swim in. It felt very medieval European and I was certain this would become my favorite part of the house. Except for the bedroom that is.

The whole west wing of the house was Jasper's and mine, a mirror copy of the east wing where Peter and Charlotte would be staying. There were two giant bedrooms linked by an ensuite bathroom. Both were decorated in warm earth tones with a king size four poster bed dominating the room. Jasper let me pick the room I wanted and I took the one with the antique wooden dresser perched against one of the walls. It reminded me of my late grandmother's house in Phoenix, the only place I had ever felt truly safe and loved. Strange thing to associate that with being in a house filled with vampires, yet I had this feeling Jasper wouldn't hurt me again.

Those first few days in Texas Jasper had been hovering. At first it was nice to have him around all the time, mostly because we had the greatest sex. There was want and lust, but not the all-consuming need that was present the first times we were together. It did wonders for my abused back and I discovered that slow and intense could be just as hot as quick and needy. I guess that's the first thing Jasper thought me and I was sure there was lots more to come.

After the second day the hovering had become extremely annoying. As much as I wanted to, I wasn't physically able to have sex all day. And talking with each other until dawn was exhausting. Especially when it was obvious we weren't ready to share everything. I hadn't talked about the abuse in my past and even though he never asked about it, it stood like a wall between us. Just like his outburst when I had called him Major. Any topic that could be remotely linked to it was considered taboo. At least for the time being. But I could let that rest for now; I was sure I would find out eventually.

The third day I exploded. Every time I made a move he was there. If I went to the bathroom, he wanted to know where I was going; if I scratched my nose he wanted to know what was wrong, food kept magically appearing every time my stomach dared to make a sound. Worst part of it was that it was all done in good will. But I couldn't take it anymore.

"Enough!" I yelled semi-hysterically when he wanted to throw out the coffee table I had accidentally bumped into. He stared at me with wide eyes, like a deer caught in a headlight.

"Stop treating me like a baby, Jasper, I'll survive it if you leave me alone for five fucking minutes!" I spat at him, harsher than I intended. His eyes darkened at my words and he put the coffee table back down very carefully. When I looked into his eyes, I could feel his rage and his attempts at keeping the bloodlust at bay. I tried to calm down for his sake, and my safety I guess, but his next words made my blood boil.

"Then don't act like an infant, Isabella," he said in that deceptively calm voice I had once heard him use with Peter.

"What are you calling me?" I shrieked and he flinched at the sound of my high pitched voice. "Are you calling me a child?" I walked up to him and started poking my finger in his chest, emphasizing my words. "Is that it, Jasper? Am I nothing but a child to you? Some innocent girl you can mould and shape like you want to? You know what that makes you? A fucking pedophile!"

During my rant, his eyes had become impossibly darker, but with my last sentence I had crossed a line. A low rumble erupted from his chest and my breath caught in my throat. Whatever he did to me now, I had only myself to blame. I prepared myself for the inevitable as my face became an expressionless mask and my muscles tensed. My eyes lost their focus and I stared at a point on the wall behind him.

Suddenly I felt his posture change. He stepped closer to me and grabbed my chin in his hand, forcing me to look into his eyes again. I nearly gasped when I saw they were much lighter than before, more amber than black.

"Listen to me, Isabella," he spoke very softly, "whatever you say or do, I am never going to hurt you."

He waited for the words to sink in and when they did my legs trembled underneath me and he wrapped his arms around me in support.

"I don't know which bastard fucked you up like this, but if he ever crosses my path, I swear I'll tear him up limb for limb."

His voice was cold, but passionate and the sincerity in it sent a shiver down my spine.

"I'm sorry I called you a pedophile," I whispered and he chuckled.

"I'm sorry I called you an infant," he replied and hugged me tightly. "You could've just told me you needed some space, darling," he said, caressing my hair.

"I didn't want to hurt your feelings," I said.

"And I didn't want to hurt you by leaving you alone in a new house."

I giggled at the utter stupidity of the fight and he laughed quietly with me.

"Some empath am I," he said after our laughter died down. "I could tell you weren't at ease and I just imagined it was this place."

"You couldn't know, Jasper," I sighed, looking back up at him. "I've been on my own most of my life, if it wasn't physically alone, it was emotionally. And this thing we have is the exact opposite. I just think I'm going to need some time to adjust."

He nodded and I saw the acceptance in his eyes. "I understand, darling. I wasn't expecting us to magically get along all of the time. This is going to take hard work, but I have this feeling it's going to be worth it."

I smiled, knowing exactly what he meant. I wouldn't call it love just yet, but we were going places…

* * *

After what we since then referred to as the coffee table incident, both Jasper and I were much more at ease. Turned out we were both very private people with limited need for company. It didn't bother me when all three of them went out hunting and left me by myself or when he and Peter took off to have what Charlotte called 'male bonding time'. That gave Charlotte and me the opportunity to have some girl time of our own.

I had felt from the first time I saw her that she had the hots for me, so to speak. The way she had looked at me almost screamed 'I want you!' and not in an innocent way. I thought she was a really attractive woman and if it weren't for Jasper, I might be game for some experimenting. But as things were, I wasn't even remotely interested and she sensed that just as quickly as I was on to her. We were both okay with that, so things never turned awkward between us. I did have this feeling though, that Jasper had a bit of a problem with Charlotte's emotions about me, although he never mentioned it to me. Probably didn't think I'd notice.

"It looks like you're miles away from here, Bella," Charlotte's voice shook me from my musings. I was lying on the edge of the fountain, feet immersed in the cold water, staring up at the sky, when she found me in the courtyard. I sat up and she sank down beside me.

"I was just thinking about you," I said.

"Good or bad?"

"Good, I guess." I winked and she stuck out her tongue. "I was just wondering how come it's never been awkward between us," I said and waited for her response. We had never openly discussed this and now the men were out bonding, we were truly alone for the first time. She thought about my question for a couple of seconds and then her expression changed into what I could only describe as an evil grin.

"I could make it awkward if I wanted to," she said in a low voice and leaned into me. Her hand came up to caress the side of my face and I shivered under her cold touch. She inched even closer to me until her ruby red eyes were all I could see. She stared at me without blinking and for a moment, I felt like I was drowning. I was drawn to her like a moth to a flame and I licked my lips in anticipation. My heart sped up and my breathing hitched as her eyes started turning darker. Every fiber in my being screamed to kiss her, but the thought of Jasper held me back. He was my lifeline that kept me from going under completely. Then she blinked and the spell was gone and we were just two women sitting on the edge of a fountain.

"You've made your point," I croaked catching my breath and she chuckled darkly.

"It isn't awkward, because we don't let it be," she sighed, "and that's something the guys won't ever understand."

I nodded and smiled wryly. I did understand it; I just wished she told me rather than showed me. I couldn't deny now that I was attracted to her as well.

"I'm sorry," she suddenly said interrupting my train of thought. "I shouldn't have done that. It is almost impossible for a human to deny a vampire, even if you're not attracted at first. I can't imagine the will-power it took you not to kiss me when I wanted you to."

"It was the thought of Jasper that stopped me," I admitted.

"That damned bastard, always messing with my mojo," she joked, but there was something in her voice that made me think she meant what she said. And suddenly I wished I hadn't asked her about the awkwardness.

We spent the rest of the day discussing nothing in particular and it was comfortable, just like it had been the first time we talked on the trip over here. Yet I had this feeling in my gut telling me that something had changed even though there were no signs.

Late in the afternoon, Jasper and Peter returned and they had remembered to bring me some food for later on. When they came into sight, I felt oddly relieved and Jasper shot me a funny look. I told him I was happy they had brought me food and he shrugged it away. I didn't know whether it was pent up frustration from Charlotte's little experiment or guilt for being attracted to her, but I practically dragged him to our bedroom. The need to have him was taking over and I wanted him to claim me again. And I knew it wasn't going to be gentle.

He was on to me immediately and grabbed me into a tight embrace as soon as we entered the room, kissing me roughly.

"Who do you belong to?" he growled while ripping off my shirt.

"I'm yours," I panted as he dipped his head to my breasts, sucking a nipple into his mouth. He knew I liked it when he bit down on them gently, but this time his bite made me moan in pain. He looked up at me and lowered my shorts and panties, without ripping them to shreds. Seconds later his own clothes were gone and he picked me up and threw me over his shoulder.

"Do you trust me?" he asked when he felt my surprise and I told him in a steady voice I did.

A rush of movement and a cool breeze on my skin alerted me we were outside. He laid me down on a cold stone surface in the light of the setting sun. He looked glorious in the dying light, sparkling like a diamond, his eyes blacker than coal, the red light made him even seem alive. Then I realized were I was, laying on the edge of the fountain. He knew. He knew and he was proving a point. I was his and this time he was going to make sure there was no doubt about that with Charlotte. And with me for that matter. I was surprised with myself that it didn't bother me more.

He knelt down next to me and spread my legs, one foot dangling in the cold water, the other firmly planted on the cobble stones. He kissed his way up from my knee over my inner thigh until he reached my center.

"I want you to scream tonight, Isabella," he whispered and sucked my clit into his mouth. The things that man did with his tongue and fingers were too much for me. I couldn't keep count on how many times I screamed his name in ecstasy. He didn't relent, gave me no time to recover, but kept on going until my throat was raw and my body was shuddering uncontrollably. Then he turned me onto my knees and bent me over the stone edge. He thrust his cock into me growling lowly. I surrendered completely as he pounded into me and hoarsely I screamed his name one last time as he came inside of me, his hands gripping painfully into my hips.

I was utterly spent when he scooped me up in his arms and carried me to our room. He gently put me down on the bed and covered me with a sheet. I was fluttering on the edge of unconsciousness when I felt his lips on my forehead. Next, I relaxed under a wave of peace and calm and slid into a dreamless sleep. The last thing I heard was his voice, softer than a whisper, but clearer than a bell.

"I love you, Isabella."

* * *

**AN: So, I hope this answers some of your questions about Charlotte (or maybe creates more?). If there are other things that you wonder about, don't hesitate to let me know. I'd also like to know what you really think of the for the love you give me, it means the world to me...**


	8. Chapter 8 Hunt

**Chapter 8 – Hunt**

**JPOV**

It took me three weeks of nearly constantly being in Isabella's presence to keep the bloodlust at bay. This was necessary for the next step in introducing her into the vampire lifestyle. I wanted her to accompany me when I was hunting animals and eventually when the three of us hunted humans. But for that it was absolutely essential that I wouldn't be tempted by her blood anymore. When we hunted most of our humanity was cast aside and we turned into the monsters we truly are. We embrace our darkest nature giving in to our vampire instincts, the instincts of a killer.

We used those weeks to get to know each other better and for her to get acquainted to Peter and Charlotte. She had an easy friendship going with both of them. They weren't the easiest of people, but neither was she, so in a way it was natural for them to get along. I still felt uneasy, leaving her alone with Charlotte, although their feelings never arose any suspicion. There was only that one time at the fountain. When I found them sitting side by side in the setting sun, the air had been so thick with sexual tension, I knew something had happened. Or nearly happened as I felt no guilt coming from Isabella, only from Charlotte. I had claimed her that night in a way that neither she nor Charlotte would ever forget. Peter helped as well by fully releasing his dominant tendencies on Charlotte and keeping her on a tight leash the next couple of days.

"Bella," I called and she smiled as I used Peter's nickname for her. She closed the book she was reading and sat next to me on the leather sofa in the living room.

"We've been talking a lot about what it's like being a vampire these past weeks," I started and she nodded. "You know what we are and what we prey on, but now it's time for you to witness it for yourself. I'm taking you out hunting."

"Oh fuck," she muttered in surprise. She was feeling nervous, as was expected, but also a bit apprehensive. "Animals of humans?" she added in a small voice.

"Animals."

Her apprehension changed into relief and she smiled. Her usual confidence returned and she looked almost cocky.

"I can hunt animals, vampire man," she said tauntingly. "I have been hunting deer with my father since I was six. Always treated me like the son he wanted me to be."

I was glad she had no problem with hunting animals, but she shouldn't go over it lightly. Going deer hunting was one thing, going on a hunt with a vampire was putting your life at risk. It was imperative she understood.

"Listen Bella, this isn't a field trip with your dad in bright orange jackets, a rifle and a six-pack. I'm going to unleash my inner predator in front of you, hoping I stay in control enough for you to survive."

Her smile dropped, but her confidence stayed. She trusted me not to hurt her. And damn me if I was going to betray that trust.

I woke her up in the cold hours before dawn on the day of our hunting trip. We would take Peter's car out to the Angelina National Forest area not too far from the house. Normally, when we went out hunting, we'd do it on foot, but I thought it would be more comfortable for Isabella to drive there rather than ride me. The only problem was that the drive would be much longer than the run, hence the early hour, which wasn't appreciated at all by the girl sitting beside me. She is definitely not a morning person.

She hadn't spoken a word to me after getting up. I learned the hard way not to say anything to her while she was in this state or I'd have a mighty bitch-rant slapping me in the face. I guess some humans were simply not made to get up before the sun's at least up for a couple of hours. The fact that we didn't need sleep and were therefore always 'cheery' – her words, not mine - appear to come up often while she was fuming, made Peter and Charlotte stay clear of her at least 'till noon. The three of us survived an entire week before we bought her a giant espresso machine which actually earned us a smile that morning.

I let her choose the radio station in the car as we were on our silent drive over a deserted highway. Her hands were wrapped firmly around a paper cup with at least a triple espresso as she suddenly turned back among the living, or at least talking.

"What are we hunting? Deer?"

"We aren't hunting anything," I said with a smirk. "I am hunting and you are going to keep at a safe distance."

She rolled her eyes at me, but kept silent.

"I'll be hunting elk, preferably a female that has had young already. We try not to put too much strain on the wildlife."

"Oh, well aren't you the genuine eco-warrior," she snickered at me and I realized her morning temper wasn't exactly over.

"My reason is much more selfish than that," I said, ignoring her tone for now. "If I take out too many of the healthy breeding males and females, the population is bound to drop. Any drastic changes are investigated by rangers and I really don't want that to happen. So I take the ones that are older or diseased."

"What do you do with the carcasses?"

"Bury them or drop them in a canyon, depending on the surface I'm hunting on."

"Sounds logical," she smiled and she squeezed my hand in an unspoken apology for the way she had talked to me moments before. These female mood swings, I didn't think I'll ever understand them. I just hoped they wouldn't carry on to her vampire life with her, since they had to do with me waking her up. Even so, I didn't think I could ever live without this woman again, flaws and all. I hadn't told her I loved her again after that one night when she was falling asleep, but I thought she knew anyway. And I started to feel it in her too. She was just as much lost in me as I was in her, she just didn't admit it to herself yet. And that was fine by me for now.

I drove to the most secluded part of the forest and carried Isabella for a couple more miles until we reached the right spot. There was a little clearing by a stream, covered in the scent of all sorts of animals. It was obvious they came here to drink and dawn was the most probable to catch them in the act. I helped her to climb in a tree to keep a safe distance from me. Of course I didn't explain it like that. She would argue I wouldn't hurt her, but I wasn't all too sure anymore. So I just told her she'd spook the elk if she came too close.

Safely on her tree branch, we waited. I kept still as a statue making sure I was downwind from where the animals were most likely to approach. Slowly the woods came back to life around us. It didn't take long for Isabella to get uncomfortable and she started fidgeting a little. She scared away a small fox and a couple of squirrels, but when a herd of elk came close she became absolutely motionless. That's my girl.

I singled out the elk I was going for and stooped into a crouch. Then at a speed faster than any living thing would be able to see, I pounced. As the other animals shot away in all directions in utter panic, I pinned down my victim. The creature was frantically trying to kick free, but all it did was hurt itself. I deliberately slowed my actions down so it would be all clearly visible for Bella. I pushed the elk on its side, exposing the long neck and jugular. The heart was beating erratically by now, pumping the adrenaline enriched blood around the body. Before I sank my teeth into its neck, I glanced up to where Bella was sitting only to see her nod at me, telling me she was fine with me killing it. I ripped through its fur coat and the flesh to find the artery. When the blood started pumping into my mouth, I forgot all about my surroundings. There was nothing but me and the animal. Its heartbeat was accelerating even more, trying to get enough oxygen to the brain, but failing. I kept swallowing and swallowing, spilling nothing of the liquid that gave me life as I was taking another. The heart was beating slower now and as the elk got colder, I got warmer, until I was so filled up I felt like I was vibrating. Like I almost was truly alive. But it wasn't enough. Drinking from animals never was. The predator, the killer in me was unsated.

Suddenly the wind shifted, wafting the most delicious scent at me. It was a scent I was very familiar with. I had been craving this fragrance for weeks. I wanted not just to drink this blood, but immerse myself in it, bathe in it. It would quench my thirst like no blood had ever done before, I was sure of that now. I got up very slowly and stalked my new prey, licking my lips in anticipation. My muscles tensed as I got ready. There was nothing in the world but me and this mouth-watering creature. I would dine in hell tonight.

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**AN: So my vacation is over, it has been great and I thought I'd give you all a little present. Sorry I didn't answer any reviews, but I thought you'd like a new chapter better. Enjoy!**


	9. Chapter 9 Surviving

**Chapter 9 -Surviving**

**BPOV**

I felt stupid sitting in the tree waiting for a goddamned elk to arrive. And after a few minutes I was getting extremely uncomfortable as well, the branch I was on was being wedged up my ass like a too small g-string. Not to mention it was fucking 5am and that one cup of coffee wasn't going to do. But I wasn't going to complain - at least not out loud. I knew very well why I was here. Jasper wanted me to fully comprehend what it was like being a vampire so if I chose to become one, I'd know exactly what my choice entailed. So I kept my mouth shut and my fidgeting to an absolute minimum.

To be honest, I was quite curious about how it was going to go. In my mind, Jasper hunting would be a thing of beauty, like a lion taking down a gazelle on the African plains. As soon as I noticed the herd of elk approaching I froze and kept my breathing as quiet as possible. Suddenly Jasper was gone and the animals started off in every direction. That's when I noticed he had moved and was now holding a struggling beast in his hands. He looked up at me and I nodded. I was too far away to see his eyes, but I could imagine their blackness and suppressed a shiver. For what happened next, it was hard not to avert my eyes. He buried his face in the neck of the animal and there was this tearing noise followed by a piercing wail coming from the elk's throat. I never knew an animal could make such a human sound. The wail was soon replaced by an even worse gurgling until it finally stopped. I considered myself glad Jasper's back was between me and the actual wound, because I was getting nauseous enough as it was. Hunting turned out to be quite different from what I had imagined.

When the elk was clearly dead, I scrambled down the tree to wait for Jasper to come to me. No way was I staying on that branch a second longer than necessary. I was trying to forget the whole terrifying scene before me by focusing on how perfect his ass looked in those jeans when his head abruptly swept in my direction. He stood up and walked over to me in a weird crouch and for a moment I thought he was trying to scare me. But when he came closer and I could see the blackness in his eyes, I almost didn't recognize him. All that was human in them had vanished, and only the animal remained. The fear I was supposed to have for him from the beginning was now gripping my chest like a vice. He was hunting me now.

My mind went into overdrive trying to figure out a possible escape route. I knew running wasn't an option and I doubted pleading with him would do any good. That was what any human prey would do. And that's when I knew I had to stop making him think I was his prey. I started trying to replace all the fear in me with lust. Gathering the lust wasn't that hard because he looked truly magnificent, like the warrior he was. I wasn't able to get rid of all of the fear, but it was enough to make him stop approaching me. There was a look of caution in his eyes for I did something no potential kill had ever done before. Before he had the time to push that caution aside and attack me anyway, I took off my sweater and shirt, remembering what he had said about his black eyes. Sex and blood are what make them look like that. So I hoped he'd choose the former.

I took off the rest of my clothes and slowly walked up to him, holding onto as much lust as I could. He was still frozen in the same spot, like a statue, eyes fixed on me. There was not a glint in them that showed any recognition, but I was still alive, so I went on. When I reached him, I dropped to my knees and unbuckled his belt. I unzipped his pants and pulled them down, taking his boxers as well. An ominous growl was coming from his throat, making my hands tremble as I took hold of his cock. I took all of him in my mouth at once and felt a shudder going through his body.

There was a whirl of movement and I was on all fours. Before I realized what he was doing, his dick was already fully buried inside of me. I had known this might happen since I thought of my plan, but it still hurt like hell, stretching me while I was unprepared. I tried to focus again on my lust for this man and pushed the pain to the background. I was so close to surviving now, and I wasn't giving up. His last thrusts were so powerful that my teeth clattered together. Then, it was over.

I didn't dare move when he pulled out, fearing his bloodlust might take over again. I was trembling slightly when I felt a soft caress on my back.

"Isabella?" he whispered almost too softly for me to hear.

Relief washed over me, replacing the fear, and it was more than I could take. My arms wouldn't support my weight any longer and I dropped to my stomach, sobs shaking my entire body. All the pent up fear, humiliation and relief came out at once and I could do nothing else but lie on the ground and cry. Jasper didn't try to replace my feelings. Instead, he turned me around and cradled me in his arms. He didn't speak a word and I was grateful for that, because there was nothing he could say at that moment that would make this situation alright.

When all of my tears were finally spilled, I took a deep breath and looked up into his eyes. The guilt, regret and surprisingly love that crashed into me were almost more than I could handle. I quickly closed my eyes, shutting it out. After a moment I reopened them, this time bracing myself so I could stand to look at him. I could hold his gaze, withstanding the emotions, knowing they were his and not mine. How it was possible for me to feel them in the first place, I didn't know, but I was glad I felt them for now I understood him a bit more.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I fucked up."

"I know."

"Maybe it'd be best for you to return to your old life and let Charlotte erase your mind," he told me, trying to keep his voice cold, but failing. "I'm too dangerous to be around. You should leave."

He averted his eyes and I could feel him tensing up around me, ready for me to speak the words that would separate us forever. He looked utterly lost; I had never seen him this vulnerable before and it awakened something inside of me. I was falling in love with this damaged, burdened, guilt-ridden man, despite what had just happened between us.

"No," I said, my voice steadier than I thought it would be.

He looked at me in surprise and in his red and golden eyes I saw what I needed to see. Love and hope. And in that moment, I knew my choice was right. I did love him as he loved me, and nothing else mattered.

There was no need for words. I didn't even have a clue what to say and I guess he didn't either. He picked me up very carefully and carried me to the car. He found a blanket in the trunk and draped it around me as he buckled me up in the passenger seat. We drove the whole way back in silence. About halfway through the drive I must have fallen asleep because I woke up as Jasper was carrying me into the bathroom. He had filled the tub for me and I laid thankfully in the hot water, relaxing my sore muscles. Sensing my need to be alone, Jasper had left. I hoped he didn't go far though, because we were going to need to talk once I was finished with my bath.

I found him on our bed wearing a fresh set of clothes, staring up at the ceiling. He sat up when I came in and motioned for me to sit next to him.

"I have no idea what to say," I admitted to him after a couple of minutes of silently staring into each other's eyes.

"Why don't you start with being mad at me for what I did," he proposed and I smiled.

"I don't think I can be mad at you for acting like what you are," I said sadly. "But I do understand what you are better now. And I kind of hate it."

"Yeah, me too," he sighed. He looked away in frustration, nothing like the confident cowboy or fierce predator I'd come to know. He lay down on his back and started staring at the ceiling again. I laid down next to him, in the crook of his arm, and we were silent again for some time.

"I don't know what to do, Jasper," I sighed after a while. "I'm in this fucked up situation where I want to stay with you, but the only way to do it is to become something I'm starting to hate."

"I'm sorry," he whispered, sensing all my fears, doubts and hate. And suddenly, I realized it didn't matter. All of the hate towards what he was, the doubt about staying, about becoming a vampire, it didn't matter. Because there truly was no choice. It was too late. I could never give him up again. I sat up and looked at him.

"Don't be sorry," I said. "I'm in love with you and I'm old enough to realize that loving someone means sacrifices. I just didn't think I'd be giving up my life and my humanity."

"I feel like such a selfish bastard right now, you have no idea. I love you too and want to keep you with me, but I never thought I had everything to gain and nothing to lose with what I was proposing."

I nodded. There was nothing I could say to that. But I didn't resent him for it and he felt it. I kissed him gently on the lips and he hugged me tightly. Were it not for the almost being murdered and the subsequent rape, it might have been the most romantic moment of my life. My life's fucked up. But at least I was with the man I loved. God, that sounded cheesy even in my mind.

I disentangled myself from him, because there was one more thing I wanted to discuss with him.

"There's one more thing, Jasper. No more secrets. We both haven't been entirely honest with each other and that ends today. We're both far more fucked up than we have been pretending to be and I can't take it anymore."

"You're right, darling. If you are ready to tell me about your past, I'm ready to tell you mine. Are you sure?"

I nodded and took a breath. I felt myself getting unnaturally calm and confident, the final nudge I needed for talking about my past. And then it just came out in one big rant. How I met Edward in class where he was my biology teacher and how he immediately showed an interest for me. He was the most beautiful man I had ever seen, but also deep, eloquent and well-read. Or at least I thought he was. I was so dazzled by his personality, I lost myself in him. He was extremely charming in the beginning, leaving presents in my locker, taking me out on harmless, romantic dates; simply doing everything to make a teenage girl fall in love with him. Nobody knew about us, since it was illegal, but I didn't care about that. I lost all of my friends, ignoring them until they wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He turned me against my mother, urging me to stay away at night to spend time with him, telling me she didn't have my best interest at heart, and that he did. He took my virginity after a very romantic date and at the time, I wanted nothing more. After that, he started to become more controlling and dominant. I wasn't allowed to have any hobbies, see any other people and he expected me to attend to his every wish. He never physically abused me, but the emotional abuse was what made me break free in the end.

Thinking back to all those times I had been living in utter darkness, it made me relive every mind-breaking moment. I wanted to keep talking, but I completely choked up. The worthlessness that had been the predominant feeling during those two years resurfaced and I felt like I was drowning. My breathing was coming in short, shallow gasps; a panic-attack wasn't far off. Instead of calming me down with his gift, Jasper took my head between his hands and forced me to look into his eyes.

"Breathe, Bella," he urged me and I wanted to for him. He told me that I was worth it and that I was beautiful and brave. I stopped listening to what he was saying; I just concentrated on his voice calming me down. And it worked.

"I think I'm okay now. Thanks." I felt a little embarrassed, but he quickly wiped that out with more confidence thrown my way.

"Why didn't you calm me down with your gift?" I asked curiously, thinking how much faster that would have been.

"This was something you needed to experience in order to move on. I'm here for you whenever you need me, but that doesn't mean I'm going to shelter you from every bad feeling there is in the world."

With that statement I knew he was back to his old self. It was crude, but honest, full of confidence and it showed me he cared for me. This and the confidence boost made it possible for me to tell the next part, the hardest part, the part that made me feel like I was a worthless whore.

"Fuck," I muttered under my breath and punched the pillow lying next to me. Jasper smirked at me, but I noticed him tensing up, as if to brace for impact. He really was in tune with how I felt.

"Okay, I'm just going to tell you straight out," I started. "I was his sex slave."

Jasper tensed just a fraction more and then nodded. I let out my breath and went on.

"He always told me sex was the only thing I was good at; that I could make a career out of it if I wanted to. He kept telling me how stupid I was and how I should thank him for staying with me and I believed it. And when he expected things of me I couldn't even imagine at that time, I felt like I had no choice but to obey. I had no friends, my mom had finally cut me off and there was simply no place for me to go. But still, if it had been like that all the time, I would have gotten out sooner. When he had treated me extremely bad, he went back to his charming old self, telling me how much he loved me, giving me presents, going out on romantic dates and I forgave him for everything. And then after a couple of weeks, he became a jackass again."

It felt good, finally sharing this, but it was hard not to feel ashamed of how naïve I had been. Jasper radiated understanding and love and that made me feel infinitesimally better.

"What made you finally leave him?" he asked. "Did he change for the worse?"

Concern edged his voice, and it was quite endearing, actually. All of a sudden, I was proud of myself that I had changed instead of Edward.

"No. One day my English teacher returned an essay to me and it shocked me. I had an A plus. It was a rewrite of the fairytale of Rapunzel, but instead of the prince coming to rescue her, he had locked her into the tower. She got away by cutting off her hair, making it into a rope and climbing down herself; not waiting to be rescued by a knight in shining armor. The teacher wrote as a comment that it was very well written, but a little too cynical for a girl my age. And then it dawned on me that I was that princess and the only way I would be able to get out was by doing it myself."

Reaching this stage in my story, I was finally able to smile and when I looked into Jasper's eyes, my pride was reflected back to me. All I had been through had made me stronger, the person I was today and there was no reason anymore to deny my past.

"When I got home from school that day, I packed my bags, called my dad to ask if I could live with him and I was on a plane the next morning. I've never seen Edward since and I've never felt so free."

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**AN: This chapter goes with a special thanks to my new personal grammar nazi mcruscito! Don't hate me for what I made Edward into, but I know you're all true Jasper girls at heart, so I hoped you wouldn't mind ;). **


	10. Chapter 10 War

**Chapter 10 - War**

**JPOV**

My anger had been slowly building again as I held my girl, waiting for her to fall asleep. So had my guilt for that matter. Of all the fucked up shit I had done in my existence, this was surely a winner. I almost killed the woman I loved and the only reason I didn't was because I took her, violated her, released my inner demon. How she could look me in the eyes again, I didn't know. If I were her, I would have ripped off my balls. But she didn't. She even told me she loved me. And now I felt like the world's biggest bastard.

Finally, she was asleep and with a gentle kiss on her forehead, I left her in our bed. Before I could tell her the rest of my history, I needed to ask Peter and Charlotte if I could tell the entire story, because it wasn't mine alone. Suddenly a thought popped into my mind and I rushed into their bedroom.

"Fucker!" I screamed at him as I grabbed him by the neck and smashed him roughly into the wall.

"You must have known something would happen on the hunt, jerk face," I hissed at him. "Why didn't you tell me?"

He was afraid of me, though he tried to hide that fact from his wife. The strongest emotion I sensed from him was regret though.

"I wished I had now," he croaked and I released my grip a little.

"Explain yourself."

"I knew things weren't going to go according to plan, but that you'd both be fine afterwards and that your bond would be stronger because of it. That's all I knew, I swear."

I released him when I felt his sincerity and I half expected a punch in the face for grabbing him like that. Instead, he put his hand on my shoulder and squeezed it.

"It was only after you had come home, projecting that kind of guilt and self-loathing, that I put the pieces together. I know now and had I known before, I never would have let the girl out of my sight. I'm sorry."

I couldn't answer him right then. I was trying my very best not to get swallowed by darkness again and going on a killing spree. Peter knew me too well and stood by me, holding onto my shoulder, restraining and supporting me at the same time. I was clinging to the love I felt from Charlotte and him, the love I knew Isabella had for me, and very slowly backed away from my inner demon. It was probably one of the hardest battles I had ever needed to fight: the battle with myself. For ages it didn't even seem like I was winning until I realized I had been standing there for hours and hadn't killed anyone. In the next couple of hours I was able to push the murderous rage far enough into the background for the guilt to take its place again.

"Go tell her our story, Jasper," Charlotte finally said and gave me a peck on my cheek.

I went back to our room to find Isabella on the verge of waking up. This next part I was dreading most, because this could be the deal breaker. If she couldn't cope with this, the people we used to be, then she would be gone forever. And I had come so close to losing her already, I felt like a prisoner on death row, walking the last hallway towards the gas chamber.

I sat down on the bed as gently as I could, but she woke anyway. Surprisingly, there was a smile on her face when she saw me. She stretched and turned to her stomach, mumbling to fuck off or at least get her some coffee. She certainly seemed to be alright. I hurried to the kitchen, made a quadruple ristretto and went back to my girl. The aroma of the coffee made her stir again and she sat up, silently taking the cup from me.

"So, I guess this is the time where you tell me all about you?" she half asked and her grumpiness made way for her curiosity. There should have been some form of apprehensiveness coming from her, but all I felt coming from her was complete trust, which made it a little easier for me to start talking.

"Peter, Charlotte and I escaped Maria in 1910 and wandered around the United States for a bit. We were restless nomads, always looking for something we couldn't find, wreaking havoc on small communities, turning them into ghost towns. We had a blast during the first part of the Mexican Revolution, but still the restlessness stayed. Until in 1914, when the Germans invaded Belgium and France and World War I started. We set sail on a ship to Britain and enrolled in the army. The trenches of Flanders fields were a feast for us hungry vampires."

After that statement, I stopped talking and waiting for her to freak out. I was well aware that patriotism was a rekindled emotion since 9/11 and the tolerance for feeding on soldiers would be very low. A few minutes of silence changed nothing about her emotions, rather than make her a tad uncomfortable. I began wondering if she understood what I had said.

"Do you understand what I'm saying Isabella? The three of us pretended to be soldiers and massacred entire platoons of our supposed to be fellow soldiers."

She nodded slowly and then surprised the hell out of me by reciting a poem.

"In Flanders fields the poppies blow

Between the crosses, row on row

That mark our place; and in the sky

The larks, still bravely singing, fly

Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the dead. Short days ago

We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow

Loved, and were loved, and now we lie

In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:

To you from failing hands we throw

The torch; be yours to hold it high.

If ye break faith with us who die

We shall not sleep, though poppies grow

In Flanders fields."

She sighed and produced a sad smile.

"This is the only poem I know by heart. We learned it in our history class last year and it kind of stuck. I don't know much about the First World War, but what I do know is that the trenches were the last place you would want to be. And I'm pretty sure that what humans did to other humans was far worse than what you did to get fed. So unless you're still doing that, don't expect me to run away screaming."

I was momentarily baffled by her little monologue, but then I remembered how well she had taken the first part of my history. I probably should have expected this kind of reaction. But then again, I had dismissed her easy acceptance of my past as a reaction to my dazzling vampire exterior. Guess I was wrong.

"So why do you hate being called Major? It seems like that was all a good time for the three of you."

"That's because my story wasn't finished," I answered her and went on with the tale. "After the treaty of Versailles, we went in search of other wars and armed conflicts around the world. It was like we were made to live in war zones, pretending to be mercenaries or regular soldiers, but always turning on the men who put their lives into our hands to survive. I led Peter and Charlotte through Africa, Eastern Asia and China and we were never hungry. They called me Major after my old title in the Civil War and I loved it. Our army of three couldn't be defeated and we felt freer than we ever had before.

We returned to Europe when the Spanish Revolution broke out in 1936. Meanwhile, something was stirring in the rest of the continent, with Hitler and Mussolini both in office. A storm was coming and we were determined to be in the middle of it. By the time the war started we were in a frenzy. We fought for almost every country; we were even part of the resistance in Holland for a short time. And when the attack on Pearl Harbor forced the US to join the war, we could even fight for our own country. We traveled all over the world searching for the war's hot spot to maximize the number of humans we could drain. But sometimes I needed a break, so we spent some time apart in big cities that weren't affected by the war. And by an incredible coincidence I found myself alone in the city of Hiroshima on August 6th 1945."

She gasped when she put the pieces together and I felt her anxiousness spike.

"You mean," she stuttered, "you mean you were actually there, right there, when they dropped the bomb?"

I nodded.

"I very nearly got incinerated. Luckily I wasn't in the central blast area. You see, heat alone doesn't hurt us; we need the presence of a flame to burn. It is the venom in our veins that burns, not our skin, and that's what saved my life, or rather my undead ass. But I saw first hand what it did to the humans and although I had been a ruthless killer for most of my existence, I couldn't take it. I was so utterly disgusted by the whole thing that I shunned the whole human race for a decade and still want nothing to do with anything army related."

"So you switched your diet to eating animals and you get mad when people call you Major," she summed up my story, her feelings radiating nothing but understanding.

"I'm not that man anymore and I don't want to be. I don't feel sorry for what I did during those years and I'm certainly not trying to atone for it. I'm just different now, but still very much a vampire."

"I understand, Jasper, I do. I like you for the person you are and I'm not going to try and change you. And as long as you're honest, nothing will stand between us."

As soon as she said those words, a huge weight was lifted off my chest. I hadn't even realized it was there.

"I like it when you smile like that," Bella said suddenly and I was surprised by how happy she was. My smile only got bigger.

"Don't say stuff like that, Bella. I'm a badass vampire and I have a reputation to uphold."

She swatted at me playfully and I pushed her against the headboard of the bed, placing light kisses on her neck.

"I'm sure you're still a creepy motherfucker to any human other than me," she assured me and wrapped her arms and legs around me. I had to remind myself she was still sore from yesterday, but that didn't mean we couldn't have some fun.

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**AN: Sorry it took so long, Jasper's POV is always harder for me to write. Thanks to mcruscito for beta'ing and a get well soon to my regular beta Kaitsa.**


	11. Chapter 11 A Chance Encounter

**AN: First of all, sorry for the wait. This was a complete update fail. Second, go read!**

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**Chapter 11 – A Chance Encounter**

**BPOV**

"Tell me what you're thinking."

"Why?"

"Because I want to know everything there is to know about you."

"Wow, that's just…"

"What?"

"Way too cheesy."

"No, seriously. Your emotions are all over the place and I can't make sense of them at all. So, please tell me what you're thinking."

I should have known not to keep anything from Jasper, but I really didn't want to hurt his feelings.

"You're not going to hurt my feelings as long as you tell me the truth, darling."

"Okay, now that's just creepy."

He grinned at me and I realized I could tell him everything. Compared to what we shared last month, this was almost trivial. But I still felt a little bad. Basically, my life was perfect. And that irked me. I was starting to get uneasy and bored. Uneasy, because I expected something to go wrong at any time, fucking up my life. Bored, because there wasn't much I could do. I didn't work, didn't go to school and I sure as hell wasn't doing any housekeeping. Spending my days in the sun, having sex, reading, watching DVDs – although fun at first, it was getting tiresome. Now, I had to find a way to phrase all this without coming off as an ungrateful brat.

"You know I like living with you here," I started and he nodded, not sure where I was headed.

"You've given me anything a girl could want, but frankly – and I never thought I'd ever say this – I'm bored."

"Bored?"

"Maybe that's not exactly the right word. It's more like I feel purposeless. I don't feel like I'm actually living."

I expected him to be irritated or even a little angry, but he just started grinning.

"I'm so glad you said that, 'cause I'm going fucking crazy being locked up in this place."

Then his face turned grave and his expression seemed pained.

"Does that mean you are bored of having sex with me?" he softly asked.

For a moment, I didn't know what to say. Of course I wasn't. But I was human and having sex with a vampire could be quite draining – pun intended. But when I looked into his eyes, I felt tiny bits of amusement sipping through his façade.

"You bastard," I said laughingly and pushed him roughly. "Stop messing with my head."

"I can't help it. You're such an easy victim."

We were both laughing out loud by now, and I was happily surprised with how our relationship had evolved. It had started out all intense and mysterious, but ever since we came clear with each other, it had been easy. Our silences were comfortable and conversation came naturally. I had been thinking my being bored would fuck everything up, so I was immensely relieved to hear Jasper had been just as bored as me.

"So what do vampires normally do when there aren't any humans around?"

"Actually not that much," admitted Jasper. "Our main pass time is hunting. The three of us used to take extended hunting trips every couple of weeks. Peter and Charlotte need to feed less than I do, because they only live off humans. Since I've started draining animals I need to feed almost every week, as you've noticed."

I had noticed him feeding more than Peter and Charlotte, but I had always thought that was caused by his close physical relationship with me. I never once considered he was doing his body short by living this way.

"Killing animals every week is quite taxing for the local wildlife, so normally I travel with the others to the city they're visiting to check out the surrounding fauna. I try to vary the hunt as much as I can and that takes a large amount of time. And I like playing with my food a bit, of course."

"Of course…" Since witnessing him hunt, I knew how messy it could get and thinking about him playing with his food weirded me out a little.

"Okay, so normally you spend a lot of time hunting, I get that. But what else do you do? Don't you want to _do_ something with your life?"

"You're still so young," he said with a sigh, "I tend to forget that."

That comment had me perplexed for a minute and I didn't know whether to feel insulted or complimented.

"I didn't mean it like an insult," Jasper quickly added. "You are young and idealistic and I should have thought about that earlier. You probably had plans before you met me and now you've thrown that all away."

That was true, actually. I tried not to think about it too much, but ever since I had gotten away from Edward, I had planned out how my life was supposed to look. Even though I hated high school, I was determined to finish it with good grades and apply to colleges. I saw college as my escape from all the misery and small-mindedness I had faced in school. I didn't care if I had to work my way through it, I had been very resolute about college. My mind wasn't made up yet about what I was going to study, but I had been thinking about social studies, putting my own experience to practice.

While I was contemplating the future I had abandoned, Jasper could sense my melancholy mood and he wrapped me into a tight embrace.

"I know college isn't an option right now," I said, laying back down on the bed. Jasper came to lie next to me on his side, waiting for me to speak my mind.

"It's just… College has been the plan since forever. And now I don't know what to do."

"What did you want to do after college, besides getting a job?"

"I don't picture myself as the child bearing type, so I wasn't planning on settling down. I guess I wanted to see the world, go to exotic places, and travel Europe or something."

"We'll start with the traveling then," he said immediately with a big ass smile plastered over his face.

"What?"

"There's no reason we can't travel right now," he started explaining. "We could go anywhere you want, as long as we don't come into the direct sunlight. So what do you want to see first?"

I was speechless. I never once imagined having enough money to travel any place I wanted to.

"Well, I've always wanted to visit Yellowstone," I admitted and Jasper's smile became wicked.

"Excellent choice. The wildlife is sublime."

"Hey, we're not going there to hunt. We're going to be tourists. I want to see the geysers erupt and I want to see bears and bisons and wolves and…"

Jasper's lips were on mine, stopping the word flow that was erupting from my mouth very efficiently.

"We'll do all that stuff, as long as you shut up now and pay some attention to my dick."

I had to admit I loved it when he talked to me like that and for the next hour, there were no geysers or bears on my mind.

As the four of us were making the necessary arrangements to go on a holiday, we realized there was one detail we didn't pay attention to: the weather. Summer in Yellowstone is short and we had to wait a couple more months before it was warm enough for me to visit. Instead, we decided to go on city trips to keep ourselves busy. I don't think I had ever seen the inside of a museum outside of school and I loved every minute of it. I even started making lists of museums in Europe I had to visit.

Jasper was clearly amused by my enthusiasm, but in the course of these months, I felt him becoming uneasy. His moods were getting darker and he was more demanding sexually. He was turning more and more into the dark, military looking man I had met months ago. I didn't know how to talk to him about it, and eventually asked Charlotte when we were alone in my hotel room.

"He's having trouble being around so many people," she told me after a moment's hesitation. If I hadn't caught that moment, I would never have pressed on, but I had a suspicion there was more to it. I looked into her ruby eyes and held her gaze. She looked away after a couple of seconds and that was all the confirmation I needed.

"Tell me, Charlotte," I demanded, pretending to be more confident than I felt.

She sighed and in a very human gesture sank down on the bed.

"It's time for him to hunt a human again, but he's afraid he'll scare you away."

She took my hand in hers as if to prevent me from making a run for it. "You have to understand this," she continued, "The animal blood is a poor substitute for the real thing. It keeps him alive, but never satisfied. And now, being around you, it is becoming extremely hard for him to ignore his urges. He expected the bloodlust to stay away, since he became accustomed to your smell. But in the last few weeks it's been returning – I guess because his last human kill has faded from his system."

Hearing this, some events of the past weeks began making sense to me, especially his increased libido. I had seen Jasper's eyes darken more often around me, but I didn't link it to his bloodlust. And he had camouflaged it very well by turning it into regular lust like before. At that moment I couldn't believe I didn't realize what was happening. I'd have to talk to him about this as soon as he got back with Peter.

The talk didn't go over well, later that day. Mostly because I had to stop Jasper from attacking Charlotte for spilling the beans to me. He was blazing and raging on about how it wasn't her place to tell me and that he was in charge and she had to listen, when I just couldn't take it anymore.

"Shut up!" I screamed at him and ran to the bathroom to calm myself down. I didn't want to snap like that, but he was becoming a little too dominant and self-centered to be comfortable around him anymore. It brought back too many memories of the past. I sat down on the closed toilet seat, put my head in my hands and tried to control my breathing. There was no way I could calm Jasper down when I was on the brink of breaking down myself.

He knocked softly on the bathroom door, but entered before I could say anything. He sank down on his knees in front of me and wrapped me in his arms.

"I'm sorry. I'm a dick," he whispered and I instantly felt better.

"And I'll always be a dick," he added.

"Probably," I said, looking up into his eyes. He grinned, but I could feel the sincerity of his apology. Not that I thought it was never going to happen again. I'm not naive. He has been on his own, the leader of his coven for almost a century. It took more than a pretty face to change him, and I was well aware.

After that, we formulated a plan. He was going to hunt a human, but I had some rules. Based on our first encounter, I knew he liked hunting young girls and toying with them for a while. That had to stop. I could live with him preying on old and sick people and even criminals, but his seducing days were over. He had me for that now. The final condition was that I couldn't notice. I didn't want to know when, where, who or any other detail. I tried to convince myself that in that way, I wouldn't have any part in the killing of a human being. Of course that didn't keep my conscience from acting up. I was still human after all.

Despite me not wanting to know about 'the hunt', I knew immediately when it had happened. We were in Philadelphia at that time, not because there were so many things to visit, but because our plane needed to make an emergency stop. On our flight from Washington DC to New York, an elderly man had a heart attack. By the time we were ready to move on, the sun had been up, burning brightly in a cloudless sky. Jasper didn't want to take the risk of being exposed, so we forfeited our seats and booked a hotel room.

Unfortunately for us, there weren't any places available for the next flights to New York, so we were stuck in Philly for two days. And it was the second day when I woke up that I knew he had done it. His skin felt almost warm when he slid in bed with me and when I looked into his eyes, the red was winning out over the gold. He didn't speak a word and kissed me roughly, rolling on top of me. His arousal was very prominently pressing into my stomach as his kisses got more intense. He quickly tore my panties from me and started rubbing my nub. The feeling he needed to claim me was almost oozing from him and against all my instincts, I submitted completely. He reacted to my surrender immediately by thrusting into me. His moves weren't gentle by far, but he locked eyes with me and his love for me was obvious. He flipped me over to my hands and knees and entered me from behind. This way he could pay attention to my clit and within minutes he had me screaming his name. My release triggered his own and shivers ran down my spine as he growled: "You are mine."

Afterwards, he was very sweet. There was no need for words; we both knew what had happened and were fine with it. We took a shower together and he rubbed my shoulders and back. We shared long kisses and when my stomach started protesting, he even took me out to eat instead of ordering room service. We found the cutest little diner, decorated like it were still the fifties and I ate the best burger I ever had. The picture was perfect.

It wouldn't have been my life if it didn't get fucked up right that instant. I was sitting with my back to the door, when I noticed Jasper stiffen.

"Two vampires just walked in," he said casually, knowing full well that whispering wouldn't make a difference.

"Are they hostile?" I asked, hoping Jasper could get a good read on their emotions. He shook his head and I let out my breath.

"They're coming over here. I'll do the talking," he said and stood up to greet them, shielding me with his body.

"Jasper Whitlock," a high pitched voice sounded, belonging to a tiny woman with spiky dark hair. "Do you have any idea how long I've been waiting for you here? We're going to be so happy together."

Jasper went rigid at her words and withdrew his hand from hers. I, on the other hand, was livid for her disregard of my presence and got up from my seat to tell her to get the fuck away from my boyfriend, vampire or no vampire. That's when I saw the man standing behind her and the words got stuck in my throat. My mouth went dry and I had the overwhelming urge to run away.

"Edward," I whispered.

"Hello Isabella," he greeted me, his velvety voice more beautiful than in my memories. I wished I could have fainted right then and there, but my body kept functioning. I couldn't tear my eyes away from his face, which had gained an ethereal beauty, like a statue carved of marble. I couldn't make out the color of his eyes, but I'm pretty sure they weren't green any longer. As the first shock of seeing him was wearing off, fear and rage were battling inside of me. I realized I harbored so many unresolved feelings; I had no idea whether I wanted to kill him, beat him to a bloody pulp or run away screaming. So I did the only thing I could think of, which was ignoring him. I sat back down and finished the last of my fries.

* * *

**AN: Thank you all for sticking with my story, I know I'm a louzy updater. And a big thanks for nominating this story for an Immortal Sins Award from the Darkest Temptations blog. Yeah, that's right, I've been nominated in the category of Best Darksper. So please go vote for my story on darksper (.) blogspot (.) com and check out all the other wonderful categories and stories. **

**Also, sorry for the the cliffie. I promise the next chapter is already on its way. **

**Last, thanks to mcruscito for performing beta duties despite her busy schedule. **


	12. Chapter 12 Alice

**AN: Again, sorry it took me a while to update. Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 12 – Alice**

**JPOV**

I was perplexed by the tiny woman's words. How the hell did she know my name? And did she just say she had been waiting for me? From her emotions, I got a suspicion that she was a crazy person. There was so much flying around in there, hope, trust, fear, even love, topped off with a giant dose of excitement, almost drowning out everything else. Her eyes shone brightly gold and that was utterly surprising. I had never heard about any other vampire feeding on animals but myself. And I only stumbled upon that by accident. She was watching my reaction to her eagerly, apparently waiting for something specific that never came, because a felt a sharp stab of disappointment through the shroud of excitement.

Meanwhile, I was so wrapped up in dissecting this person before me; I only vaguely registered Bella jumping up in my defense. My attention turned to her abruptly when I noticed her protectiveness turning into massive amounts of fear and hatred. I spun around quickly so I could look at her. She stood utterly frozen in mid-movement, staring behind the crazy woman. Her eyes were locked with the male vampire and I heard her whisper the name Edward. When he said "Hello Isabella" the burst of possessiveness I felt coming from him was overwhelming and I suppressed the urge to rip his head off. If we hadn't been around humans, I probably would have. It would reattach… eventually.

Through that whole exchange crazy-person had been practically jumping up and down in excitement. She was the only one who wasn't surprised and I was beginning to think she had foreseen this whole encounter. Her feelings towards this Edward man were full of friendship and pride, but there was a fuckload of resentment present towards Bella and I had no clue what that was about. I would have to protect Bella just as much from the female as from the male. My mind was going into overdrive trying to think of a way for us to get out of there. Again, the presence of humans was a drawback. I had no doubt in my mind I could take on both of the vampires together.

Out of the blue, I felt Bella repress her emotions and she sat back down, ignoring the new arrivals. I decided we could best try to pretend to be human and I sat down next to her, my arm draped around her shoulders to show she was mine. The male growled slightly at my possessiveness, but quickly regained his composure. Both vampires sat down in the seats across from us, now more uncertain of themselves by Bella's strange behavior.

"Talk." I ordered them harshly and the woman's excitement was finally piping down now she realized I was in charge.

"Well," she started, "I'm Alice and this is Edward."

As she spoke his name, Bella stiffened in my embrace. She inhaled and exhaled slowly, while poking at her hamburger, absently stuffing fries into her mouth. I knew her former boyfriend/abuser was called Edward, but this couldn't ever be the same person. They had been apart only a couple of months and back then he was human, otherwise she would have known. This man was far more in control of himself than any newborn I had seen in my very long life and that was saying something. His eyes were bright ruby though and kept shifting back to Bella's face. I pressed her closer to me and stared the motherfucker straight in the face. As he felt my eyes on him, his anger flared briefly, but then he focused on the crazy woman, Alice, and she started talking again.

"I'll give you the short version," she said in a voice that was lower than I expected of such a small person.

"I'm a psychic and I have visions of the future. In the forties I had a vision of us meeting here in this very diner some time in the future. I saw us becoming very happy together. But then something major happened and the vision changed and you never came. Eventually I picked up on another vision of you showing up here, but I had no idea how long it would take. So I waited. I've been waiting for almost 60 years."

The sadness she felt was sincere and for a moment I felt sorry for this person, for throwing away her life waiting for someone who _might_ show up. The next moment her sadness was erased by her overpowering giddiness and I tried to shut her out fearing I might start bouncing in my seat myself.

"About a year ago, my visions changed," the little woman continued and again I felt resentment towards Bella.

"I saw you showing up in the diner in the very near future, but you were not alone."

She shot a meaningful glance at Bella who tried to ignore our two companions, but was listening intently to every word the female vampire spoke.

"I began searching the future for ways to make you come with me without the human tagging along," said the woman.

Bella went completely rigid by my side and her fists clenched. Her head shot up and I had to hold her back, or else she would have attacked the vampire over the table. Unaware of what her words evoked, she spoke on.

"That's where Edward comes along. I saw very clearly that if he came with me…"

"Shut the fuck up!" Bella screamed at the vampire. "Don't you fucking say another word."

Her outburst was so furious it stunned Alice into silence. Frankly, it stunned all of us into silence.

She turned to me and spoke in a strained voice: "I need to get away from this place, Jasper. Now!"

I stood up and let her pass me, positioning myself between her and the two vampires. A cold hand grabbed my wrist and prevented me from following my girl outside.

"Give her a moment," the female vampire spoke gently. "It's a lot for her to take in. She'll be fine in a minute."

I saw the reason in her statement and nodded. The touch of her hand was oddly soothing and I suddenly realized I held some sort of affection for this crazy vampire. The moment we were having vanished abruptly when I noticed the male vampire was gone. I caught a glimpse of him leaving the diner and a feeling of dread washed over me. I wanted to run after him, but couldn't risk exposing myself to so many people. The couple of yards from where I was standing to the exit seemed to last a lifetime, all the while the sensation in my gut was telling me something was terribly wrong. I cast my senses out to search for Bella, confirming my worst fear. She was gone, I couldn't feel the slightest trace of her. And the male vampire was gone too.

How could I have let this happen? She had been outside less than a minute. Why hadn't I just gone out with her? I tried to calm my frenzied thoughts and focus on what might be going on. First of all, if she had been attacked by the vampire, I would have definitely sensed her distress. But what if he had knocked her out? Or maybe she went along willingly. What if… I decided not to dwell on what ifs for now and tried to piece together what happened.

I caught her scent immediately when I left the building and started tracking it. She had walked around the corner into a deserted alley where her scent mingled with that of the vampire's. No blood, I had to be thankful for that. They had left together towards the other end of the street and there the scent vanished into thin air. He had taken her in a car.

"Fuck!" I bellowed. "Goddamned motherfucker!"

I punched the wall next to me in frustration and put my hand right through it. Luckily there wasn't a living soul around to see it. Shaking off the debris I turned around to see a very scared and confused Alice standing a few feet away from me. She was wringing her hands and looking down at the tips of her shoes.

"I'm so sorry, Jasper," she half sobbed. "I didn't think he'd go after her. He didn't make the decision until the last minute, otherwise I would have seen it in a vision. I really am very sorry."

She looked up to me with those big golden eyes rimmed with tears that would never fall and the guilt and betrayal coming from her were genuine. Still, I wasn't having any of it. I needed answers and I needed them now. In a flash I had her pressed against the wall, hand around her throat ready to rip it out.

"Who is he and why has he taken Bella?" I asked her through clenched teeth.

She was terrified now and started answering immediately.

"His name is Edward Cullen. He used to be Isabella's boyfriend, but she moved away and they broke up. I found him and made him a vampire four months ago."

"What? He's a newborn?" That wasn't possible. He had too much control. No newborn was able to be around humans without going on a killing spree. And the guy hadn't even twitched a muscle in a crowded diner.

"How is that possible?"

"Edward has exceptional control over himself. And I told him to behave or he would never see Isabella again. That seemed to work quite well."

"Motherfucker. So it is him. I knew I should have ripped his head off the moment I laid eyes on him," I muttered to myself.

"Oh please, don't hurt him. He's a nice man. He has told me about what had passed between him and Isabella and all he wanted was an opportunity to redeem himself."

Again she looked at me with those big eyes and I turned away in disgust, letting her sag to the floor.

"Obviously he has played you from the start. Now go away. I never want to hear from you ever again."

That hurt her to the core and I could almost feel her heart literally getting ripped out of her chest. The overwhelming guilt, heart ache and loneliness stopped me from running away from her. Nobody could fake that.

"Let me help you," she whispered. "Please Jasper, use my gift. Let me make this right."

There was an eagerness in her emotions that made me hesitate just a second, but when I turned back to face her and looked into her pleading eyes, I had to accept her offer. Was it that I was turning soft or that getting back Bella was more important than carrying a grudge, I don't know.

"I'll never forgive you for bringing Edward back into my girl's life," I stated as I helped her up.

"I'll never forgive myself if he hurts her," she replied. "And I think they left in a cab heading south."

* * *

"Peter, motherfucker, where the hell are you?" I growled into my cell phone.

"Sorry Jasper, Bella's still generating some white noise. I'm having some serious trouble getting her on my radar," he answered, frustration obvious in his voice.

"Can you tell me anything at all?"

"Fucker didn't harm her, at least not too badly, that's all I can tell," he said and I sighed in relief.

"Me and the misses are coming over. You're gonna need us to catch up with the asshole."

I wanted to tell him where we were, but the jackass had already hung up the phone. It was so typically him to know where we were and then not foresee Bella getting kidnapped. Sometimes I really hated his gift and the fact that we relied on it too heavily to predict shit happening to us. After the whole hunting incident I should have at least considered the fact that it might fail us completely, like it did today.

Five minutes later they pulled up in a black SUV, probably stolen. Peter got out so I could take the wheel. It was something we didn't even think about anymore. I was in charge and I drove. Alice got in the back with Charlotte and the tension between the two women was immediate, the opposite from what it had been with Bella. Mutual loathing was almost dripping off the upholstery of the car.

"Great," I muttered to myself as I drove south. Peter agreed with the direction we were headed and would become uneasy if we were going the wrong way. We had tracked people before like this and even though we didn't quite know how it worked, we always seemed to find our target.

"Who's the pixie?" Charlotte asked suddenly. "And can you please tell me what the hell is going on here? Peter didn't really have the time with the grand theft auto and all going on."

I told them what had happened in the diner and afterwards and Alice explained who she and Edward were. The air in the car seemed to freeze as she spoke; there was such a hostility coming from Charlotte even Peter felt it.

"Are you telling me you came here to steal Jasper away and brought Bella's abusive ex-boyfriend to accomplish that?" she asked, her voice as cold as the atmosphere around us.

"When you say it like that it sounds horrible. I didn't mean to steal him away. I've been waiting for him all my life. I just wanted time to get to know him. I didn't mean for any of this to happen. You have to believe me. I'm so sorry," she ranted.

Through the rearview mirror she pleaded with me and I was inclined to believe her. She was sorry. And miserable. I guess that was the main reason I had let her live and even brought her along. I had rarely seen an individual as miserable as her. She reminded me of myself a little bit before I met Bella.

"What's done is done," I said with finality. "Now we have to focus our energy on finding Bella and that's more important than assigning blame. If you can't accept that, Charlotte, you'd better get out of the car now."

I hated coming down on her like that, but it was necessary. She was nearly as frantic as I was about my girl and I needed her sane and together. She huffed and stared straight ahead, moping. Our eyes crossed briefly and we understood each other. The anguish we felt was shared and if our worst fears became reality, Alice would not get out alive. But for now, we were going to use her to get Bella back.

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**AN: Thanks to all of you who are still with me and this story. Work has been crazy, but I'm going to try to keep up. Big thanks to mcruscito for being my beta. **


	13. Chapter 13 Edward

**Chapter 13 - Edward**

**BPOV**

I woke up with my head pounding like a drum and a fog lying over my brain as if it was wrapped in a wet blanket. I could feel the haziness starting to fade very slowly though, and my mind was getting clearer. My first thought was to keep absolutely still and quiet, trying to figure out if there was anybody around. My fight or flight instinct was apparently stuck on playing possum. The second thought that popped up was more in the line of _what the fuck happened to me?_ I carefully opened one eye and was met with utter blackness. I listened for noises for a while, but could discern nothing. Assuming I was on my own, I started feeling around. Not that there was much feeling around to do. I couldn't stretch out my body and there wasn't much room for my arms either. The trunk of a car was my best guess of where I was. I contemplated briefly yelling out and making as much noise as I could, but the possum instinct was still there. There was this feeling in my gut that I shouldn't call out for help now; that if I did, it would cause more problems.

Instead of shouting, I tried to piece together what got me in my current predicament in the first place. The last thing I remembered was being in that diner with Jasper. And then… Oh, fuck.

Edward.

That motherfucker had walked in and then this crazy ass vampire girl started talking about how she had been waiting for Jasper and I had almost killed the bitch right there. At least tried to kill the bitch.

And then I had walked outside, expecting Jasper to be right behind me. But when I turned around, it was Edward who had been standing in front of me. Next, everything went dark. So I guess, judging by the size of my headache, he knocked me out and kidnapped me.

Huh, I got kidnapped. Shouldn't I be panicking right now?

No, I got kidnapped by Edward fucking Cullen, I should definitely be panicking. The calm that had possessed me was dissipating quickly now I realized what a clusterfuck I was in. Maybe I had subconsciously thought Jasper would show up soon to rescue me, but I knew Edward very well. He was extremely intelligent and manipulating and now that he was a vampire, he would be even more dangerous. Despair was creeping up on me and I felt like I was buried alive, alone with my thoughts. If his goal was to break me, he might not have to wait long.

Suddenly the darkness was pierced and a bright light was blinding me.

"Awake, love?" a velvety voice asked and all doubts about who took me were gone.

"Fuck off, Edward," I said, trying to sound cool and uncaring, but the tremble in my voice gave me away.

As my eyes were adjusting to the light, I could see that I was in fact in the trunk of a car and that Edward was looming over me. His condescending smirk was exactly like I remembered it, only being a vampire had made him even more beautiful. His otherworldly beauty in combination with the ruby red eyes that had replaced the green ones, made him look creepy as fuck. He might as well have been an alien to me.

He sighed theatrically after my little outburst and picked me up like I was a doll, putting me back on my feet next to the car.

"I guess I'm going to have to train you all over again, pet," he said casually. "I'm sure you'll be mine again soon."

The tone in which he said those words, made the chills run down my spine. There had been no doubt in his voice that I was going to be his. And then I started to get scared, really scared.

* * *

"Hi honey, I'm home," Edward called to me.

My heart sank when I saw him entering our motel room, but it was still a relief that he came back and didn't leave me tied to the sleazy bed. That had been our routine for the past week. Me in the trunk, then me tied to a bed in a roadside motel room while Edward went out doing whatever-the-fuck it was that he needed to do. And that time alone nearly drove me insane. All I could think about was what horrible things he would do to me when he got back and why Jasper hadn't come to save me yet. So by the time Edward came back to untie me in the early hours of the morning, being his most charming self, I was almost happy that he didn't do the things I had imagined.

"I have a present for you, love," he said, approaching the bed.

It was then that I realized he had come back earlier than usual; the alarm clock showed it was barely 10 pm. Edward was holding a large box that he carefully put down on the bed next to me. He started untying me and as he bent over me, I noticed his eyes rapidly turning darker. He lowered his head to my neck and for a second I thought he was going to lose control and bite me. But all he did was inhale deeply. He closed his eyes for a moment, leaned back and when he opened them again, they were back to their ruby red color. A color that I still found very disconcerting, but on the other hand, it helped reminding me that this wasn't the man I once loved.

"I couldn't care less for presents at this moment, Edward," I sighed, rubbing my sore wrists, trying to get my circulation going.

"Indulge me," he said in his most charming tone, but I caught the flash of anger that crossed his face.

I opened the box carefully and found a beautiful red cocktail dress, a matching panty and bra set and heels. He chuckled when he saw the surprised look on my face and for a moment I was dumbstruck.

"Put it on," he said, nodding towards the tiny bathroom.

I took that moment alone getting dressed to think through what was happening all of a sudden. I quickly decided it must be part of some elaborate plot to make me fall in love with him again. During my lonely hours on the bed and in the trunk, I had come to realize something like this was bound to happen. He wasn't making himself loved by tying me up all the time. What I hadn't decided upon was how to handle it. Was I going to let him have it, working against him every step of the way, trying to find my own way out? Or was I going to play along and wait for Jasper to find me.

I was dressed way too quickly for my liking, still undecided about my course of action. All I knew for now was not to get on Edward's nerves. The flashes of anger he'd shown over the last couple of days were a sign that his mood was even more unstable as a vampire than it had been as a human and that scared the living hell out of me. Come to think about it, wasn't he some kind of newborn vampire? He couldn't have been changed longer than five months. I vaguely remember Jasper telling me stories about how newborn vampires were such volatile creatures they couldn't be trusted in the presence of humans. How was it even possible that Edward was able to be in control around me? All those questions did nothing to ease my mind, but it was important to keep his mental state in mind.

I cast a last glance in the mirror before stepping out of the bathroom. To be honest, I looked stunning. The red dress clung to my body, showing the right amount of cleavage to make a man's mouth water. Not that that was a good thing. Edward sure knew what he was doing, picking this dress out for me. I appeared every inch the cock tease I didn't want to be.

Stepping into the larger room, I kept my eyes cast down, not knowing how to act. I didn't want to come across as too confident, because I was sure it would be misinterpreted. Little did I know that acting all shy was appealing to Edward's ego all that more.

"You look magnificent, love," Edward spoke right next to my ear, startling me with his rapid movement.

"What… what are the plans?" I stuttered.

"We are going on a date," he stated.

"What?"

"I'm taking you out, love," he clarified, holding out his arm for me to take it.

I hesitated for a second and again I saw rage pass over his features. Quickly, I recovered and placed my hand gently in the crook of his elbow. I plastered a smile on my face and nodded for him to lead the way, not trusting my voice. With that, the decision was made. I was going to play along with him, bluffing my way through the whole charade. The only thing I was hoping for was that Jasper would find me before I had to do something I'd regret for the rest of my life.

And Jasper would come for me.

He had to…

The thought of Jasper had me on the edge of tears, but I had to swallow them away. From now on, I had to stay in character for Edward. Meanwhile I had no idea where he was leading me. Hopefully not too far away if I wanted to arrive in one piece, wearing these shoes. Turned out we weren't going far at all. Three doors over from our room, he stopped and pulled out a key. He opened the door and showed me in like a gentleman, his hand supporting me in the small of my back.

I was dumbstruck with the sight before me. The room was decorated entirely in red, blood red, from the drapes to the linens on the bed, even the carpet was burgundy. In front of the bed was a table set for two, with a bouquet of ruby red roses and a single candle. It would have been quite the romantic sight, if all the red didn't remind me of blood and Edward's eyes.

Edward misinterpreted my silence completely and chuckled.

"I thought you'd like it," he whispered in my ear. "Red always was your favorite color."

That was true, emphasis on was. I'd die happily if I never had to see or wear anything red again from now on. Nevertheless, I managed to produce a little smile and he led me to one of the chairs, pulling it out for me to sit down.

"Wine?"

He showed me a bottle of red wine that seemed even more expensive than the dress. I had never drunk red wine before, but for what he had planned my best option was to be slightly inebriated.

"Yes, please."

I tentatively sipped from the glass, trying not to think about blood anymore and found out I actually liked the taste of the wine. Taking a few bigger gulps, I could feel warmth creeping up my cheeks and I was slightly more at ease. Although that changed quickly when I saw Edward's eyes getting darker and his posture turning even more rigid.

"Take it easy on the wine, love," he spoke through gritted teeth. "I might not be able to control myself if you start blushing any harder."

"I'm sorry, Edward," I said, putting my glass down.

"Don't worry about it. I have exceptional control of my bloodlust, but you're turning out to be quite the challenge."

This was the first time he acknowledged his bloodlust and I didn't know whether to ask about it, or ignore the whole thing. In the end, my curiosity won the battle.

"May I ask you something?" I started, staying in my shy girl routine.

"Sure, love, what do you want to know?"

"How is it that you are so much in control of your thirst? I mean, I heard that newborns have a hard time being around humans."

"It is hard, that's true. I hear your heart pumping and your blood rushing and all I want to do is drink from you. My instinct screams at me to devour you."

He captured me with his eyes as he spoke, forcing the image of him burying his teeth in my neck onto my mind. I was scared shitless, as was probably his intention. He could no doubt hear the racing of my heart, but I did my very best to keep composed and not let my fear shine through.

"But?" I asked.

"But what?"

"Your instinct screams at you to devour me, _but_ you haven't."

"Yet."

"You haven't yet. Why?"

"Because I want you."

"You already have me."

"True, but I want all of you. I want you to be mine like you were before, like it's supposed to be."

"I see."

"I know it is going to take some effort, Isabella. I've wronged you in the past, and I know that now."

He grabbed my hand in his; wrapping his long fingers through mine with a gentleness I had rarely seen from him.

"I love you, Isabella. It took you leaving me to realize that. Knowing how I had treated you broke my heart and I'd do anything to get you back."

"Including kidnapping me?"

Fuck me and my big mouth. It slipped out before I could stop it.

"I guess I deserved that," he admitted.

"But you have to know this, Isabella. You'll stay with me until you're mine again. If I can't have you, no one can."

The unspoken death threat should have scared me, but it didn't. It meant I had an out, if I couldn't take it any longer.

Edward released my hands and jumped up, his face all cheery again.

"Enough with this sullen conversation. I have made you a special dinner and I hope you're going to enjoy it."

How I managed to eat a single bite, I still don't know. But somehow, I ate everything he put in front of me. I was even able to chat with him lightheartedly, like he wasn't my evil vampire abductor. There was definitely a career for me as an actress, should I want to.

Later that night, when I was back in my cuffs, I swore my revenge. When this was over, when Jasper has rescued me, I was going to become a vampire. And then I was going to rip Edward apart. And that Alice bitch too, as a side treat. I was going to be a badass vamp…

* * *

**AN: Here I am, starting with my list of apologies ;). Sorry it took me so long to update. I'm definitely not abandoning this story and I know where I'm going with it, I'm just having a hard time writing it down. **

**Second apology, this is unbeta'd, so sorry for the mistakes...**

**Third one, sorry for all the folks who reviewed and didn't get an answer, I'm going to try better with this chapter. **

**I love y'all :D, thanks for sticking with me!**


	14. Chapter 14 The Chase

**What happened in the last few chapters:**

Jasper and Bella ran into Alice and Edward in Philadelphia. Alice turned out to be waiting for Jasper and had brought Edward, who in turn kidnapped Bella. Jasper, Charlotte and Peter are tracking them and Jasper let Alice tag along because he pitied her. Meanwhile, Edward is trying to win Bella back. She's playing along for now, hoping Jasper is going to rescue her soon.

**Chapter 14 – The Chase**

**JPOV **

"Damn, that fucker is good. You have to give him that."

"I don't have to give the bastard fucking anything, Peter!"

In my frustration I opened the car door so fast, I ripped it straight off.

"Fuck!" I screamed my disappointment away and sank to my knees.

One week had passed and we still hadn't found Bella. One week in which she could have been killed a thousand times over. Or worse… My mind stopped working when I went over the possibilities. All the gruesome things I had done in my past came back to haunt me, the knowledge that they might be done to her sending my mind over the edge.

I had to admit to myself that the fucker indeed was good, although you would never hear me say it out loud. Every night I thought we had caught up with them and every time it turned out to be a false lead. And every single time we had to clean up after him. The little sadist went on killing sprees, wiping out entire families and left. We had no choice but to do his dirty work. If the Volturi got wind of this, they'd end him and Bella. I couldn't have that. And that meant the trail was getting colder and colder as time went on.

I felt a small hand on my shoulder, giving me a reassuring squeeze, accompanied by a wave of compassion.

Alice.

She was trying to be my rock. The guilt I felt coming from her was still miles high, but I also felt that she cared for me deeply and wanted me to be happy. It didn't change the fact though, that she was losing hope. She knew Edward best and if she was expecting the worst, what did that mean for Bella? It was sucking me in a downward spiral of self hatred and depression.

Suddenly something hit me full force in the face and I was catapulted a couple of yards back.

"Snap out of it, Jasper Whitlock!" Charlotte screamed, looming over me. "Bella is _not_ dead and we _will_ find her, you understand me?"

She sure was a sight to behold, standing in front of me, and the fury that filled her was quite contagious. I needed that. I needed her to keep me going. At this moment she was raw power, absolutely determined to find the woman we both loved.

"Charlotte, shut up," Peter interjected, concerned about his wife's safety. And normally he should have been.

"No, she's right," I admitted and stuck out my hand so she could help me up. "Thank you, Charlotte, for saying what needed to be said. If I keep acting like that, you have my permission to deck me again."

There were flashes of emotion going around as I spoke, mostly relief coming from Peter and Charlotte, but the one that confused me was the flicker of jealousy I picked up from Alice. Why the hell would she be jealous of Charlotte? Was it even directed at her? She had suppressed it so quickly I had no idea what it was about.

"I think you need to _hunt_," Charlotte told me and with the way she said the word hunt, I knew she didn't mean no animal.

"I'll come with you, Jasper," Alice said, positioning herself between me and Charlotte. "I smelled a herd of dear not too far away from here."

There was definitely something more going on between those two than their initial enmity, which I had written off as a female thing. I'd have to keep a closer watch on them to find out what, starting with Charlotte.

"I'm hunting with Charlotte today, Alice."

"Oh, I didn't know Charlotte hunted animals too."

"I don't," Charlotte said as a devious grin spread over her face.

Alice looked so dejected and hurt, I felt the need to explain myself. I just couldn't make her more miserable than she already was.

"I'm going after a human because I need to be strong for when we find Bella. This search has been very demanding so far, especially when I have to deal with all the emotions that have been toying around. It doesn't mean I'm giving up on animals. Bella wouldn't want anyone dying on her account, but this is for the best."

She nodded and backed down, still somewhat disappointed in me, and I guess in the fact that she couldn't hunt with me, but she understood my reasoning. She wasn't very happy about it though.

Charlotte and I took off as fast as we could to the nearest town, Peter and Alice following to get the SUV fixed. I was torn between finding the right victim so Bella wouldn't hate me and draining someone in a hurry to get on with the chase. We decided to check out the local hospital, the best place for a quick and inconspicuous fix.

The stench of stale urine, antiseptics and desperation hit us before we even entered. As we walked through the sliding doors at the ER, the smell of blood was overwhelming. Both of us had to still for a moment to regain our composure and not slaughter the entire ward. Apparently the victims of an MVA had just pulled in and chaos reigned around us, Charlotte and I being the eye of the storm. A wave of calm followed when we moved rapidly and stealthily behind the thin green curtains. We were lucky. Two of them were going to croak anyway, with or without our help, and we each chose one.

I remembered how Bella hated the idea of me feeding off pretty girls, like I used to, so I took the fat sweaty truck driver while Charlotte took the young redhead. I stood watch as she disappeared behind the sleazy curtain. With my gift, it was very easy for me to distract people's attention away from Charlotte; I just had to take away their curiosity and give them the feeling that there was something important happening elsewhere. Meanwhile I heard the redhead wake to the sight of the beautiful vampire that was standing in front of her.

"It is time, my child," Charlotte spoke in a slightly husky, melodical voice. She always had a knack for melodramatics during the hunt.

"Where am I? Are you a doctor? Where's my boyfriend? Oh my God, the truck…"

The girl started hyperventilating as her memories of the car crash surfaced. I cast a wave of calm over her just as I heard Charlotte sitting down on the bed.

"Shhh… You have nothing to fear, child," Charlotte whispered and I was imagining her putting her cool hand on the girl's forehead.

"What is happening to me?"

"You are going to a better place."

I almost snorted when she said that. Come on. How those people always fell for that, I didn't understand. The girl was in fact calming down on her own now, accepting the inevitable.

"Are you an angel?"

"Yes."

The only sound after that was the tearing of delicate flesh as Charlotte buried her teeth in the girl, and the little sucking noises she made draining her body. Charlotte emerged shortly after and truly did look like an angel. The way she wore that white cotton dress, like it was a wedding gown, and her eyes shining brightly, even made it hard for me to look at her. With the fresh blood filling her, she was even more vibrant; it seemed like she was glowing. Maybe those humans weren't so stupid after all.

She nodded her head towards the bed of the trucker and I too slipped behind a thin sheet of fabric. No theatrics with my kill. The man was already in a coma from which he'd never wake up. He had a gaping wound in his thigh where a piece of the steering wheel had torn through and that was where I would drink. Normally I preferred the jugular, but I wasn't about to leave a trace of my presence behind. The femoral artery it was then. I pried loose the bandage and stitches, separated the sides of the wound and bit down. His warmth filled me instantly and I sucked greedily. I didn't finish him off completely and was done before a minute had passed. I wiped my face clean with some paper towels and walked over to Charlotte. As we left, she casually touched some people here and there, absorbing their memories of the short time we had been in the hospital.

When we reached Peter and Alice, clearly something had happened between the two of them. He was more furious than I had ever seen him and he had obviously hurt Alice's feelings, because she was a miserable sobbing mess, sitting in the passenger seat of the car.

"What the hell is going on here, Peter? What did you do?"

"What did _I_ do? Don't you mean what did _she_ fucking do?" he said disgustedly.

"Did she have another vision?"

"Damn right she did."

Alice had a couple of visions this last week, none of them making us any wiser. She'd see Bella tied on a motel bed, but couldn't see the name of the motel. When she did see the name of some place, it always led us to one of the massacres and never to Edward's lair. I felt panic grip my chest as I realized she might have seen Bella getting seriously injured of even killed.

In less than a second I was in the car, gripping Alice tightly, yelling: "Is she dead? Please tell me she isn't dead!"

"No, she's fine, Jasper," she quickly answered while she pried my fingers from her arm.

"At least physically she is," she added as an afterthought and I immediately tensed again.

"Explain yourself."

She was clearly reluctant to share her vision with me, knowing how Peter had reacted. But I also knew she and Peter didn't get along at all, and he is prone to overreaction at times.

"Just tell me the fucking vision, Alice," I sighed. "I promise, whatever it is, I won't take it out on you."

"Okay, I trust you, Jasper," she said, and suddenly she wasn't feeling miserable anymore, just pity and concern directed my way.

"I had a vision of Bella dressed in a red Versace dress, having an intimate dinner with Edward. She was smiling and drinking red wine, the room was draped with red and there were candles burning all around. That's all I saw, no conversation, no hint of their location. I'm sorry."

A million thoughts and emotions started going around as I tried to find a meaning in that vision. First, I was relieved. If Bella was smiling and drinking wine she was still human and unhurt. Then, my jealousy flared as I thought about her reasons for smiling. Was she falling for Edward again? She had told me he was very charming and had a strong personality. And as a vampire he could easily dazzle her and manipulate her emotions, even without a gift like mine. But Bella was stronger than that. She wouldn't let him get to her like that. But then why was she acting all cozy with him? Was she faking it? Was he forcing her in any way? Would he make a move on her? She wouldn't allow that. Or would she? Would she sacrifice her life if it came to it? Would I want her to?

I was going around in circles and couldn't get out. Again, it was Charlotte who came to my rescue. Unlike Peter, she was radiating relief and it puzzled me.

"Have a little faith in Bella, Jasper," she softly spoke. "She's wearing a designer dress, having a romantic dinner, sipping wine… Does that sound anything like our Bella?"

She gave me a pointed stare, until I shook my head agreeing with her.

"There's no way Bella would willingly cooperate with such a charade," Charlotte added and she was right. I had to keep faith that Bella was doing everything she could to stay alive long enough for me to find her. Now it was up to me to find her before she had to resort to desperate measures.

I gave Charlotte a hug and sent her my thanks. There was a subtle hint of jealousy coming from behind me and I realized that it was Alice. There was an overwhelming loneliness constantly present in her emotions and with Peter angry at her and Charlotte's aversion it was even more prominent. I had to deal with this now, before it escalated. It annoyed me to no end, because now I had found my fighting spirit again, I wanted to take action.

"Peter and Alice, come here."

I motioned Charlotte over to stand beside her husband and addressed the three of them together.

"We all know our way of handling things so far hasn't worked," I stated. "I'm not gonna play the blame game here, but we have to start working closer together."

Embarrassment from Peter and Alice and a defiant glare from Charlotte, at least two of them knew what I meant.

"Alice, your visions haven't been helpful yet, but I'm sure they will be at some point, so keep trying. Peter, every time she has a vision, you're gonna pull your yoda-crap so we have a better idea whether it's a false lead the fucker has put out for us. Would that work?"

"I don't know, Jasper. But there's no harm in trying. We'll work together."

He gave Alice a small smile which she returned gingerly. Meanwhile I was getting the stink-eye from Charlotte. But she had helped so much already I was going to let it slide.

"So Peter, why is your radar failing?" I said, turning completely to him.

He was at a loss for words, mouth agape like a fucking fish. But then it dawned on him and he got angry with himself.

"Fuck me. I hadn't even realized it wasn't working as well as usual."

He closed his eyes and turned south west, the direction we were headed. I had no idea how his mojo worked, but I had seen him do this before. Normally he'd open his eyes after a few seconds and say something like '10 miles straight ahead' or 'he's heading round that mountain' or some shit like that. This time he was eerily silent while his frustration was building.

After a couple of minutes his shoulders slumped and he cursed under his breath.

"I know why it isn't working like it should. She's human. We've never tracked a human before. It's messing up my shit. I can't believe it didn't see it before."

I couldn't believe either, but there wasn't anything that could be done about it now. Once this was over, we were going to have a long hard talk about it though. We were getting sloppy, were spoiled by our current lifestyle and that wasn't going to fly anymore.

"Jasper can kick your ass for it later," Charlotte interjected. "Finding Bella is our priority, everything else comes second."

"She's right, Peter. Let's go."

Days passed by and we still hadn't found Bella, but we were closing in. The wild goose chase was beginning to turn into an actual hunt. Peter and Alice teaming up seemed to work and we were able to drop some of the false leads in her visions. Now that she was putting a real effort in it, their frequency had increased as well. That was a good thing, but also disturbing at times. It seemed that my Bella was no longer locked and chained, but meant she came in much closer contact with dickward. From what we learned out of the vision, we deduced that he was turning her into some kind of fantasy version of her, his fucked up idea of a Stepford wife. At least he was trying to. And I had to keep believing she could resist him; that she would remain Bella.

Exactly 15 days, nine hours and 26 minutes since I last saw her, we caught the break we were looking for all along. Not far outside of Denver, in a shabby Super 8 motel, I caught Bella's scent. Peter and I followed it to a room on the first floor. I knew not to get my hopes up, because the trail was at least 24 hours old. We listened carefully at the door, but there was no one there. Peter quickly picked the lock and I entered, leaving him to stand guard outside. Her scent was more concentrated here, not yet tainted by other humans and I inhaled deeply. Intermingled with hers was the smell of Edward; were I human, I would have retched at that point. The stink of death surrounded him like a blanket.

There was one place in the room where her scent lingered more and I sunk to my knees next to the king size bed. Why the hell would they need a king, come to think of it? He wasn't sleeping. If he touched her in any way I was going to rip off his balls and feed them to him, after I burned his dick. I found a loose floorboard and it came out easily. Underneath it there was a small hole with a piece of paper. I must have been projecting my nervousness and anxiety because Peter was next to me in an instant.

"Is that…?" he whispered.

"A letter from Bella," I struggled to answer as I folded open the note. It was written in a hurry, but it was clearly her handwriting.

_My Jasper,_

_It's been exactly two weeks since Edward took me and today is the first time he left me untied long enough for me to write this letter. He hasn't hurt me and treats me well. _

_I am yours. Do not doubt that for a second. No man will ever own me in the way you will. You have my heart, my body and my soul. _

_At this point I'm doing what I have to in order to survive, and it has bought me a little bit of freedom. I will leave you more notes when I can. I don't know why you haven't tracked me down, but I trust in you that you will eventually. In case it takes you too long, I have a plan, but I'd rather leave that as a last resort. I can't go into details should Edward find this letter, so you'll just going to have to trust me like I trust you. _

_I love you with all my heart, with my whole life. Tell Peter and Charlotte I love them and miss them._

_Yours,_

_Bella_

Reading her words nearly broke my heart as I realized I had been failing her. She counted on me to be rescued and it had been an utter disaster so far. And still, she trusted me. Self loathing and despair were embalming me in their sweet caress when I heard a thump that shook me out of my stupor. My emotions had brought Peter to his knees and he was sitting next to me with his eyes closed, hands fisted in his hair.

I tried to reign in every negative emotion and focus on the positive. Bella was still alive. She was still fighting and so would I. There was more hope now than there had been before. I just hoped that she wouldn't have to put her plan in action, because thinking of her words made the chills creep down my spine. I was going to find her before that. No doubt about it. I was going to see her again. My Bella.

* * *

**AN: Wow, wasn't that fast ;). **

**So I need to get something off my chest. I was reading Underneath Your Scars by Hammerhips this week (amazing story btw) and she was giving credit to Idreamofeddy for her Peter 'that knows shit'. I had been so wrapped up in reading all sorts of fanfiction that I didn't realize the knowing shit wasn't canon. So credit where it's owed, thanks to Idreamofeddy for creating the Peter we all love.**


	15. Chapter 15 The Plan

**What happened so far:** Bella is still being held by Edward. In the previous chapter, Jasper was getting closer as Peter and Alice started working together. They found a letter left by Bella in which she declares her love to Jasper and tells him she has a plan.

**Chapter 15 – The Plan**

**BPOV**

I delicately placed my hand on his arm and tried to look sad, instead of showing the outrage that was twirling around inside me.

"I don't hate you, Edward," I said with a sigh, "but I don't think I can forgive you yet. First, I have to learn how to trust you again."

We had been talking after he fed me and it was quite obvious he was trying to manipulate me. He was making that angel face with a slightly pouty bottom lip and so much sadness in his eyes. That used to work on me perfectly. I wasn't naïve anymore though; two could play that game. And when he said in a heartbreaking tone 'I know you hate me, Isabella, and I can't blame you' I saw my chance at playing him.

"I understand, Isabella, and I will try my hardest to gain that trust again," he spoke in his most velvety voice.

He probably thought I'd swoon all over him once he started talking like that, but it just creeped me out. His eyes shifted to the door almost too fast for me to catch and I knew it was time for him to leave like he did every night.

"I have to leave you now, love, but I'll be back soon."

He kissed me softly on my forehead and I shivered in disgust. Since he smiled his smug grin at me, he probably had the idea he was winning me over and I let him in his delusion. He was reaching for the handcuffs to tie me to the bed as usual, when he stilled in mid-movement.

"I think I'm not going to cuff you tonight, love. If I want to earn your trust, I'm going to start with trusting you first."

The smile that lit up my face was absolutely genuine. My wrists had taken all the abuse they could stand and I was suddenly so relieved I could cry. At the same time, I knew this was a test and his charade with the last minute decision was carefully orchestrated. He was good, very good. I was already thankful for the small gesture.

That whole night while he was gone, I stayed put. I took a long, hot shower which did my sore muscles a world of good, I watched TV and went to bed early. I gave no indication I couldn't be trusted, didn't come near the windows, didn't open the door, didn't use the phone. I was even surprised with myself that I could act so level-headed because on the inside I was boiling. I felt just about ready to jump out of my skin, this caged feeling haunting me, but I forced myself to stay utterly calm.

I woke up to the sound of the door opening and l let out a small groan. Still not a morning person. Admittedly, sleeping without being tied up was much more comfortable and again there was that hint of gratefulness towards Edward that I quickly smothered in hate.

"Wake up, Isabella," he whispered too close to my ear for my comfort and I groaned again.

He chuckled and then unceremoniously ripped the sheets off of me.

"What the fuck?" I yelled in surprise, shooting upright in the bed as he stiffened. He was absolutely not amused with my reaction and probably with my choice of words, stern look in his eyes, like he needed to educate me all over again.

"I'm sorry, Edward," I quickly recovered, casting my eyes down in my shy pose. "I didn't mean to be so rude. You just took me by surprise, that's all."

He didn't react and I thought I'd make a little joke to diffuse the tension between us.

"By the way, waking me up this way isn't going to let you back into my good graces. You know I'm no morning person."

I smiled at him and after a few seconds he smiled back.

"I'm sorry too, Isabella. I seemed to have forgotten about your morning habits, but it's coming back to me now. I promise I won't ambush you like that in the morning ever again."

The next days went on in much the same manner. Edward left me untied and I tried my hardest not to escape. It was slowly killing me and I was pretty sure it was all part of his game. I still had not much of a clue as to how I could break free. Jasper was my only hope and it was taking him awfully long to reach me. I was beginning to fear how far I was going to have to take my charade if he didn't come rescue me soon. I wouldn't be able to keep Edward off my back for much longer. I had to show him some hints that his scheme was working. At least ten times in the course of the days I had been close to leaving Jasper a letter of some sorts, but I chickened out each time. It was a combination of fear of getting caught and having nothing to tell Jasper. In the end, it was Edward who forced my decision.

Exactly two weeks after the kidnapping Edward decided it was no longer needed for me to travel in the trunk, since I proved I was trustworthy. If only he knew, I snorted inwardly. I had become an expert at the inward snort and eye roll.

Yes, my imprisonment was weighing heavily on me.

Being in the car like that together was awkward for me. I had no idea what to say and to be honest, I really felt no need to chat with him. But of course he had to play his gentlemanly role and made conversation easily. There was this whole new side of him that seemed to emerge, no doubt to impress me. It looked like he was truly interested in what I had to say. And that made it hard to stay emotionally unattached. I was very afraid he would get under my skin if I kept interacting with him the entire drive, but I had no choice. The only thing I could do, was reminding myself over and over again of how much I hated him and wanted him to die a horrible, bloody death.

At nightfall, we pulled up at a grubby little motel in middle-of-nowhere Montana. The rooms were separate lodges painted a bright lilac and were all facing a small rose garden in the center. How that ever got to be part of the Super 8 chain was beyond me. Why somebody wanted to live out here was beyond me, but that was not the point.

"Do you like it?" Edward suddenly asked.

"It seems… cozy," I replied with a forced smile. I hated every inch of it, but I was glad I finally got to see where we were. Even if it wouldn't help me get away one single bit.

He seemed content with my reply and motioned for me to get out of the car with him. We walked together to the little admittance office under the large neon vacancy sign. This undoubtedly was another test to see if I would give anything away. It was completely unnecessary of course. As if I would willingly endanger the life of the poor clerk sitting behind his ugly desk for a chance to get rescued.

"A very pleasant evening," a scruffy old man greeted us as we entered. "How can I help you?"

"My fiancée and I are looking for a room for the night," Edward announced and gently put his arm around my waist while he smiled warmly down at me.

I immediately blushed, which fitted nicely in my shy girl routine and produced a hesitant little smile.

"I have exactly what you are looking for young man," said the clerk with a huge grin and a fat wink at Edward as he took a key set with a pink feather attached to it. He handed it to me while Edward wrote down our names and paid.

There was a plaque hanging next to the feather which read 'Honeymoon Suite' and I only barely contained my snort. Great. Like I could use more forced romance in my life.

"Why thank you sir," I said in my best southern drawl as I plastered a huge smile on my face. "My man and I appreciate the kindness."

To top it off, I gave Edward a quick kiss on his cheek. That move seemed to take him by surprise. Hell, I even surprised myself. I felt him go rigid under my touch and he swept me away to our room as fast as he could without raising suspicion. I'm quite sure I heard the old man chuckle at our presumed eagerness to be alone.

As soon as we were inside our room, I was pressed roughly against the door. Edward's body covered my own and I felt his erection grinding against my stomach. Straight away my fear was spiking as my imagination was running haywire with scenarios of being forced into having sex with him. It wasn't like I hadn't slept with him before, but now, the thought of any man but Jasper touching me, was making me feel sick. My heart was racing out of my chest and my breathing was getting ragged while Edward slowly slid his hand up my thigh towards my ass. Now I know why the fucker had made me wear these ridiculous flowery skirts. Rapid access.

His other hand fisted in my hair and he tilted my head slightly. At first I feared he wanted to kiss me, which made my heart beat even faster. I kept my eyes away from him, not sure that I could keep the repulsion out, but his lips didn't come near mine. His breath was on my neck unexpectedly and I gasped. Cold and wet, his tongue connected with my skin and my life was nearly flashing before my eyes. He pulled me even closer, his dick painfully pressing into me. Then, agonizingly slow, he licked from my collarbone up to my ear. It was the most disgusting thing anyone had ever done to me and I felt filthy and violated.

Through all this, I hadn't moved an inch, trying not to encourage him, but also trying to keep him from noticing my disgust. To my great relieve, he didn't take it further and disentangled himself after the lick. He took a small step away from me, so we weren't touching anymore and I sighed.

"I'm sorry," he muttered.

"It's okay," I managed to say, but my voice cracked a little.

_Don't break down in front of him. Don't break down in front of him. He can't see you cry._

"I scared you," he stated, his voice laced in concern.

He put his hand on my cheek and made me look at him. His eyes were a very dark burgundy, but already turning lighter. The worry in them was real and I wondered if maybe he had changed and was a better man now. The Edward I knew wouldn't have stopped without an explicit 'no' from my part.

"I'm fine," I sighed, not sure of how to act or what to say.

"Don't say that, Isabella. It's pretty obvious that you're anything but fine."

It was all for nothing if I didn't find a way to explain my behavior right this instant. If he found out that it was all an act, he would never grant me any freedom. I had to buy more time.

"You're right, Edward," I said, deliberately adding his name. "Your reaction scared me."

Now he was the one who averted his eyes. But he had been too late, I had seen the hint of sadness in them. This was my chance. I put my hand on his cheek in the same way he just did and the symbolics of that gesture didn't go unnoticed. He looked at me with a burning intensity which made my heart pick up a beat.

"I told you before that I don't hate you," I said and he nodded. "But you know that I'm not ready. I know you can feel it."

I decided to play on his insecurities and it seemed to work, because he bowed his head in shame.

"I need time, Edward. And a little space."

He nodded again and put a chaste kiss on my forehead. A second later he had disappeared from the room into the night air. Another second later I broke down. I made it to the bed and lay down on the covers while the tears were already silently falling. I didn't sob or wail or do any theatrics, I just cried for hours. I felt like in some way I had betrayed Jasper. And while my plan took a more solid shape in my head, I cried even more. Because for it to work, I would have to betray Jasper completely. And that sickened me to the bone.

I was going to force Edward into making me a vampire. Then, my strength would match his and I would be able to break free. How I was going to do that, I wasn't sure yet. I either had to convince him I wanted to be with him forever – not option A – or I had to convince him I was in danger and he couldn't protect me in my human form. Which brought me back to the fact that Jasper hadn't found me yet.

Why wasn't he here?

Why did he let Edward take me in the first place?

Jasper…

And then I got angry, furious even. Was it so hard to find me? Was he even trying? He was a motherfucking badass bastard back in the days. Did he even want to find me?

My doubt and rage went on for a good hour until finally my sanity returned. Jasper loved me and he would do anything to get to me. But in the mean time, my sense of self-preservation kicked in and I would do anything to see the man of my dreams again. Damsel in distress be damned. Knight in shining armor be damned. If I had to betray him to lay eyes on him once more, I would do it. Even if it meant he wouldn't love me anymore.

And that's when I decided to leave him a letter. I couldn't explain anything to him. But I could let him know I was unharmed and not giving up. And I lied in it. Told him this was the first chance I had to write anything. I thought it would make him feel better and regain his focus. I did share with him my love and I hoped that eventually he would understand why I did what I did. And if my plan failed and I was killed in the process, he would know that I died with him in my heart, only him. Dramatic much? Yes, but I was entitled to I felt.

When Edward came back later that night, I was fully composed. The part of me that belonged to Jasper was safely locked away, leaving only a shell of myself. A shell that didn't care what happened to her, who touched her or what the consequences of her actions were. In a way, it was strangely liberating. I had my goal and there would be nothing to deter me from it. Not even my own conscience.

I walked up to Edward and kissed him softly on the mouth, taking him completely by surprise. I told him in my shy voice I had feared he wouldn't come back to me. I managed to blush a little and fluttered my lashes, went all out. He smiled and embraced me gently. There was no more disgust, no more shudders. I was empty.

He kissed me back equally soft and chaste. He smiled his smile that would light up a room, but there was nothing in me left that could see it. I was a genuine zombie now.

Deep down inside the real Bella had only one thought.

_I will kill you for this._

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**AN: This is an unbeta'd chapter and I apologize for any mistakes. **

**Thanks for all the great responses to the last chapter. I didn't answer many reviews, but I read them all and they mean the world to me. **


	16. Chapter 16 Getting Close

**Chapter 16 – Getting Close**

**JPOV**

After I found Bella's letter my hopes were flying pretty damn high. She was alive and well, something I didn't dare hope for despite Alice's visions, and she had faith. Faith in me. That first day, I was nothing but giddy. My rep as a badass motherfucker would have gone completely down the drain if any of my enemies could have seen me then. There was a constant smirk plastered on Peter's face and Charlotte was mirroring my own feelings. Of course she did, Bella said she loved them.

The only one that wasn't sharing in the joy was Alice. As always, it was hard to get a good read on her emotions, but this time I was very curious so I decided to dig deeper. The predominant emotion coming from her was concern for me, followed by an astounding enthusiasm for everything she did. Those two were drowning out almost everything else. But then I started noticing the little things. Tiny spikes of fear, when Peter looked at her; a hint of disgust when Charlotte talked and the most obvious, love, when she turned my way. How I could have missed that, I didn't know. It freaked me out to be honest.

The more I paid attention, the clearer it became that Alice was very good at clouding her emotions. Her enthusiasm was the perfect filter. Even absolute focus from my side gave me only little clues to what she was really feeling and I started to understand better why I hadn't noticed her love for me earlier. It was a potentially dangerous situation, because for the first time I realized that she might not have been honest about everything she said.

I wasn't really sure for the moment how to handle this situation. Had I not needed her to find Bella, I would have made two things perfectly clear. One, that I absolutely wasn't into her, no matter how much love she felt. She was way too hyper and accommodating for my taste. And by the way, who could be into a woman that had the outward appearance of a child? Being around her only made me miss Bella more. But I couldn't say that now, could I? Second, I didn't trust her for a dime anymore. It was possible that she had been genuine all along, but I couldn't be sure. On the other hand, she could have been playing me the whole time and I fell for it like a halfwit for a pretty face.

In the end, I decided to take advantage of her fondness for me and hear her out about why she wasn't happy with our newly made progress. Meanwhile I was going to keep a very close eye on her and at the first sign of malice from her side, her limbs would be flying all over the place. Truthfully, I could use a good limb-tearing for the moment. Get rid of some pent up frustrations. But that had to wait until I got my hands on the mate-stealing fuckface bastard.

Back to matters at hand, using my charm on Alice. Peter and Charlotte were off hunting right now and would join us a hundred miles down the road, where we wanted to check out another motel. That left Alice and me alone in the car and it seemed like just the ideal moment to have a little one-on-one with our psychic.

"So Alice…"

Very smooth start Jasper, she'll probably be swooning over you already.

"Yes, Jasper?"

"I got the feeling you're not very happy with the progress we're making, honey."

I wanted to call her darling, but the word got stuck in my throat. That one was for Bella alone. I just hoped she didn't notice my pause.

There was a twang of guilt from her, quelled quickly with sadness. She looked up at me with big amber eyes and sighed. The gesture looked both studied and sincere, if that was even possible.

"I've had some disturbing visions and I didn't want to burden you with them, not while you were so happy," she admitted and I couldn't detect a single lie. That made my heart constrict in my chest and I pulled the car over to the side of the road. The sense of dread that washed over me was almost tangible.

"Is she hurt?" as nearly yelled as I grabbed Alice by the arms and dragged her close.

"No, no, it's nothing like that," she quickly assured me as she tried to calm me down by putting her hands on my arms.

"Don't lie about having a vision to spare my feelings, Alice. When it comes to Bella, I need to know. I just need to know. We've been over this before."

I had a déjà-vue with the whole vision of Bella having dinner with Dickward situation and it made me even angrier.

"Whatever it is, Alice, I can handle it."

She hesitated for a couple of moments, but saw the building rage in my eyes. And could probably feel it too.

"It's bad, Jasper," she started. "They're just flashes, but I can see them getting more and more… intimate."

"Intimate how?" I growled, gripping her even more firmly. She winced, but I wasn't going to let her go before she told everything.

"I've seen his hand up her skirt, he licks her neck, she kisses him on the mouth, he –"

"Stop! I get the picture."

As hard as it was for me to hear Alice say it, I finally understood Bella's letter. I knew what her plan was and I didn't like it a single bit. She was going to seduce Edward, or play along with his filthy little game. It was so much like her I should have realized it sooner.

"Fuuuuuck!" I roared. I had to get out of the car before I broke something.

"Don't follow me," I hissed at Alice and took off into the countryside. I had the urge to destroy some trees, but there was nothing but sloping prairie all around me. I screamed out all my agony and frustration in one long 'motherfucker' and took out of couple of cows to regain my composure.

I didn't want to make the same mistake as last time Alice had a vision I didn't like. Bella asked me to trust her and her plan and I would do just that. I loved her and she loved me and that was all that mattered. If anything, it was my fault that she had to resort to such drastic measures. She had even told me in her letter. She had been waiting for me and I didn't show. Cue the self-hatred. I was going to kill the motherfucker a thousand times over for each involuntary touch my Bella had to endure.

By the time I made it back to the car, I was completely calm. Bella did what she needed to do in order to survive and I would do nothing less to find her. Starting with Alice Brandon.

"I'm sorry, Alice," I said climbing in the driver's seat. "I didn't mean to hurt or scare you. Can you accept my apologies?"

Her surprise made way for love and concern and she nodded. I'm pretty sure she would have blushed if she could. I could be a suave motherfucker when I needed to.

"You don't need to apologize, Jasper," she said, her voice laced in concern. "It's just very hard for me to hurt you."

Her feelings were genuine when she said that, but I couldn't escape the feeling that there was more to it. I wasn't going to push it now, but I was certainly going to keep a closer eye on her emotions.

With my knowledge of Alice's vision, my mood was down below zero, as were Peter and Charlotte's. Charlotte immediately agreed with my assessment of the situation; that Bella was trying to seduce him. What we didn't know, was what her ultimate goal was; how she thought she was going to escape. That's where we needed to come along. In the end, it was up to me to save her, no one else.

The second day after we found her letter, we realized we weren't getting any closer. Alice saw a massacre caused by Fuckward in a town nearby and even though we split up, it effectively slowed us down. It was all so frustrating and draining, we all needed to hunt constantly. And that was slowing us down even more.

In the middle of the night, 70 hours and two minutes after the letter, we discovered something that chilled me to the bone. Interspersed with Bella's scent there was the distinct sweetness of another vampire, not Assward. Judging by its potency, the other vampire had come into contact with my girl for at least a couple of minutes. From then on Bella's scent disappeared again, as they most likely got back into their vehicle, but the unknown vampire was clearly on foot.

"He's a tracker," Peter stated almost at once.

As soon as he said that, I knew it was true. Somehow, Bella and Jerkward had come into contact with a tracker, pissed him off and now he was on their tail. As if one crazy vampire wasn't enough to deal with.

"This isn't necessarily a bad thing, Jasper," Charlotte suddenly spoke. We all looked at her like she was crazy, but she stared back defiantly.

"Listen, we're getting nowhere with our Merlin/psychic quest here. We're not one but five steps behind on the bastard. Once they get in their car, we're fucked. But this tracker doesn't have the same issues, he's following them on foot."

"And all we need to do is follow the tracker," I added. "Charlotte, I love you."

We both had shit-eating grins on our faces, making plans to ditch the car and continue the chase on foot. I could feel Peter's eagerness as well, but his ego was slightly bruised so I sent him a wave of my gratitude. The only one who wasn't happy with the whole situation again, was Alice. I was getting extremely suspicious by now, but I couldn't catch her with a single lie just yet. And when I asked her why she was feeling unhappy, she whined about not having the right footwear for a chase on foot. I couldn't believe I had ever found her presence soothing at that point and I dismissed her objections with a shrug.

Continuing the chase on foot turned out to be liberating. We were animals after all, predators on a hunt, doing what we were made for. We treaded lightly through unchanging prairieland jumping small streams and ducking through scattered bushes, never losing the scent and our goal. This is how it should have gone from the start and Peter and Charlotte shared my exhilaration.

After running a couple of hours Peter noticed a female vampire in the distance. Her hair was flaming red and it seemed like she was wearing a fur coat. She was running almost as fast as we were in the same general direction and in another few miles she was bound to hit the trail we were on. So far she hadn't seen us yet and I wanted to keep it that way. It was always better to have the element of surprise on your side.

She did notice us when we converged on the trail, but we were already too close for her to get away. Right away she crouched down defensively and I motioned the others to stay back as I approached her. It was very obvious that she was a nomad on a closer look. Her clothes were shabby cast-offs, she wasn't wearing shoes and there was a layer of grime covering her face like she hadn't seen water in weeks.

I kept a respectable distance of ten yards between the two of us to show I harbored no ill will, but close enough for her to see my scars. The sight of that alone usually put the fear of god in any vampire; it was instinctual. Her fear did indeed spike, but there was no sign of it in her face or posture. She was a tough one.

"Why are you following my mate?" she hissed at me.

"We have no business with your mate," I tried to assure her as I pushed some calming vibes towards her. Her emotions were on the edge of being crazed and it didn't have much effect.

"He's tracking my mate who has been abducted. I'm simply using his trail to get to her," I explained.

She looked at me in stunned silence for a couple of seconds. Next she started laughing hysterically which stunned me in turn. And creeped me out. She sounded very much like a hyena. All the while her emotions were such a cesspool of hate and rage mixed with an insane amount of jealousy, I couldn't make sense of it. Come to think of it, she was probably just crazy.

"If James is tracking your mate, she's as good as dead," she spoke as her laughing fit had died. "He's the best and he won't ever let go once he's on a hunt. He lives for the kill."

There was so much smugness in her words, I almost ripped her head off right there. Instead, I took a deep, unnecessary breath and smiled at her.

"Well, then I'm going to have to kill him first," I told her, my own smug smirk in place.

That was enough to send her over the edge, the crazy ass bitch, and she came at me nails first, a high pitched shriek coming from her throat. The noise stopped abruptly as I tore her head off. I never promised I wouldn't kill her. I just wanted her to make the first move.

I made quick work of removing her limbs, while Peter had already started building a pyre. I guess I did get the limb-tearing I had been craving after all. And I deserved it with all the shit I had been dealing with in any case.

Not five minutes after I met the redhead, we were already on our way. Peter, Charlotte and I made a great team when it came to disposing vampires even though we were a bit rusty. Alice on the other hand was freaked out. She probably had never witnessed the killing of a vampire. It wasn't nasty, like a human's with all the blood, but that made it somehow more disturbing. That an immortal life could be finished so quickly. Or, and that was a valid possibility, she was merely fearing for her own life.

We continued our pursuit even faster now we knew what this James character was up to. The trail went on and on and on for days. He wasn't stopping, but neither were Shitward and Bella. Convenient for us, because there was no cleanup to be done. And soon we were very hot on their tail. But so was James.

The scent of the tracker was growing steadily stronger in the last thirty minutes; it seemed like he was slowing down. Charlotte came running next to me as I slowed my pace a little. Our hunt would be of no use if he saw us coming. I had my senses cast out to pick up on his emotions, but we weren't close enough as of yet. What I did feel clearly, was Charlotte. She was nervous and wanted to ask me something, but was too scared to interrupt.

"What is it, Charlotte?" I asked, harsher than I intended. I knew as well as she did, that I was a different man when I took charge and she took no offense by my tone.

"We need a plan, Jasper. This isn't going to be as easy as taking care of the female. The tracker is experienced, that's obvious."

"I can handle it."

"True. But time is of the essence here. And how are we going to find Bella once you kill the tracker?"

Fuck. She was right. I had been so focused on getting to him, I hadn't thought about what was next. And this was exactly why Charlotte was an essential part of our team and not just Peter's mate. She always kept an overview when we men got carried away.

Peter joined us and we started making up a strategy while running. As much as it pained me, we had to wait to take James out until we were on Bella's trail ourselves. But we needed to be close enough to be able to intervene if he found her before we got him. It was a thin line to walk.

We decided to split up. Once we got close enough, Peter would make a sweeping motion to the right and Charlotte would go to the left. The objective was to get ahead of him and find Bella, but stay far enough away to not alert Crapward. Alice and I would stay on the tracker and take him out. It all came down to timing. I could only kill him once either Peter or Charlotte located Bella and then it had to be fast. Next we could regroup and get to Bella together.

It was a good plan and it worked better than I imagined. One of the first things you learn during combat is that the plan almost always needs redirecting. But not this time. Once I got a read on him, I sent the other two to find my mate. Not fifteen minutes later, Charlotte called me on my cell to tell that she had located Bella. They apparently had stopped running and hid out in an abandoned farm building two miles from where I was standing. Then I got into action.

I sent waves of crippling fear and despair the tracker's way, slowing him down. I reached him within the minute as he lay curled up in a ball in the middle of a field. It was strange, I had been fantasizing about making a great, theatrical appearance, but once I saw him, I felt nothing but disgust. The vampire in front of me was a scrawny, dirty, blond man, changed in his late twenties. Tracking probably was the only ability he had. The redhead had been so blinded by love, she couldn't even see how tiny and insignificant he was. He recoiled and tried to crawl away from me even when I stopped feeding him fear.

I grabbed him by his dirty shirt and jerked him upright. The last sound that came from him when I put my teeth at his throat wasn't a wail as I expected. He laughed hysterically just like the female had done. I hesitated for a second, but then bit down into his neck to rip his head off. He only had the chance to say one thing.

"You're too late…"

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**AN: I was torn between my love for cliffies and giving you readers what you want. But as you've notived, the cliffie won. I'm evil, I know.**

**Thanks to Jasper's Destiny who taught me how to write an interruption on the wordybitches blog. I just had to use it :).**

**Like last chapter, this is unbeta'd. My apologies for any mistakes still left.**


	17. Chapter 17 Becoming

**AN: Yes, it took me way too long. I'm sorry. Go read now :).**

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**Chapter 17 – Becoming**

**BPOV**

"I like this, Edward," I said, holding his hand. "The fresh air does wonders for me."

"I like seeing you happy like this, Isabella," he replied and kissed the top of my head. That still made me shiver in disgust, even though my emotions stayed detached. It must have been purely physical. That was good to know, that my body didn't want to betray Jasper. Edward, of course, saw it as a sign that I wanted him badly. Stupid fuck.

We walked along the deserted park near our hotel in semi-comfortable silence. I tried to ignore who I was with and enjoy my surroundings. There was a little pond nearby, but since it was night there were no ducks or birds around. A memory of my childhood suddenly came popping up, from when my family was still whole. Me, my mom and my dad walking hand in hand in the park, them swinging me back and forth in between them, feeding the ducklings, being happy. It caused such a jolt of pain through my heart, tears were pooling in my eyes. But that time of my life was long gone and the only thing that kept was the thought of being reunited with Jasper.

All of a sudden Edward stiffened, ripping me from my musings, and dragged me behind him. He sniffed and started to growl softly.

"What is it?"

"Vampire."

My heart surged. Jasper must have finally tracked me down and was about to swoop in for the rescue.

"Do you know him?"

Please let it be Jasper.

"No, I haven't smelled this one before."

My hopes plummeted just as quickly as they had risen. Fuck!

I peered from behind his back and saw a blond man approach. At about ten yards from us, he stopped, and to me it was clear now that he was indeed a vampire. He was wearing torn up jeans and a denim jacket without anything under it; it was like he had missed a couple of decades of fashion. He wasn't tall, but appeared extremely menacing. His eyes just oozed malice.

"You've brought a snack," the vampire spoke, a false grin spreading on his face.

I realized then, that this meeting didn't need to end badly. Edward could just confirm and tell he wasn't intending to share me. I had my confused act all ready, being the dumb victim and all. But then Edward needed to fuck it all up.

"You stay away from my mate or I'll rip your head off."

_God dammed. Motherfucking ignorant asshole._

Now the vamp's curiosity was spiked. I saw it in his eyes. His grin spread and he licked his lips in a really disconcerting gesture.

"Well, well, if that isn't interesting. Your mate? I bet she tastes delicious."

He inched forward, as we stepped back. Every move we made, he mirrored. He scared me more than Edward and I was starting to think, he scared Edward as well. After a minute I understood we were in some sort of weird Mexican stand-off. Neither of them was going to pounce, because neither of them was sure they were going to win. Cowards.

Before I knew it, I was dragged over Edward's shoulder and we were running. We went faster than I ever knew a vampire could run. We were in our car and driving in less time it took me to count to ten.

"What's going on, Edward? Who was that? Why are we running?"

"He's a tracker."

"What's a tracker?"

Edward turned to me, eyes pitch black, frightening the shit out of me.

"A tracker does just that, he tracks. He can find anything or anyone he wants, once he gets a whiff of their scent. And now he's on our trail."

He looked back out over the road and gripped the steering wheel tightly. I had no idea such a thing as a tracker existed, but it rang true. I had seen it in his eyes. He wouldn't give up until he had what he wanted. A taste of me. I didn't need to read his mind to know that.

We drove on for hours on end, taking the highway in one direction and small back roads in another, anything to keep the tracker off our tail. It wasn't working. Even in the car he seemed to be able to find us, something I had only now come to realize was hard for a vampire.

Edward's carefully maintained facade was crumbling under the pressure of the hunt. His eyes were permanently dark, as he had no time to feed anymore, and he became twitchy and on edge. His newborn side was finally showing and I had to take advantage.

"We can't keep running like this, Edward," I spoke to him on the evening of the second day.

"You're hanging on to your self control by a thread and I'm too tired to take over the wheel. We have to do something."

He nodded almost imperceptibly while his jaw tightened. I had spent enough time with him to know that meant he agreed but wasn't too happy about it. And he always had been the kind of man that could never admit out loud when he needed help. Especially from a woman. Ass.

It was silent for a while after that which made me realize he had absolutely no clue what to do.

"I have an idea, but I don't think you're going to like it," I said, laying my hand lightly on his arm.

Again with the quasi-nod.

I had thought all day about how to tell him. Should I just blurt it out or ease him in to it. I had decided on the latter.

"I know we're running away to protect me. If you could have been one hundred percent sure you could have taken the vampire without harming me, you would have. Am I right?"

"Yes."

At least he spoke.

"So since he's older than you, he doesn't need to feed that often? Is that right too?"

I knew I was right, but I had to get him along in my reasoning.

"Do you think he's going to get tired of chasing us if we evade him long enough?"

Edward's answer came right away.

"No. I'm young, but I know the type. He's completely focused on stealing you from me. And once he has you, he'll dispose of you; but he'll probably torture you first before he drains you. He has been doing that for decades, if not longer. The fact that you are protected by another vampire makes it such a challenge, he can't resist. He won't stop until he's reached his goal."

"I will never let him hurt you, Isabella," he said suddenly while grabbing my hand tightly in his. "I'll defend you with my life."

That was kind of overly dramatic, but his emotions were real and I needed those to get him to approve my plan.

"Thank you, Edward," I responded, giving him a small squeeze.

"But I'm afraid that won't be enough. The only way to stop it all is to kill him."

"I agree."

It was now or never...

"That means you'll have to make me a vampire. The two of us could take him out easily."

"NO!" he roared.

"No, I will not turn you into the same monstrosity I am. You don't know what you're asking."

"I do know what I'm asking," I said defiantly. He didn't have an idea how well I knew. And what I was giving up by asking this. The chance of being turned by Jasper, the man I loved more than I loved my life. And suddenly I felt so stupid. Why had we waited to turn me? I hadn't admitted it to myself but I had been ready to become a vampire the day Jasper bared his soul to me. The connection we achieved that day was so profound, I should have recognized it. I belonged with him for all eternity.

My heart ached for him so badly that for a moment, I couldn't breathe. When I regained my composure, I went on like I didn't just have one of the greatest epiphanies of my life.

"You know that there really isn't a choice, Edward," I spoke to him calmly. "He is going to get to us eventually and when he does, two are stronger than one."

And as an afterthought I added: "And if need to be frozen in time, I'd rather have it while I'm still young and pretty, with my first set of teeth."

Peter would have loved that joke, but Edward ignored it altogether. I could tell he was considering it though. It was probably his innermost secret to have me with him as a vampire, thinking he could have me as his pet forever.

Two hours of driving later, the car suddenly came to a stop. Once Edward turned his head to me and I saw the look on his face, I knew I had won. He looked utterly defeated, shoulders slumped and his handsome face was distorted in pain. But when I looked into his eyes, there was this twinkle present, like secretly his deepest fantasy was about to come to reality. And abruptly I got very nervous and afraid. My heart started racing and my palms got sweaty. I'm sure he must have noticed, but by then he was already inching closer to me.

He didn't speak a word, but smiled sadly, maybe in an attempt to comfort me. It wasn't really working. And of course this time, my instinct screamed at me to run away, to fight, to do anything but wait for what was to come. It took all the willpower I had to stay in my seat as Edward's smile turned into a devilish grin.

With that sight, all my confidence flooded away and I was left utterly afraid, doubting everything I had done so far.

In a flash it was all over. He lunged for me, too fast for my eyes to capture. It took a second for the pain to hit me, as he ripped into my neck.

I wished I could say it all went dark. It didn't. Every detail was etched in my mind with gruesome clarity.

As his teeth tore through the flesh of my neck, I closed my eyes and clamped my jaw shut. The brutality of the attack had momentarily stunned me, but the pain quickly brought my wits back. I wished it hadn't.

The sounds Edward was making were disgusting, slurping and moaning at the same time. It made me shiver and that might have been the key to my survival. He stopped drinking suddenly like he himself was whipped back into reality. I opened my eyes to be met with the disturbing sight of Edward's face right in front of me, covered in my blood. It was almost like he had rubbed his face in it; it was absolutely everywhere.

Meanwhile, I could feel myself getting weaker and now the blood was running freely out of the wound. Apparently he had had the presence of mind to not nick my artery and just went for a vein. Otherwise, I'd be long dead by now. In a reflex gesture, I brought my hand to my neck to stop the bleeding, but Edward stopped me in mid movement. He leaned into me and licked the wound softly. The burning sensation of torn flesh intensified, but the blood stopped running.

The fire was slowly spreading underneath my skin, as Edward was licking up the last drops of my spilled blood. The urge to writhe and scream was starting to get overwhelming. When a soft whimper broke through my lips, he leaned into me and whispered in my ear.

"You can scream now, Isabella. I think I'd like that."

Motherfucker. That did it. I wouldn't scream no matter what. I'd be ice cold fury. And I would retain my sanity and my goal.

Kill Edward, get to Jasper.

Kill Edward, get to Jasper.

Kill Edward, get to Jasper.

...

I didn't lose track of time, because I had a clear view on the dashboard clock as Edward started driving again. We were still on the run of course, as hard as it was to remember that through the burning. But as the pain increased, minutes seemed to slow and seconds took eternities to pass. And still I wouldn't scream. Focusing my mind on my mantra helped. There was a maelstrom of love for Jasper and hate for Edward coursing through me. At one point I wondered if I would be able to hang onto both or if one of the two would block the other out.

Edward stopped a couple of times for gas, the sun rose and went down again, my flesh burned and the green numbers of the clock kept on changing.

On the third day, right before sunrise, Edward pulled the car into a deserted country road. At a building that was probably once a barn, he stopped and gently picked me up and carried me inside. That's when I realized two things; I could see almost perfectly in the dark and I didn't need to blink anymore. Too bad the pain wasn't subsiding.

He laid me down on the ground with such tenderness, it seemed like he actually cared for me.

"It will be over soon, my dear Isabella," he whispered, brushing my hair from my face.

He was right. The pain was receding gradually from my toes and fingertips. My heart was beating slower and slower, as if my blood was starting to freeze. And that's what it started to feel like. With those last beats, a blistering cold spread through my veins, extinguishing the burn, but leaving its own pain in its wake.

And then, with one last beat, it was over. No more burn, no more cold, no more pain.

My mind was reeling. It was no longer obsessed with the pain and now I realized it was vast. Millions of thoughts emerged at the same time, my senses were in overload and it all paled to one emotion. One thought.

Kill.

In the same fraction of a second it took to think it, I was at the other side of the room. I fought the instinct to crouch and hiss, because really, it seemed pretty ridiculous to me. But nonetheless, my muscles were tensed and I was ready to strike.

"Isabella, love, you don't need to fear me. Do you remember anything?"

Oh yes, motherfucker, I remember you.

"You are Edward," I managed to squeeze out after taking a breath that was apparently no longer needed.

Once I spoke his name, I was assaulted with images of him and what he did to me. And I did follow my instinct and growl. But I didn't attack. Not yet. Only attack when you are sure you are going to win and when you do, do it with such force that there's going to be no retaliation. I was sure someone taught me that, but it was hazy and I couldn't place a face with it.

Edward approached me carefully, but clearly confident in his own superiority. I deliberately relaxed my stance, to invite him even closer. When he noticed that, a small smirk crept over his face and he closed the last couple of yards relatively quickly.

He looked at me appraisingly and I cast my eyes down, because if I had looked him in the eyes, I wouldn't be to control myself for much longer. And I knew he wasn't close enough to rip him apart just yet. Fortunately, the gesture reminded him of the 'shy Isabella' I had been playing in the beginning and he inched even closer.

He brushed my hair to the side, exposing my neck and with it the scar he had given me.

"I love seeing my mark on you, Isabella," he cooed at me.

My arms jerked upward to claw his eyeballs out, but I could restrain myself just in time.

"Hold me, please," I said instead, the strain in my voice giving it the right amount of tremble.

Of course he obliged. I kept offering his deepest desires; he was even shaking with want. My arms wrapped around his neck in a tight embrace, but still he didn't suspect a thing. I put my head on his shoulders and he had no idea my teeth were only an inch away from his neck. I nuzzled even closer so that my lips were touching his flesh and he sighed. The son of a bitch sighed.

"Edward?" I mumbled into his neck.

"Yes, love?"

"Goodbye."

I yanked his head to the side and before he realized it, my teeth tore through his marble flesh with the same ease his had torn through mine. There was no blood, just sickly sweet venom, but it tasted like victory. I bit and tore as he squirmed in my, but I was stronger. My vengeance was giving me the strength I needed and in an instant, his head was loose. I kept tearing and shredding his flaying body until there was nothing left but a pile of goo.

Suddenly, I smelled something out of the ordinary. Warning bells started ringing in my mind. The scent came from the entrance of the barn and I whipped around to face the threat. Another vampire was standing in the open door, watching me intently.

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**AN: I've done it again. I really can't help myself. Hit me with your annoyance, I've deserved it. I love you all anyways! Thanks for sticking with me. **


	18. Chapter 18 Reunited

**AN: Hi y'all. You probably thought I had forgotten about this story. I assure you I haven't. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter 18 - Reunited**

**JPOV**

The words kept on ringing in my mind as I tried to figure out what to do.

_You're too late…_

They were stuck in a loop while that tracker's crazed expression was etched on my retina. Every nanosecond another horrible scenario unfolded before my eyes in which Bella was horribly maimed, raped and/or killed. A sick mind and a good sense of imagination really weren't helping me at all. But she couldn't be dead. I would have felt it. There's no way that Bella was gone without me feeling it in some way.

No, she was still alive. And Charlotte had located her and I had all the faith of the world in that woman.

I covered the two miles to the abandoned barn in the blink of an eye. Immediately, I was hit with a crippling amount of hatred and fury. It was so overwhelming it brought me to a halt. I didn't recognize the source of the emotions, but there was something vaguely familiar about them.

I crept closer to the entrance, casting my senses out wide, but there was only one person present in the farmhouse. And that person was a vampire. A vampire…

Suddenly it all fell into place, the cryptic remark of the tracker, Bella's plan, the emotions exuding from the barn… I rushed to the doors, which were still open and I saw her in her glorious magnificence.

My Bella. A vampire.

I had the pleasure of seeing her rip off Edward's dick and stomp it under her foot, until there was nothing left. She kept on ripping chunks off Bitchward until he was spread over the entire barn. And then she went around again shredding the remaining bits in even smaller pieces, leaving a gigantic puddle of venom. That was my warrior woman, my demon princess, and she was fuckhot.

I was still frozen in the doorway, undecided about how to approach, when Bella suddenly caught my scent. Her head jerked in my direction and I was locked in her gaze. Her scarlet eyes were gorgeous and all-consuming, but her look was also intense and feral. She righted herself and for a moment we did nothing but stare. If there had ever been any doubt in my mind that she was my mate, it was erased completely. The connection I felt ran deeper than just the love and lust from before. I wanted to run up to her and hold her, love her and claim her, and I would have done just that if she had given any indication she felt the same. Hell, if she gave any indication she even recognized me.

Then, my brain started functioning again and I recognized the danger of the situation. She was a newborn, coming off the high of her first kill and I was a warrior, intruding into her domain. In the old days, when I was subduing newborns by the dozens, I would wait for them to make the first move, sidestep and then rip off a limb. Dazed by the pain and the haziness that came with the change into the vampire world, it became very easy to overpower them. But now, with Bella, the thought of hurting her didn't even cross my mind.

Sniffing the air, she inched closer to me, obviously on edge and ready to pounce. I stayed as neutral as possible, neither crouching nor trying to assert my dominance. And still, there was no sign of recognition, not even in her emotions which were at the end of a hatred and rage tailspin. I tried calming her a little bit, to no apparent effect. As a second strategy, I tried pushing my feelings of love towards her and that's when she leaped.

All my instincts screamed to defend myself, yet I couldn't lay a finger on her. I braced for impact and was thrown in the dirt outside the barn, landing on my back with my beautiful Bella right on top of me. She put her face in my neck, her nose right where my jugular once pulsed, and breathed in deeply. Her teeth slightly scratched my skin, and despite the danger I was in, I wasn't afraid. If I died now, I'd die a happy man, knowing that Bella was safe.

As if she sensed my emotions, Bella raised her head to look into my eyes.

"Jasper?" she whispered hesitantly and at the sound of her voice I could only nod.

In a single moment, all her inner darkness, misery and horror, where replaced with a love bigger than I had ever felt from her. She was my true mate and I was hers.

Slowly, I raised my hand and gently caressed her cheek. She leaned into my palm and let me drag her down to me. She gripped onto me tightly as I hugged her and if not for two obvious projections of joy and love from a couple of yards away, we would have stayed on the ground for half of eternity. I lifted her head with both my hands and placed a loving kiss on her lips. Detaching myself became increasingly hard, but we'd have time for just the two of us soon enough.

"Darling, there's two more people right here that want to meet the new you," I told her quietly, not to unnerve her.

In a move that was unsettlingly fast, even for me, she was up and racing for Charlotte. They collided with a heavy thump and Bella whirled the older vampire around like she was a child. When she was put down, Charlotte started placing kisses all over Bella's face while saying how much she had missed her, how beautiful she was and that she loved her.

Bella's clear laugh tinkled all over the place and she told Charlotte she loved her too. That stung, I have to admit. She should have told me first, but then again, I should have told her that first. And now it was too late and those words were for Char first. I shook my jealousy off as Bella turned Peter's way. He had caught my level stare before and knew that I would not allow any lusting or inappropriate touching. Their embrace was brotherly and right after, he turned her in my direction again with the words: "Go to your mate, Bella, he misses you already." And the bastard winked at me like he did me a favor.

She started sashaying towards me, a human side of her that I all of a sudden was very glad she retained, when she stopped in mid stride.

"Who is the other vampire?" she hissed, turning around and scenting the air.

"That's Alice," Peter answered. "She's been helping us tracking you down."

Bella seemed ready to explode; I felt the emotional turmoil from earlier bubbling to the surface again. Then she surprised the hell out of me by closing her eyes for an instant and calming down. The fury wasn't gone, but she was in control again.

"Can you get her for me, Peter? I'd like to thank her too, if that was the case."

Peter ran off in the direction I had come from earlier and Charlotte and I walked right up to Bella. Neither of us was entirely convinced by her calming act and we both felt the urge to protect and if necessary restrain Bella. She was up to something.

While we waited for Peter to return with Alice, I snaked my hand around Bella's waist and she leaned into my side.

"I've missed you so much, darling," I whispered into her hair, as I kissed the top of her head.

"Me too," she sighed.

Then she reached for Charlotte's hand and added, "I missed all of you. Thank you for coming for me."

It seemed like she wanted to tell us more, but at that time Peter and Alice arrived. Bella's back became ramrod straight and she stepped about a yard in front of us. Alice stopped at the sight of Bella and was immediately terrified. I have to admit, she looked fearsome, and Alice was petite and not very skilled at fighting. Peter backed off to the side, apparently knowing more about the upcoming confrontation than I did.

"Well hello Alice," Bella spoke, her cheerful tone giving me the creeps.

"Oh, hi there Bella. I'm so happy that you are unharmed and… not quite alive, but yes, I'm really happy that you're here with Jasper and that we've finally found you. I'm so sorry that we couldn't be here earlier…"

"Stop! Just fucking stop talking."

Alice's high-pitched babbling was cut short by Bella.

"Now you listen to me, you fucking cunt." At Bella's enraged tone, Alice whimpered and cowered backwards.

"Don't act all innocent and naïve, like you didn't know exactly what was going to happen when you turned Edward. This was all an elaborate scheme to get Jasper all for yourself. Edward told me all about it."

At these words, Alice turned and ran, leaving us all stunned. And then Bella's words really sunk in with me. Alice had betrayed me, betrayed us all. She had caused all this. And I was just as naïve as she had pretended to be. Within seconds I was ready to give chase, but Bella stopped me.

"No Jasper, she's mine."

The conviction in her voice was such that I could not deny her, even though I could barely contain my rage. After a quick nod from me, she took off like a bat out of hell in Alice's wake. The rest of us ran after her, our speed no match for hers as a newborn.

I felt Alice's terror before they came into sight. Bella had her trapped against a tree, her neck in a death grip. The tiny vampire was trashing wildly, trying to gouge at Bella's eyes, kicking and screaming. It looked like Bella was whispering something in her ear, after which she stilled and started trembling. They looked each other in the eyes and then it was over. Bella's teeth tore through her throat and with one jerk of her arm, Alice's head flew off. The rest of the body plopped down on the earth with a dull thud.

At that moment, a great weight seemed to lift off Bella's shoulders. She straightened up, turned around to us and smiled.

"Does anybody have a lighter?" she asked, her smile turning in a wicked grin.

That was our cue. I hugged her close to me, while Peter and Charlotte built a small fire. Peter grabbed the head and presented it to Bella on one knee.

"Your spoils, my mistress."

How that fucker could lighten the mood with one simple sentence was beyond me. Bella laughed out loud, accepted the head with a courtesy and threw it in the fire. When it had picked up enough momentum, Charlotte added the body and in a couple of minutes, all of what had once been Alice was gone.

While we were watching the pyre, I clearly felt that Bella was tired of it all. I nodded my head at Peter and he took off with his wife to take care of the other remains in the barn. It would probably be best to burn the whole place to the ground.

Bella and I turned to each other at the same time. For the longest time we just stood staring. The tension was building between us and not just the good kind. There were so many questions that needed answering, both from me and her. Not to mention the guilt that was eating away at me for being late. And yet we realized that now was not the time for talking.

In one stride I covered the distance between us, fisted one hand in her hair and pulled her close with the other. I wish I could say that the kiss that followed was the best one I ever had, that it sealed our love, but it was hard and rough and a constant battle for dominance. I lifted her up and started backing her into a tree, but she was having none of it. Without breaking the kiss, she did a kind of flip and I was one my back for the second time that day. She started grinding her hips into my groin, while producing the softest purr.

The alpha male in me was making its presence known and the need to claim my mate became more and more urgent. I flipped us again, grabbed her leg and raised it over my hip, so I could rub my cock onto her core. She loved that and her purring became deeper. I ripped her t-shirt right through the middle, revealing a plain black bra which I tore off with my teeth. For my next move, I had been waiting the better part of a year. I took a nipple in my mouth sucked down and then bit. She arched her back, pushing her breast into my face, making my dick twitch. There was no way either of us could make it slow and romantic. We were both too wired and needy. I did have the sense to get our pants off without tearing them, though.

Bella was lying naked on the ground and I could spare one moment to drink in the sight. I crawled over her, nudging her legs apart with my knees, when I suddenly became aware that she was extremely uncomfortable. The lust was still there, as well as the love, but something was off. In that moment of hesitation, she crept from under me. A slight push against my side and I was on my back. So she wanted on top. I could work with that. It was even logical that she wanted to be in control. I just laid back and enjoyed the ride.

She slid over me in one quick move. The searing heat I was used from her was gone, but now she was tight and firm, unyielding. With one hand she held me down, while the other was pinching her nipples. Her pace was rapid to start with and before long she sped up to vampire speed. Earlier, I had compared her to a demon princess and she truly was. She was magnificent as she rode my cock, tits bouncing, throaty moans filling the air. We didn't last long. She clamped down on me with a force that made me come almost simultaneously.

I was so used to her being spent after sex, that her getting up and getting dressed, took me quite by surprise. As soon as she was dressed, she sat down next to me, a sad smile on her face.

"I think it's time to talk."

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**AN: Well, it has been an interesting time since we last met. I have spent 18 months on a 4 hour a day commute to work, finished my PhD, and broke up with my boyfriend of eight years. Needless to say, this has affected my fanfic life. It took me this long to be able to write the story as I wanted it to go, without getting too cynical. The story is almost wrapped up and I don't think the rest will take long to write up now. But don't trust me too much. Anyway, thank you for reading and your support. I love every single one of you.**


	19. Chapter 19 Home

**Chapter 19 - Home**

**BPOV**

"I think it's time to talk."

The words seemed so inadequate for all that was happening inside my head. Yes, we needed to talk, about what had happened, what this would mean for us and about the future. At the same time, my mind kept wandering off. There were so many distractions, not in the least the very naked man I was addressing at this time. My single-minded focus of earlier, first on revenge and after that on claiming my mate, had vanished, leaving me hollow and vulnerable to anything else. There were too many sounds, too many smells and too many emotions to be sorted through.

It was as if Jasper understood this instinctively. He dressed and sat down cross-legged in front of me, looking into my eyes purposefully. I calmed instantly under his gaze, providing me focus and a source of serenity. I mimicked his pose and extended my hands to him, needing his touch to keep me grounded.

"I know I said just now that we needed to talk, but frankly, I don't know where to start, Jasper. It's all a bit much at this point."

"I understand, darling. You're doing really well, actually." There was a hint of surprise in his tone which confused me.

"You're a newborn, Bella," he clarified. "I'm surprised you can even sit still like this." And as an afterthought he added with that sexy smirk of his, "I'm even more surprised that we're dressed again. I'm having the hardest time not ripping off your clothes."

As much as I wanted to have a go at him again, I bit my lip and ignored that comment. If we started again, I was afraid that I'd lose the fragile grasp I had on my meandering thoughts and emotions. Noticing my reaction, he squeezed my hands lightly.

"I'm sorry, I'm a sex-depraved horny bastard. I'll keep my tongue in check."

Fuck me, the man was too hot when he acted like that. I nodded in thanks and started gathering my thoughts again. Where to start…

"Do you want me to go first?" he asked after a couple of seconds of silence.

"Yes, please. There's so much going on inside each time I think I find what to say first, something else pops up."

"Okay," he said and suddenly seemed nervous. "I guess I should have told you this the first moment I laid eyes on you. I love you so much. Life sucks without you. And I want you forever by my side."

That was the moment the final burden lifted from my shoulders, one I didn't know I carried.

"I love you too. And I don't think I could live without you anymore."

At that point we were both sporting shit-eating grins and we lost ourselves in the most loving, gentle kiss we had ever shared. It was like a flower opened in the center of my being and when I opened my eyes again, our bond as mates was complete. He looked at me in wonder, clearly having gone through the same experience. The whole thing was so unlike us, we burst into a fit of giggles.

"If we keep this sappy shit up, we're gonna have to get you a new set of balls soon, cowboy," I couldn't help but tease.

"You just make sure that the rainbows and butterflies stop shooting out of your ass first, baby."

God, I loved this man.

Still, there was a lot that hadn't been said yet and I now knew where to start.

"I need to tell you what happened between Edward and me."

"No, you don't. It's in the past, Bella. You don't need to tell me shit."

"I do, Jasper. I want you to know all there is to know. No more secrets."

In the following hour, there were a lot of growls, some tree-uprooting, much pacing and a fuckload of swearing, most of it from Jasper. I, myself, was uncharacteristically calm. But as I let it all out, the darkness was gradually leaving me.

"I want there to be no resentment between us, Jasper. I'm not apologizing for what I did to make it through, but I also want you to know that I don't hold it against you for trusting Alice and being a tad late in finding me."

When I spoke Alice's name, he froze and a flash of guilt came my way.

"You haven't told me the part where Edward filled you in about her plans with me," he suddenly interjected.

"He didn't tell me anything about her. But I suspected it. The whole damned thing was too well-prepared. So I confronted her and she betrayed herself by running away. When I went after her, I wanted her to suffer like I did. But the bitch was just crazy and deluded. She really loved you, you know, and thought you'd stay with her forever. In the end, I felt sorry for her and promised to make it quick."

I shrugged. She wasn't worth the trouble. As long as she couldn't hurt me or my loved ones again, I couldn't care less. Jasper chuckled and pulled me into a hug.

"You're the most amazing woman I've ever met."

We sat back down after that while he filled me in on how the chase had gone. I loved Charlotte even more after he told me about the instant dislike between her and Alice. He was clearly dealing with major guilt issues, but I told him in strong words that I would have none of it. It wasn't going to be that easy, but I was convinced in time, we'd both be able to let it go.

I had become increasingly uncomfortable while Jasper had been talking. My throat was itching like crazy and now the feeling switched over tiny pin pricks to a full-blown burn. It became difficult to stay seated and I started pacing. Still, I had no idea what was happening.

As soon as the pin pricks started, I felt like running, just running no matter where. The pacing helped for a while, but quite suddenly I couldn't take it anymore and while Jasper was in mid-sentence, I took off.

The run was exhilarating. I went so fast I was almost flying, my hair loose in the wind. I was vaguely aware of Jasper trailing me, but slowly falling behind. And while his absence felt like a physical part of me was gone, I knew this was something I needed to do by myself. After weeks of being cooped up and imprisoned, this truly felt like freedom. I could run wherever I wanted to and nothing could stop me.

It wasn't long before I passed the first signs of civilization and only then the penny dropped. I was hungry. Or was it thirsty? With that realization, I could have stopped and waited for Jasper. But that urge, it was bigger than me. I had been ignoring it for too long.

A single car was approaching from my right and I took a sharp turn towards it. With a sense of theatrics I didn't know I possessed, I jumped on the road, right in front of the car. It smashed into me with a tremendous bang and the noise of ripping metal not unlike the sound Edward's limbs had made when they came off. I ripped off the car door and dragged the unconscious driver onto the asphalt. Blood was dripping from a deep gash in the young man's head. The blood flowing freely was all I could think about, the smell of it tantalizing. I dove for the pulsing artery in his neck, when I was thrown aside and landed a couple of yards from the wreck.

A vampire was crouched between me and my prey, shielding the man from my view.

"Bella, please don't do this. Think about it first. You'll hate yourself for this, I know you."

The voice was familiar, as was the tone, but I didn't want to know, didn't want to acknowledge the words. The only thing clear to me was that this vampire was standing between me and what I wanted. His stance was not exactly threatening, so I moved closer. In response, he growled and slowly moved back his sleeves, intentionally showing me the scars on his forearms. My instinct screamed to submit, but that was something I would never do again in my life. I would get what I want or die. No compromises, no in betweens.

When the decision to attack was made, I didn't hesitate and didn't hold back. I ran towards the other vampire as fast as I could, a move he clearly expected of me. He easily threw me over his shoulder, trying to catapult me away. Instead of flying way over the car, I hooked my foot under the open door and used the leverage to change my trajectory. I had no intention of actually fighting a skilled warrior. All I needed was to land close enough to the bleeding man, so that I could reach him first. By the time the vampire had realized his mistake, I had my victim in a death grip and buried my teeth into his neck. I drank quickly and greedily, barely tasting the blood on my tongue. The more I took, the more my sanity returned. When the man's heart beat its final beats, I was very aware of Jasper watching me intently from a couple of feet away.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I should have foreseen this. I should have taken you hunting immediately. I'm sorry I couldn't stop you. I didn't want to hurt you…"

I looked at him, perplexed, and then at the dead body I was holding. My hands were covered with blood and judging by the stickiness of my face, that was covered as well.

I just killed a man. I killed a man and drank his blood. Not only that… Jasper had tried to stop me and I would have killed him or die myself to get to the man. Even with my massive vampire brain, I couldn't wrap my head around this new development. Somehow I knew I should feel guilty, but I didn't. This was natural. He was food.

"I don't feel guilty, Jasper. Is there something wrong with me?"

He stepped closer and pulled me into his chest.

"I don't know, darling," he whispered in my hair. "Feeding off humans is the basest instinct a vampire has, but we've never talked about what your food source would be. I thought we were going to have more time for that."

At the sound of a car approaching, Jasper tensed and dragged me out of sight. When a tow truck appeared, Jasper sighed in relief.

"Know-it-all motherfucker," he swore under his breath.

Peter jumped out of the truck and quickly started attaching the hook to the battered vehicle on the road. Charlotte came up to us and told Jasper to go help her husband; she would take care of me.

"Don't worry about it, doll," she said, rubbing my back. "It all happened to us when we were newborns. It's normal to lose control like that."

"I don't feel bad about it," I said entangling me from her embrace. "I felt free and powerful and natural."

She frowned at first, but then smiled at me.

"I'm glad for you, Bella. Let's go home."

She took my hand and we started running. The pace was moderate this time, but just as freeing as before. So far, I loved being a vampire. I couldn't wait for what the future held.

Charlotte and I ran for ages and I was glad to notice I didn't tire anymore. I could have run all across the country and not break a sweat. After a couple hours, Jasper and Peter joined us, and we switched hands so that I was holding Jasper's. I finally felt I was home.

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**AN: I wanted to thank you all for your wonderful words. This new chapter being finished so quickly is because of you. **


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